Open Letter

Dear random person who has been picking items on Jennifer‘s Amazon wish list and shipping them to us,

Thank you for the StayAway cat deterrent. As random items have been coming in from Amazon, I never expected as high-dollar an item as this thing is. In fact, although we had planned on purchasing one for ourselves, we hadn’t quite decided that it was worth the forty-five bucks yet. Thanks to you, now we don’t have to. We will be placing this device in turn in several different locations in our home where we would prefer the cats not tread and/or lay down. Cat hair on the ironing board sucks, even when a human is not watching. I know the AV receiver is nice and warm and snuggly when it is on, but it needs to have more cooling airflow than a cat’s body will allow. One of my major pet peeves is cats on countertops. I’m pretty well disgusted with a cat on a kitchen counter, but I’d prefer they stay off of bathroom counters as well. Perhaps I can even use the StayAway to convince cats not to use the stack of remotes as a highway around the coffee table, spraying controllers everywhere.

The best question is where to start. I know all three of them have found the ironing board to be a cozy hangout at one time or another, but it has been a while since I caught any of them there. Yes, ultimately I want them to stay away from the ironing board altogether, but I want to see this baby in action! I have it on high authority that a tiny puff of air or mist out of a can or bottle is just about the most frightening thing on the planet. We have used canned air to dust out enough electronics to see first hand exactly how terrifying it can be. It is actually scary enough to unsettle even the most laid-back of cats, such as Emerson and make him scramble fast enough to levitate and rocket down the hall, leaving behind a perfect impression of himself in shed hair, hanging in the air for a moment. Indeed, rumor has it that a tiny puff of air is even more horrible than acid water.

But, it gets even better still. See, I have a new Simmons game camera that I haven’t yet had the opportunity to install in the field. I also have a camera tripod that it will mount to. The camera has a video function and if I cancel the delay feature, it should begin recording just before the StayAway goes off. I wouldn’t terrorize the little fuzz-butts just for the filming opportunity, but since they’re going to get scared spitless, it would be a real shame not to record it for the entertainment value. I basically owe it to the world to do my best to capture video footage of spooked cat flights. I wonder how much video the 4GB card will hold. I guess we’re about to find out. This is going to be so awesome!

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