I hadn’t had a contact from a 419 scammer in quite some time. I was starting to think that they had gone extinct or something. But, apparently not. I recently signed up for a Skype account so I could be part of the train wreck known as Vicious Circle. It was fun but my equipment sucked up the show. So, I’m going to have to get a new headset and see if I can do that again sometime. Since I now have a Skype account, I downloaded the Android app to my Epic 4G and linked my account with my FB account. Pretty nifty, actually. The other day I saw that a woman had added me as a Skype contact. I added her reciprocally, assuming that she was some distant cousin that I didn’t remember at the moment. Seconds later, she attempted to call me on Skype. That’s about when I realized that I didn’t know her at all. I didn’t answer, but I shot her an IM via Skype.
[9/26/2011 3:18:49 PM] Evyl Robot: Do I know you from somewhere?
[9/26/2011 3:19:15 PM] freda boamah: oh not really
[9/26/2011 3:19:41 PM] freda boamah: i just wanna make some friends
Don’t think that I’m too slow. This is about when I thought that she may have ulterior motives. In fact, I initially only continued the conversation because I was curious as to whether she was a person or a sophisticated bot.
[9/26/2011 3:20:11 PM] Evyl Robot: Fair enough.
[9/26/2011 3:20:28 PM] freda boamah: ok
[9/26/2011 3:20:34 PM] freda boamah: cool
[9/26/2011 3:22:14 PM] freda boamah: im freda all the way from usa now in ghana on a mission in search of my missing mum n my dad is admitted at the hospital in ohio suffering from cancer n life has turned upside down for me
Now, I haven’t been to Ohio, but I don’t believe that the natives typicaly refer to their mothers as ‘mum’ there. By this point I was pretty certain that I was not messaging with an American. And, I could kind of smell the request for money coming.
[9/26/2011 3:22:32 PM] freda boamah: but i know i will surely work things out
[9/26/2011 3:23:29 PM] Evyl Robot: That is rough. How did your mother go missing?
[9/26/2011 3:24:40 PM] freda boamah: my dad n mum got divorced n my mum came to ghana n i have been sent to search for my mum
“Have been sent to search for”? Why yes. ‘Cuz she’s totally a sooper seekrit spye dotter!
[9/26/2011 3:25:25 PM] freda boamah: but have spent all my money on me in sleeping at hotels n guest houses just to find my mum to bring peace
Wait for it!
[9/26/2011 3:26:12 PM] Evyl Robot: I see. I spent all my money starting a business at home.
[9/26/2011 3:26:37 PM] freda boamah: ok dear
“Dear”?!? *Snick. Guffaw.* Alright, I have to admit that the only reason I didn’t block and report her at this point is I wanted to see how far she’d take the ruse with absolutely no promise of anything.
[9/26/2011 3:26:46 PM] freda boamah: so what work do u do?
[9/26/2011 3:28:54 PM] freda boamah: hello
[9/26/2011 3:35:09 PM] Evyl Robot: I do leather work. I sell belts and holsters for guns.
[9/26/2011 3:36:19 PM] freda boamah: ok
[9/26/2011 3:36:38 PM] Evyl Robot: I have made a few purses and other leather goods as well.
[9/26/2011 3:36:48 PM] Evyl Robot: But the holsters are my biggest volume.
Which all of you know you can order here, incidentally. 😉
[9/26/2011 3:37:33 PM] freda boamah: ok dear thats cool
[9/26/2011 3:37:49 PM] freda boamah: are u married?
Oh crap. This isn’t one of those sex scams is it?
[9/26/2011 3:38:03 PM] Evyl Robot: Yes. I’ve been married for thirteen years.
Thirteen wonderful years to an American woman who could kick your Ghanan butt!
[9/26/2011 3:39:46 PM] freda boamah: ok cool
[9/26/2011 3:52:22 PM] Evyl Robot: Are you married?
[9/26/2011 3:53:45 PM] freda boamah: nooo
[9/26/2011 3:54:40 PM] Evyl Robot: LOL!
[9/26/2011 3:56:12 PM] freda boamah: why?
[9/26/2011 3:56:39 PM] Evyl Robot: Lots of ‘o’s in that ‘nooo’.
[9/26/2011 3:57:15 PM] freda boamah: ok
[9/26/2011 3:57:17 PM] freda boamah: i see
[9/26/2011 3:57:30 PM] freda boamah: but for now im really disturbed
No, it just seems that way because you are a scammer from overseas. But, you didn’t mean ‘disturbed’ as in a little off mentally, did you? My bad.
[9/26/2011 3:57:47 PM] Evyl Robot: About your parents?
See how nice I’m playing? You know where this is going. Wait for it.
[9/26/2011 3:58:01 PM] freda boamah: i dont have money for shopping tommorow my foodstuffs are finished
[9/26/2011 3:58:04 PM] freda boamah: yeah
[9/26/2011 4:03:25 PM] Evyl Robot: I hear you. It’s hard to make it.
[9/26/2011 4:04:10 PM] freda boamah: can u do me a favour by sending me an amount to buy foodstufs tommorow?
BOOOM!!! Bwahahahahahahaaa! That didn’t take her long at all, did it? I decided to play sympathetic at this point.
[9/26/2011 4:04:56 PM] Evyl Robot: I’m sorry. I’m all tapped out right now. I don’t even have enough to buy my work supplies.
And, that was partially true that day! :/
[9/26/2011 4:06:35 PM] freda boamah: ok dear
[9/26/2011 4:06:51 PM] freda boamah: not even a $50?
[9/26/2011 4:13:16 PM] Evyl Robot: I wish I could. Sorry.
Alright. That was an outright lie. God, please forgive me for lying to your precious, scamming snowflakes.
[9/26/2011 4:13:54 PM] freda boamah:
[9/26/2011 4:23:12 PM] freda boamah: hello
[9/26/2011 4:23:48 PM] Evyl Robot: Hi.
[9/26/2011 4:24:09 PM] freda boamah: so what about me ?
Yeah, what about HER?
[9/26/2011 4:24:20 PM] freda boamah: my life is in dnger now
[9/26/2011 4:24:45 PM] Evyl Robot: And that sucks. I’m sorry.
That wasn’t exactly true either. When people do this as a lifestyle, they probably do live in some pretty crappy conditions, and I do feel for them. But, I’m not stupid enough to let that part me from my money by way of gross dishonesty.
[9/26/2011 4:26:09 PM] freda boamah: so what do we do?\
I really wish that I hadn’t jumped off the computer by this point. But, alas. I wouldn’t get to explore this question until she engaged me in another thread a couple of days later. Where do these people get off? Is anyone actually stupid enough to fall for this crap? Anyway, here’s what happened next:
[9:57:27 AM] freda boamah: hello
[9:58:06 AM] Evyl Robot: Good morning.
What kind of a morning would it be without Freda, after all? I bet y’all are jealous you don’t have a freda of your own!
[9:58:27 AM] freda boamah: morning
[9:58:39 AM] freda boamah: n how are u doing?
She sounds so concerned! Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?
[9:58:55 AM] Evyl Robot: Just fine. Were you able to come up with funds for your groceries?
[9:59:10 AM] freda boamah: no dear
[9:59:23 AM] freda boamah: not at all
[9:59:26 AM] Evyl Robot:
[9:59:34 AM] freda boamah: no one to help me out
Maybe I have a feeling that if people like me will keep people like freda busy, they won’t have time to talk to the gullible old people that actually would send money. This is like a public service. I’m a philanthropist!
[10:00:30 AM] Evyl Robot: That sucks. I feel for you.
[10:00:59 AM] freda boamah: ok
[10:01:22 AM] freda boamah: dear pls cant u in any means help me out?
[10:01:32 AM] freda boamah:
I’m actually pretty proud of my answer here…
[10:02:33 AM] Evyl Robot: Only with sympathy and prayer.
[10:02:49 AM] freda boamah: oh i see
[10:02:58 AM] freda boamah: n thx for that
[10:03:20 AM] freda boamah: but dear pls with a little amount u wish to help me out pls
[10:03:23 AM] freda boamah:
[10:06:03 AM] freda boamah: hello
Maybe it’s because I have a short attention span or maybe it’s because I legitimately stay too busy for this kind of foolishness, but I was bored at this point. Time to see how much push she’ll take in the other direction.
[10:06:18 AM] Evyl Robot: Within thirty minutes of introducing yourself, you asked me for money.
In all fairness, the timestamps indicate that it was more like forty minutes. Maybe she was legit after all. LOL!
[10:06:31 AM] Evyl Robot: I have tried to be nice, but that stinks of a scam.
In other words, this was obviously a scam even before she asked for money.
[10:06:57 AM] Evyl Robot: I do not make it a practice to give money to random internet acquaintances no matter how sad their sob story is.
If there’s more of a background than a thin story and shady claims, things might be different. Maybe.
[10:07:08 AM] Evyl Robot: I’m sorry but I will not be sending you money.
[10:07:14 AM] freda boamah: oh
[10:07:30 AM] freda boamah: is that all u can tell me?
[10:07:45 AM] freda boamah: n u now call me a scam?
[10:07:49 AM] freda boamah:
This one is observant, isn’t she? 😛
[10:08:37 AM] freda boamah: oh lord of mercy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I defy you to diagram that sentence!
[10:12:23 AM] Evyl Robot: http://www.scamwarners.com/
[10:12:49 AM] Evyl Robot: Normal people don’t make friends on the internet so they can ask them for money.
[10:13:19 AM] freda boamah: i dont understand what u are saying
That’s only because your English isn’t very good.
[10:15:14 AM] Evyl Robot: I don’t believe you are from the U.S., I don’t believe your profile pic is of you, I don’t believe your dad is sick in OH, I don’t believe your mother is lost, I don’t believe you are on a quest to reunite your family, and I don’t believe you need $50 from me for groceries. I believe you are a native of Ghana who wants to part an American fool with his cash with a sad story.
[10:15:22 AM] Evyl Robot: If that’s not true, prove it.
She’s gone, Evyl. She finally figured out that you aren’t buying what she’s selling.
[10:16:30 AM]You have no response? I’ll give you ten minutes to think about it and then I’m going to block your profile unless you have something to say about it.
[10:36:08 AM] Evyl Robot: Good bye. If anything you’ve told me has been true, I wish you the best. No, I wish you the best regardless. If my suspicions are correct and everything you’ve told me is a lie, may God have mercy on your soul.
Would you believe that I haven’t heard back from her? 😛 I removed her from my contacts and blocked her profile. Then, Skype popped up with a “Report Abuse?” window. Don’t mind if I do! Anyway, I could have used some of that raw snark on her I suppose. That’s what I’ll do next time I get one of these.
p.s. – Give donations for Kilted to Kick Cancer here. I think the other kilted bloggers are falling for this whole ‘put it off till the last minute’ sneak attack ambush thing that you’re doing. It’s safe now. If you make your donations on my behalf now, they won’t know what hit them!