At work, I’ve been getting spam from what appears to be some kind of Russian dating site. I obviously have not followed the link, for fear of contracting some kind of digital disease. But, I’ve been giggling at the messages in the emails as I peruse my “Junk E-mail” folder. Here are a couple of gems:
If you are disappointed in its second half, bold, come in!
..and the body text:
I can do for you is – what can not no girl! Step to enter [web link redacted]
It cracks me up when spambot girls speak engrish! She sounds like a LOLcat!
You feel lonely? “I’m too lonely, a friend of the other company?
(I love the superlative quotation mark!)
And, the body text:
Hey, why do not you write? You forgot about me? “I am very unhappy without you, remember me?” It’s me, Olga from Russia, Moscow, remember? I’m waiting for you on his page on the Internet, and miss you terribly!
Um… Olga *shuddering at the mental image of the woman that this name evokes* – srsly NOT interested!!! Whose page are you waiting on again? Maybe you should hit ‘him’ up. I prefer my women less digital and more familiar to me. In fact, I prefer my women in the singular, and I’m really quite happy actually. Thanks anyway.