Erin’s Big Day

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Many of you have probably by now learned Erin’s long-standing secret. If not, I would rather you read it in her words than to give it away here. I’ve known about Erin’s situation for a bit now. We had started to chat online and had gotten to be friends. One day, she said that she had something that she wanted to talk to me about that she was nervous about. When she did her big reveal, I remember asking what else she had for me. But that was it. I was a little surprised that she’d gotten so worked up about telling me. I told her that I didn’t think that her differences were such a big deal. Really, I felt bad for her that she thought I might reject her for it.

I don’t think of myself as politically correct in the least nor particularly tolerant, but I just didn’t see Erin’s big secret as… …well… …all that big a secret. And, it isn’t. There have been several occasions that I thought she was going to blow her secret and regret it after the fact. I remember one evening in IRC in particular when she kept dropping hints in the room. I just knew she was going to do it. I felt like I was running both sides, hitting up Erin in a back channel to say, “don’t do anything you’ll regret tomorrow!” and hitting the main room to announce something along the lines of, “Erin is my friend and I’m standing with her.” So, although I do feel for Erin’s inevitable and obvious discomfort for her current situation, I’m actually a little relieved that it’s all out in the open now. I hope and I do believe that this will prove to be positive for Erin. And, as I said before, I’ll stand with my friend Erin. She’s still the little sis that we have known.

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31 thoughts on “Erin’s Big Day

  1. Haven’t read the post yet (have sprinklers to change here in a few minutes, then a pizza to go pick up….but I’ve seen enough to know its long and, knowing Erin, well worth waiting for some dedicated time to put to reading it), but even though I only lurk (non-rythmically….heh….see what I did there?) on her blog occasionally, I still think she’s cool, and whatever she decides to do with her life is hers to do. One of the nice things about the Internet is that people tend to be THEMSELVES (for the most part…there is no absolute truth in the world…and don’t get me started on religion!), and no matter what the outside may look like, Erin’s got one of the biggest hearts I…er….know? Read? Whatever the correct terminology is. Besides….nobody who rocks a Mosin can be a bad person!

    • My biggest conundrum (yes…my braincell goes places like this) is whether to continue using “she” or switch over to “he”. Doesn’t matter, I guess, just curious.

      • “She.” And if you aren’t sure, I find that asking helps. =) It does matter, but if you ask, it’s not so much a faux pas as it is a genuine question, which is much better than unintentionally offending someone, in my experience.

        • ^^^THIS. An honest question, asked kindly, will get you a kind answer regardless of how unintentionally rude the subject matter or phrasing may be.

          I feel female. I identify as female. Please call me “she” and “her”. I understand this may be difficult when we meet in person, and I will grant a lot of slack so long as people make an honest attempt.

          Trying is what matters.

          • I wish everyone would take on your attitude. The world would be a far more pleasant place.

          • Heh. That’s what I get for trying early in the morning before the Excedrin kicks in. I thought I was on your blog, Erin, despite the very subtle difference in layout and background colors (darn those black and white colors!!!). I should have asked on your blog, Erin, guess it was a fear of pissing you off (I have seen the Mosin’s bayonette and have no desire to meet one not attached to the rifle in my hands). I honestly have no good reasons, or snarky comments that will make everyone laugh, and can only beg your forgiveness.

            My bad!

  2. I’m for hoping that the biggest thing that happens is that she becomes more comfortable in her own skin, and gradually pulls away from worrying about what people think about her, and what she thinks people are saying about her. A lot of her pain is self inflicted, dern it.

    She’s gonna be needing our continuing support, and I for one am more than willing to stand behind, beside or ahead of her, as the case may require.

    And just as a side note, she told me some time ago, and I just assumed everyone else knew too. I now realize the trust she had in me. Not sure I’m worthy, as it were.

    • The biggest problem here is society. A woman can wear men’s clothing and no one even blinks. A man wears women’s clothing and people LOSE THEIR MINDS.

      Sadly, we can’t change society, which is why I’m still uncomfortable.

          • It’s not just the event…it’s the people who come, what they say, what they do, and their attitudes. Several folks there identify as female even though they’re biologically male, or they’re “executive transvestites” – and they’re this every day, and dress like that every day. They just use THIS event, in particular, to meet new people and essentially say, “Sup. This is me. Nice to meet you.”

            It’s like a networking and support group set to electronic goth music. And you’re right, women wearing jeans isn’t a big deal, and guys wearing whatever the hell they want shouldn’t be a big deal, but this event is a step our community has taken upon themselves to implement to help people who feel different to not feel alone. If it wasn’t for the strobe lights, I’d be there every month.

      • Not so true anymore. I see metrosexuals with “man purses” all the time, the differences between a kilt and a skirt are damned small, drag queens have their own cable shows and I’ve seen young men wearing jeans tighter than many women can wear. High heels are about the only thing men have a hard time pulling off without drawing attention. Oh, BTW, I live in Iowa, and I know the coasts are far more tolerant of individual styles than the folks are around here.

    • +1. Best case scenario, I hope this plays out to be an important step in a healing process for Erin. Worst case scenario, I hope it just turns out to be neutral.

  3. “She.” And if you aren’t sure, I find that asking helps. =) It does matter, but if you ask, it’s not so much a faux pas as it is a genuine question, which is much better than unintentionally offending someone, in my experience.

  4. It’s about WHO we are, not WHAT we are… Acceptance in our little corner of the Intarwebz has always been better than probably 90% of the world. It’s about a common interest that spans groups, ethnicity and age. Nuff said…

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