This just popped into my head the other day. What is up with the grouping together of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms, anyway? I’ve read people saying that it sounds like their favorite store, not a gubermint agency – and that’s funny, but I have a different thought.

I can have a lot of fun running a shotgun or rifle at the range with both hands, or I can have a handgun in either hand on a course that I’ve set up out in the field. I’ll shoot the targets on my right with my right hand, then I’ll shoot the targets on the left with my left hand. After I’ve had my shooty fun, cleaned and put the guns away, I can sit out in the evening with a single-malt scotch in one hand and a hand-rolled maduro cigar in the other and be as happy as a pig in s**t.

If God had wanted alcohol, tobacco, and firearms to be all together, he would have given me four hands. I’m just saying.