The Transporter

One of my dearest friends, Sean, asked me if I had seen The Transporter 3. When I admitted that I had seen none of the films in this trilogy, he insisted that I should check them out. So last night, Jen and I rented all three and watched them back-to-back. They were entertaining, but no great feat of film-making. To me, they were basically a blend of Die Hard and The Hire with a little Dirty Harry and James Bond thrown in the mix for good measure. They also ripped off a fight scene from Romeo Must Die, in which Jet Li makes extensive use of a fire hose to clobber the bad guys. The biggest problem is that Jason Statham is not nearly as good an actor as Bruce Willis, Clint Eastwood, Clive Owen, any one of the multitude of Bonds, or Jet Li for that matter. Statham’s deal is that he’s a muscular, rugged-looking dude that’s pretty good with his martial arts – namely kickboxing. He’s basically today’s version of Jean Claude Van Damme. Character development in the film was nominal at best, adequate at worst. The plot lines in each of the three were decent enough to keep me watching. The driving scenes were pretty involved, although they peaked in unrealistic silliness in the second episode. Since Statham can’t mask his English accent, they should have pitched his character as being retired from the RAF instead of Army Special Forces. I would say that overall, the films get better in succession, if not increasingly far-fetched at the core of each story. As I said, they were entertaining enough. My biggest beef with Statham is his ability (or lack thereof) to make faces. Therefore, I submit for your approval The Many Emotions of Jason Statham:

StathamEmotions

3 thoughts on “The Transporter

  1. Transporter – Decent movie for wasting some time.

    Transporter 2 – Half baked movie that once I was done I was glad I didn’t spend money to see it in the theatre

    Transporter 3 – Bad, Bad and – oh yeah – bad. Wasn’t even able to finish it. Only other movie in the didn’t finish category is ‘The Spirit’

  2. LOL! Perhaps my rapidly lowering expectations made the subsequent films simply SEEM better than each predecessor. I hated The Spirit. That was a pile of crap with a cherry on top. The only movie that I have ever refused to finish is The Doom Generation. I’m quite surprised the VCR didn’t commit suicide before I finally gave out on that one. I believe I’ve heard someone use a description recently that I’ll steal for that particular waste of celluloid: A dingle-berry pie in a crap crust with diarrhea meringue on top.

    instinct, did you see the BMW films? I really think that is what they had in mind for the Transporters, but I think they fell VERY SHORT OF THE MARK!!! Anyhoo, always great to see you here!

    –Michael

  3. Movie you should watch for the cheesy action fun is ‘Hitman’.
    Total cheese but it’s a good kind of cheese.

    Never even heard of the BMW films, sorry.

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