What If You Must Clean Your Wool Kilt?

As I’ve stated previously, I have but the one kilt to wear. I didn’t perceive this to be a big deal, as good wools have something of a self-cleaning property to them. I have had several high-end suits and sport coats for quite a few years that have never made a trip to the cleaners. Before you recoil in terror, please allow me to explain. Good wools contain natural oils that cause them to slough off the nasty stuff that gets on them either from your body or from outside sources. My wools don’t stink or smell like B.O. On the contrary, they have a neutral to pleasant odor, actually.

Of course, when you attempt to put wools through the laundry, they’ll shrink and often the fibers will wear prematurely. When you have wools dry cleaned excessively, their natural, protective oils will get stripped from the fibers and the fabric will stain more easily, and the fibers will start to break down. The take away from this is to avoid ‘cleaning’ your good wools if you can help it.

As I said, I’ve been wearing my suits and sport coats for years without cleaning and they aren’t soiled. My suits get worn on Sunday. Which means that each one of them gets worn about once every four or five weeks. My sport coats get worn once in a blue moon anymore. When I used to wear them every day, each one would get worn once a week or two. I’ve been wearing this kilt all day, every day. It has been over 100-degrees outside since I started wearing it. I got self-conscious. Even showering twice a day, the kilt didn’t have a chance to “slough off the nasty stuff” and it started to stink like crotch. So, I went sulking off to the grocery store, hunting for one of those home dryer dry-cleaning thingies.

Yeah. One of those. Anyway, I took a tentative glance at the instructions.

Yeah, yeah. Bla bla bla… This part did strike me though.

Oh yeah. I know where to spray this bad boy. I proceeded to douche the rear-most pleats and the apron section. A kilt like this costs hundreds of dollars, but I was going to take no chances on the foulness.

Pay no attention to the naked photographer/blogger. Nothing to see here. Throw the treated kilt in the dryer in a gentle bag with an included cleaner cloth.

Which was stupid because the thing escaped from the bag of its own volition like some kind of plaid deep sea creature.

I am happy to report that the colors are brighter, the smell is pleasant, and the cleaning procedure doesn’t seem to have negatively affected the kilt in the least. In fact, pleased to be wearing it again right now. With this experience, and since I honestly have no idea when I might receive a relief kilt, I have slightly altered my kilt undergarment strategy. But be warned, if you ask me what kind of underwear I’m wearing, I might return in kind. Oh and, please do make a donation to the cause. Keep in mind, I don’t get any of the money you donate. 100% of it goes to fight male cancer.

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