I previously posted about a prayer request. An event occurred today that has me really freaked out. I plead for your prayers. This could totally suck. Right now, I’m trying to tell myself that I’m freaking out for nothing, and everything is going to be just fine. I want to believe that is true, and I think it is true. But, if this goes south, I very literally may not live through it. I don’t think it will go south. I’ve been through this particular struggle before. It was the single most harrowing experience I’ve ever had, and I’m set up for it better this time. Of course, any traumatic experience rearing its ugly head again will cause that irrational fear. This will not be my last blog entry, but I’m scared. I don’t like being scared. I like to know that everything is going well.
Things have been going well for a while now. A couple months ago, I actually wondered when we’d reach the next bump in the road. Well, we have now. I’m still not ready, in my heart. But, I will do everything that I can. I need all your prayers right now. What I was hoping against is what I’m staring at right now. It feels as though my head is in the cobra’s mouth.
My boss was a bank manager. One time, there was a robbery. The robber assaulted the bank with a .22 caliber hand gun. He said that when that thing was pointed at him it was “THIS BIG!!!” He used his hands in a 2-inch circle to show the muzzle from his perspective. I’m hoping that’s what this cobra is. Always the optimist, I’m not going to let go of the idea that it may not be nearly as bad as I perceive it.
Anyway, for the fourth time, I ask for your prayers, this time more than ever before.