KTKC 2013 Day 30

Unless you have been living under a rock, or you got here on a Google search for hot Japanese squid porn, because I just incorporated that phrase, you know that this month I have been Kilted to Kick Cancer. Again, I want to give huge thanks to all of you who have made donations to the cause. Here’s a picture of me playing a Native American flute.

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As I said in some previous post that I’m not going to link back to right now, in years prior, I have succumbed to the temptation to find an excuse not to wear the kilt during this magical time. Not so this year! Although I have worn leggings under my kilt for parasite protection in the field on two occasions, I have not worn a pair of pants. Unless you count this picture where I show how much weight you too can lose by simply wearing a kilt:

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But, I didn’t so much wear them as crawled into them and peek out the top. And in all fairness, I was wearing my kilt under the jeans when the photo was taken. But, my point is that I have been wearing a kilt. All. Month. Long. Ask the other participants if they have completely abstained from pants this month. I severely doubt it. Last I looked, I’m pretty sure I was in seventh place. I wonder if any of the six guys ahead of me has worn a kilt at the absolute exclusion of pants since the month of August. This is why you should be sending your money through my account. Well, that and this hunter safety orange head tube that I arranged on Teen Bot like a balaclava:

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As of this writing, we have nine hours until the close of KTKC. In previous years, it has really come down to the last minute on who took the most for the cause. I know that budgets have been tight this year. I also know that a lot of people get paid on Monday. So help a brother out! To entice you, here’s a pic of me doing my best Captain Morgan impression:

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Your guess is as good as mine as to whether I’d had more to drink than the photographer. I think we can agree that there have been some pretty good pictures this year. Truth be told, I’m looking forward to getting back into my pants. Tomorrow, I plan on wearing a pair of Wranglers. On Sunday, I’ll wear an Armani suit. But, until I shed my clothing to crawl into bed and go to sleep tonight, I will be wearing my 5.11 TDK. Please keep that in mind this afternoon and this evening. I will be kilted for the remainder of the month, as I have been for the entire month thus far. When you think of this, think of male cancers. It’s not to late to contribute. Please consider throwing some bucks at the cause for me. Thanks again.

KTKC 2013 Day 27, Recap from Yesterday

As you all know by now, the least sane of us have been kilted this month to raise awareness about male specific cancers, and to seek sponsorship in the endeavor to benefit related charities. Please feel free to throw some bucks at my Prostate Cancer Foundation page.

Sometime last week, we ran out of paycheck at the end of the bills. This happens more often in September than any other time of the year. Especially when we just upgraded phones. And, accidentally lost $500 to an embarrassing clerical error. Oops. On Wednesday, we ran out of coffee. Yesterday, I decided to use Coca Cola as my caffeine delivery system, but my body wasn’t having any of that nonsense.

For a while, my uncle was brewing green coffee, as he had read that it was the new, popular ‘superfood’ that would cure all that ails you. He got tired of drinking green coffee and gave me half a bag of green Brazilian santos that he no longer had any use for. Last summer was entirely too hot to roast coffee, as is produces entirely too much smoke to roast indoors, and consequently I still have quite a bit of this hanging around. So, yesterday, I dug out the roaster that I made out of a popcorn popper and a grill thermometer, and threw a pound of green santos in it on the grill’s side burner.

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Once the beans achieved the proper color, aroma, and sound, they went into the colander to remove the chaff.

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Update – sorry. I got twitchy on my publish button, apparently.

While the coffee beans were cooling, Jennifer and I put together a couple of smoked tri tip roast quiches with home grown parsnips, onions, and basil, topped with white cheddar. We baked one for dinner and threw the other in the freezer for next time. Over dinner we watched classic Doctor Who with Teen Bot. After Teen Bot went to bed, we pickled up jalapeño hybrids* and pear tomatoes from our garden with some garlic chunks. Although I’m a little disappointed at the anemic production of our garden over the last few years, yesterday reminds me that we really are producing quite a bit of our own stuff. As we sat and relaxed before bed, I commented that I wish my shoulder wasn’t bothering me so much because I’d like to get that couch cushion stitched shut finally.

Again, please do consider sponsoring me in this year’s KTKC drive. You can donate here. We only have three more days to go!

*Having planted our peppers too close together this year, they apparently cross-pollinated. Our best guess is that our jalapeños crossed with our habaneros, or possibly some kind of demon. They are bright red and wicked hot.

KTKC Day 24 – Goofing, Good Company, and Bad Jokes

There were two clouds high in the sky, just floating there and watching a more boisterous cloud lower in the sky. They watched it float this way and that, dart around, roll, and change shape.
Finally the one cloud said to the other, “He sure is nimbus, isn’t he?”
The other cloud groaned at the terrible pun and said, “Dude, are you cirrus?”

Yeah. I made that one up. Thank you. I’ll be here all week. So anyway, we made it out to the farm again on Saturday. Here is a game camera pic of the three of us with Mz. VRWC, who dropped in on us from out of town:

Photos By Trail Camera

And, Jennifer managed to catch me goofing off in front of her camera. If you can imagine that.

Kilt Vogue

Dance, dance, fashion, baby. Work it, move that thing, crazy. But, not all the kilted pics are of me goofing off.

Photos By Trail Camera

Alright, that one is actually from last week. And, maybe I was goofing off for most of this weeks pics.

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And just for funz, here’s an almost nightmarish game camera pic of Jennifer apparently getting ready for her impending machete massacre.

Photos By Trail Camera

There are reasons I want her at my back for the zombie apocalypse. So, we’re now well into the final week of KTKC 2013, and the donation totals are honestly looking pretty sad right now. Before I go any further, I want to send out a *huge* thanks to the few of you who have made donations to date. To the rest of you, come on, don’t make me call you bitches! You can’t let me finish this deal in seventh place! The KTKC crew is cumulatively not doing as well as we had hoped, but my recorded total is under $300 right now. Please don’t let it end like this. Hit the link and give to the cause as you can. I know that I originally set the donation goal unrealistically high, and I didn’t really expect to drag in totals like that, but I absolutely expected to top last year’s total of $2,263, at the very least. But, we’re not done yet. As long as you get your donations in by Monday, we can still do this. Again, here’s the link. Let’s kick cancer together!

Guns and Coffee?

I’m not going to bother linking to everyone in this post, but it seems like every gun blogger and his or her dog has weighed in on the non-committal letter from Starbutts concerning company policy on the carrying of guns. Here’s a link to the letter from the CEO, if you don’t have navel lint to gaze at or grass to watch growing, or sand to count, or any other more gainful thing to do with your time. Otherwise, I’ll summarize the new ‘policy’ for you:

Starbutts managment has decided that they don’t want to be a soapbox for the gun debate. They just want to sell bad coffee. They aren’t going to put up gun buster signs, and their “partners,” i.e. minimum-wage employees, won’t ask you to leave or refuse you service, but they would really prefer that you not come to their establishment armed. They won’t call the cops or anything, “but come on, guys! Please?”

In my home state, as well as many others, a business can put up a sign. If they don’t want guns in their establishment, they may post a sign that is “clearly visible at the entrance.” If you ignore this sign and enter anyway, you are not breaking the law anyway. If any worker at the establishment happens to notice your gun and if they then happen to give a trickle of whiz that you have ignored the sign, they may at that point ask you to vacate the premises. You still have not fallen afoul of the law if you turn heel at this point and find something better to do. If however, at this point you refuse to leave, they may call the police and you may be held liable for trespassing. In other words, there are a lot of ‘ifs’ to get through in order to make it illegal to carry a gun on private property here. What does that all mean for Starbutts and their new “policy” you might ask. Not so much as a hill of beans. Not even overpriced, former coffee beans that have the flavor completely roasted out of them.

And, what does this all mean to me? Just a little less than the aforementioned hill of tortured beans. I’ma tellya why too! Years ago, I started ordering my coffee beans online from these guys, mostly because none of the local groceries carried good coffee. CCM Coffee ships their coffee within 24-hours of roasting it, so it all tastes fresh and fantastic. You typically want to consume your coffee within a week or two of roasting it for the best flavor. For perspective, your typical canned coffee was roasted sometime since the Pleistocene. I only ordered a pound or two at a time because we couldn’t drink it before it went stale if I ordered it at higher quantities for a discount. Then, I started ordering green coffee beans in quantity, and home roasting in small volume to meet our coffee drinking needs. At this point, there’s a frou frou grocery store within walking distance of our home that has a couple dozen varieties of high-quality coffee (far better quality than Starbutts uses), reasonably priced; so I’ve pretty well fallen out of home roasting anymore.

The whole coffee beans go into a burr grinder, of which we have two (two is one, one is none). When it’s precisely ground to spec, it gets brewed with filtered water in our Briel Domus Uno espresso machine. Incidentally, Starbutts used to use good Briel machines, until they replaced them all with automatics once they found that a typical, minimum-wage barista can’t run a good machine reliably, even though I’m pretty sure I could train my Siamese to do it. Sometimes I’ll sweeten with a touch of raw agave nectar, and/or add a splash of milk, cold or steamed, depending on my mood. I usually drink it black. If you tell an average, knuckle-dragging barista that you want a double or triple shot of strait espresso, they will likely look at you like you just sprouted horns. Plus, I may or may not get dressed before I have my coffee. Try that at Starbutts!

Ten bucks will get you a pound of coffee that will make approximately fifty espresso shots, if I’m guestimating right. You won’t use a gallon of milk before it goes bad if this is all you do with it. A quart-sized bottle of agave nectar is about seven bucks and lasts me six months. Figure $.20 per shot on the beans and maybe a penny to sweeten your drink. Even if you go triple shot, with milk, you’re looking at well under a buck for a latte. Needless to say, I’m not spending money at coffee shops. Between equipment cost (~$300-$500 for a decent machine, plus ~$50 for a grinder) prorated over the years it will last (current setup here has been running fine for over five years so far) and expendable supplies (see above), it’s pennies on the dollar to brew at home as compared to going out for coffee. Plus, you get a far superior cup of joe.

Over the last few years, when the troops were rallied to support Starbutts for their refusal to ban us for our guns and to make up for their loss of business on the antis boycott, Jennifer and I would begrudgingly wander into the corner coffee shop and spend $20 on their crap as an act of solidarity. I can confidently say that Starbutts won’t be getting our $20 a year anymore. Boy, that’ll hurt! With the amounts I know other people are spending on coffee, and how those green and white signs seem to sprout out of the ground like weeds, they aren’t going to miss our $20, and we won’t miss their coffee. I know that some people are getting a little more worked up about this than others. I just don’t see it as much of an issue, one way or another, on any given level. Oh and, we’re still doing Kilted To Kick Cancer. Please take a minute and go donate here. Thanks you!

KTKC 2013 – Day 16 – Hunting and Scouting

Click here to donate to my KTKC fund.

Photos By Trail Camera

Deer Archery season starts on October 1, along with Fall Turkey and Rabbit season. Squirrels are in season currently. Jennifer and I decided to do some pre-season scouting on Saturday. We stopped at Tractor Supply to buy some salt licks for the deer. It’s a little late in the season for this, and the bucks have long since eaten the last mineral lick as their antlers have grown in this spring and summer. A four-pound mineral lick, about the size of a brick, costs around $5 at the local sporting goods store. By comparison, a fifty-pound block is about the same price at Tractor Supply. They had a few variations, so I got a plain white block, a sulfur block, and a trace mineral block. We shall see what the deer like the most.

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I put small game heads on my arrows, in case we crossed paths with any squirrels, and finally got to try my bow sling that Tanner Hann from Slogan Outdoors hooked me up with.* I may have to write a fuller review of this excellent product, but I thought I would mention it here.

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From the pictures we collected on the game camera, it looks like the deer herd is at least twice as big as it was last year, with several bucks, quite a few does, and a couple of fawns and yearlings.

Photos By Trail Camera

If I understand correctly, we’re going to want to cull out a buck or two to keep the male to female proportion properly balanced. Here’s the young one that looks like good stock to leave for next year:

Photos By Trail Camera

It’s so funny how they sometimes seem to pose for the camera.

Photos By Trail Camera

Of course, there are babies.

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Daaawwwww! Almost too cute to eat!

Photos By Trail Camera

And, one gregarious turkey.

Photos By Trail Camera

Last year and the year before, I may have fudged the kilt thing once or twice. This year, I’ve made a hard and fast commitment to not wear pants for the month.

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In the spring, the ticks and poison ivy were so bad that there was no way I was going out with uncovered skin. So, I donned my black leggings under my 5.11 TDK and combat boots. This had mixed results. My cousins had mowed and baled in the west field, but it’s been so rainy that the grass has grown up tall and thick again.

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Much of the grass is actually taller than the round bales at this point. And, the stickers are terrible this year.

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Jennifer and I picked no fewer than a jillion stickers out of our clothing. Incidentally, they stick really well to leggings under a kilt.

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The golden orb weavers have been prolific this year, guarding their distinctive webs with the Jacob’s Ladder zig-zag up the center.

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We’re also seeing a whole lot more thistles than in previous years. They were in full bloom this weekend.

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We spotted this on the ground. Does that look like a pheasant feather to you?

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I hadn’t ever seen pheasants on the property, but I wouldn’t rule it out completely. Overall, I’d say it was a good trip, and I’m feeling quite optimistic for deer season here in a couple of weeks.

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The Slogan Outdoor sling performed exactly as I have wished for a bow sling. It was comfortable and secure for all of our hiking. The stabilizer fell off my bow at some point in time. I knew that the chances of finding it in the grass were slim to none, so I ordered a replacement on Amazon.

Again, please do support me on the Kilted To Kick Cancer drive to fight male-specific cancers. Click here to donate. And, huge thanks to those of you who have already so generously donated!

*Tanner at Slogan provided the sling at no cost, for the purpose of review.

KTKC 2013 – Day 13. Now With More Prizes!

Hello friends. I’m slowly but steadily falling behind the pack on the whole KTKC contest. So, please do visit my donation page and help a brother out! I have to level with you though. This year has been a tough one, budget wise. It seems like we’ve only just squeaked by to get the bills paid and food on the table this year. It really hasn’t left much room for toys and dates and stuff. I’m not seeking sympathy or personal contributions though. I only tell you this to frame where we are right now. Recently, there was an incident with a couple of checks that charged back to our account to the tune of 400 some-odd dollars plus fees. Couple that with the fact that we just upgraded our cell phones because I thought mine was wearing out when they were servicing a local tower for a few weeks. Thank God, we aren’t the kind of people who only have a couple day’s worth of groceries! Consequently, the last couple of weeks have been a bit of a personal challenge. I would really like to be far more active and aggressive with KTKC this year, but it’s hard to get competitive with charity collections when I’m preoccupied with getting bills reconciled and groceries paid for. Alright, now that I’ve gotten that unpleasantness off my chest, let’s get to stuff that’s more entertaining than my stupid sob-story!

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I had a gift card to a local restaurant and we had free movie passes, so last Friday I took Jennifer out for a lovely even if cliched dinner and a movie. Without a cent out of my own wallet. Score! The food was great. The knucklehead that I had take our picture couldn’t hold the camera still though. Sorry about the blurriness. After dinner, we went and saw Riddick. It was campy and fun, and I’m glad I didn’t pay real money to see it. The nickel review of it is in the first ten minutes we see Riddick fight pterodactyls, hyena-dogs, chicken-scorpions and eels. Throw in some bounty hunters, one of which is Katee Sackhoff playing Starbuck yet again. Lather, rinse, repeat for two hours. So, here’s a picture when I was at church for choir practice:

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The other members of the choir have been really funny. On Sunday morning, a couple of the other basses commented on the Alt.Kilt that I was wearing that morning.

“I like your kilt,” noted the one.

“Yes, very handsome,” reflected the other.

They are both older gentlemen, probably in their sixties, if I had to guess. I thanked them for their compliments and explained what I was doing with KTKC. In fact, contrasting the stories I read about other people and their experience wearing kilts with my own experiences makes me think that I live in the most tolerant and accepting town in the world.

And prizes! Yesterday I announced several prizes for donors. They break down like this:

1 – I will name one of my main holster models after my top donor from 2013. If you win and want it named for your screen name, we can do that. If you want to name it after your Gramps who was just a great guy, we can do that as well. Whatever.

2 – If you put me in first, second, or third place in the contest I will pass the prize package on to you, the donors. I will likely break up the prize package and draw for individual items out of it. So, that will amount to:
A – a $200 gift certificate from Brownell‘s
Ruger 22/45 Lite from Virginia Arms Company
Dragon Leatherworks Classic custom holster for S&W M&P9 or M&P40.
or B – a $200 gift certificate from Brownell‘s
a $250 gift certificate from Black Hills Ammunition
Dragon Leatherworks Classic custom holster for Glock 17/19 and variants
or C – a $200 gift certificate from Brownell‘s
a $250 gift certificate from Atlanta Arms
A 15-degree black Hidden Stitch Pancake holster for a government 1911 and a matching pocket holster for a snubby revolver made by yours truly! I would likely keep the pair together for a giveaway.
And, I must once more level with you here. I know from experience that I can spend $200 at Brownell’s just like that. *snapping fingers* There are two Ruger 22/45s in the stable, and a third would be most welcome here. Additionally, I could very much make use of the $250 from either Black Hills or Atlanta Arms. However, I feel like passing them on is the right thing to do this time. As to the holsters, Dennis’ stuff has come through my house before, and I don’t mind it happening again. He may be my nemesis, but we’re still friendly. It would be really easy to win my own holsters and just not make them, but someone out there could surely use a 1911 and snubby holster pair.

And, today’s announcement of prize 3 – Custom steel pauldrons featured in last year’s KTKC payout. Last year, I promised to spend a day at the range in a dress. I have some of those pictures posted here. We didn’t get nearly as many pics as intended, but I’d like to draw your attention to the pauldrons that I wore with the dress.

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Who is that handsome man in the slinky black dress, sneering at the camera? His wife looks pretty awesome there too!

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These are hand made from carbon steel. when I acquired them, one had been spray painted gray, and I stripped the paint off the outside. They are rivited to strips of backing leather. I made and attached the black leather straps with red stitching.

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I built the liners which are a combination of a very soft wool knit and black suede. They are secured to the inside of the pauldrons with a heavy duty Velcro. These insulate very well so the pauldrons are comfortable to wear even over bare skin when it is cold or hot out.

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So, are you into SCA and want to fill out your armor collection? Want to put these on to wear around the house when your daughter is bringing a date home for the intimidation factor? Maybe just keep these around as a memento to commemorate what a total goob I am? It’s all up to you! For any of the above mentioned prizes, every $10 donated gets a ticket in the drawing. If you want to donate to the cause in my name, but you don’t want me to send you my crap, please do tell me so.

Now, you all remember Jennifer‘s video of shooting the Barrett wearing skin-tight PVC? We’ve been talking and conniving. I’d like to top that video. Jennifer has been hitting the gym so she’ll feel like she’s fit enough for it. I hope that doesn’t get me in trouble. I’ve been looking at sexy latex clothing, because shined latex is way sexier than PVC even, and thinking about what she could do on video while wearing it. But frankly, at the rate we’re going, we’ll be struggling to top $500 in donations under my name this year. We’re not doing a video for that kind of money. I believe we set the bar at $2,000 last year? Yeah, it’s going to have to look at least like that this year for us to seriously consider doing another sexy video.

A Great Commercial

Here at the Evyl Robot Empyre, we don’t get TV. When the broadcasters all went digital, we never got a box. I discovered that out TV tuner on the HTPC wasn’t compatible with Windows 7 about six months after I installed Windows 7, so then we cancelled the cable. When we watch TV at other people’s homes, I’m always entertained by seeing new commercials. So, if you’ve seen this one before, please forgive my ignorance.

Teen Bot and I were enjoying our lunch today and catching some Slow Mo Guys on YouTube. Before our selected video began, we were drawn in by the first few seconds of the following commercial and had to watch the whole thing. It really is worth it:

Our friend Phlegmmy reviewed the sister product, Trap-a-crap on her blog. I had previously heard of Poo Pourri and Trap-a-Crap from The Worst Things for Sale. The author there poo-poos the product, which shows that he’s never tried it.

All kidding aside, this is some top-notch advertising. The big name advertisers on YouTube show a 30-second or so commercial to a captive audience prior to the desired video whereas the smaller advertisers allow you to skip the ad after five seconds. Many advertisers don’t get it and their ads are not interesting enough to watch beyond the required time. The clever ones carefully use that five seconds to really grab your attention so they can show you a full two minute commercial. If a marketing department comes up with a production that’s worth two minutes of my attention, the least I can do is watch it. If their production convinces me to buy the product, the free market wins.

KTKC 2013 – Kitties and Prizes!

Seven years ago, Jennifer brought home a half-starved, flea-ridden, hair-challenged thing that remotely resembled a kitten. He was not yet weaned, but was wandering aimlessly amongst the construction at her office. I must admit that I was displeased.

“I couldn’t just leave him there to die,” she cried to me.

She nursed him to health and now he’s about 18-lbs of devotion to mama. For the last seven years, he’s been terrified of me. I’ve always been kind to him, as I tend to be to all animals, but I was the embodiment of scary to Jennifer’s cat. Sure, he’s let his guard down from time to time, but 99.9% of the time, he doesn’t want anything to do with me. Until just the last couple of weeks. All of a sudden, I’m alright…

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I don’t know what’s gotten into him. Maybe he just likes the kilt. This kilt, incidentally, is the Alt.Kilt that I ordered for myself for Christmas. If you are in the market for a nice non-traditional kilt, I will recommend them quite heartily. They know their craft well, and make beautiful garments.

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But enough about cats and kilts. You want to hear about prizes. Thus far, I have not received a lot of donations in this year’s KTKC drive. I know the economy is rough, and I know that other bloggers may have enticing giveaways of their own. If you lovely people put me in the top three in the KTKC contest; that is to say, that if you make me a prize winner again this year, I will give the prize package away to you. For ever $10 donated, you get a ticket in the drawing. If I win a pistol and your name gets drawn, you get the pistol. If I win a $250 gift certificate for ammo and your name gets drawn, you get ammo. A couple of my holsters are in this giveaway. If I win my own holsters and your name gets drawn… …you get the idea. Additionally, I intend to name one of my main holster models after my top donor this year. So far, it shall be known as the Ed. I will use your first name if you prefer, or your full name, or whatever. Heck, maybe I’ll have a wild hair and build you said custom holster to go with it. You could have the holster bearing your name, and the first one made bearing your name. These are not the only things that I’m offering this year, and I’ll get to the other stuff soon. 😉

A Queer Mix of Tech

When we pick up these new smart devices, i.e. smartphones and tablets, one thing often missing is they keyboard.  When I upgraded from my Epic 4G to my S III, I sorely missed the keyboard at first.  I have since learned to adjust to the difference, but at first, I vowed to find a solution to have a physical keyboard for the phone.  Curious. 

I am currently typing this entry on an IBM M keyboard that I acquired at a junk store some time back.  I have it attached to my Samsung Galaxy S III phone by way or a PS3 to USB adapter plugged into a USB to Micro USB adapter.  I had my doubts that this would work, but I had to give it a whirl.  These are arguably the finest keyboards ever made, and they do make a very satisfying ‘click’ with each keystroke.  This is one of the later units in the production, being a 1996 model.  Despite it being nearly twenty years old, it seems to be doing quite well at its job, even on the Android phone.  This particular model even has the little pencil eraser mouse like laptops did in the ’90s. 

Obviously, this is not a ‘solution’ to the keyboard issue, as this is hardly a portable device, and would do far better as a bludgeoning weapon.  If I’m going to sit down with this much hardware to plunk out a blog entry, I will more than likely use my laptop.  Incidentally, my laptop doesn’t weigh much more than the M.  Anyway, this was just too funny not to share.  I’ll likely edit the video and add it to the text later. 

And, with the magic of editing…

I hope you enjoyed the video too. Please remind me to get some kilted pics posted tomorrow. I need to start announcing some of the fabulous prizes we’re giving away from the Evyl Robot Empyre. And, if you haven’t yet, please do donate to the cause here.

Answers When Someone Asks What’s Under The Kilt…

We’re in Day 5 of KTKC, and I was going to upload some pics for you. But, the internet connection speed sucks around here today. So, no pics. I’ll try to make it up to you later. Please do donate to the cause, and here is a list of fun things to say to those who have the gall to ask about the underwear situation with a kilt.

Nothing is worn, everything is in perfect working order.
No underwear. Thought it was such a nice day I’d take the boys our for a walk
My back-up claymore.
A second, even smaller kilt.
Just my friend, and his buddies who are a couple of nuts!
A few English peasant girls.
At the moment, grass. Soon there will be pavement.
The “usual.”
All the nasty stories you can only read about on the internet.
String. I kind of had to tie it up so it didn’t hang below the kilt.
Good thing I got a clean shave. Want to see?
It’s the smallest airport in the world…..2 hangars and a night fighter.
Good girls don’t ask and bad girls just check for themselves.
Latex. (keep them guessing)
FREEDOM!
Haggis.
A katana. Didn’t you see “The Highlander?”
Nothing but lipstick.
The emperor’s new underwear.
The loch ness monster.
Why, Did something fall off?
If you don’t know by now, what’s the use of me telling you?
A lacy, pink thong with cute little bows.
Same as you’ve got under your hat.
A lady doesn’t ask and a gentleman doesn’t tell!
Socks and boots.
The future of Scotland.
My feet.
If you were man enough to wear a kilt, what would you wear under it?
Can you keep a secret? Yeah, so can I.
Why would you ask anyone about their underwear?
Got warm hands?
Answers are free, demonstrations are gonna cost you.
Depends… not the adult diapers, but on the situation.
I killed the last man who asked me that question.
Just what God graced me with.
What’s under your pants/dress/skirt?
Usually it’s the ladies who ask that question.. you know I’m straight, right buddy?
How badly do you want to know?
You guess!
A blue ribbon.

I hope you found these amusing. Of course, nobody is laughing at prostate or testicular cancer. Again, I would greatly appreciate it if you could spare a little for KTKC. Thanks!

p.s. – My connection is so bad right now that I can’t even preview any of this. So, if something is broken, I apologize in advance.