Overall impression:

In a nutshell, this movie was made to make Sylvester Stallone feel like a bad-ass action hero one last time before his 65th birthday. The previews boast of a cast full of past and present action movie actors. In reality, several of those were no more than brief cameos. The screenplay was co-written by Stallone, who also co-produced, directed, and starred in the film. Yeah, this flick was basically his way of junk-greasing his own ego. It looks like his last hurrah, and seems like he wanted to take out as many action actors as he could with him. I shall henceforth refer to the film as “The Expendable Movie”.

What Happens:

The exhaustive storyline is that a group of elite-force type mercenaries (The Expendables) are contracted to overthrow a dictator of a banana republic (El General). Said dictator is largely a puppet leader backed by a jilted CIA agent gone drug lord. Stallone and another member of The Expendables scout out the island to determine whether the job pays well enough for the work that it will take to complete. In the process, they meet the beautiful daughter of the General and are found out by the bad guys. They leave a swath of fire-storm fed destruction across the island and determine that the job is not worth the money. Once back at home, Stallone has a pang of conscience and decides that he must save the girl. Meanwhile, an unstable Dolph Lundgren who was just excused from The Expendables is contracted by the General and the former CIA dude to infiltrate and exterminate his former boss, Stallone. A fight on home turf ensues ending in the apparent death of Lundgren’s character. With his last breath, he repents to Stallone and tells him everything. Meanwhile, Jason Statham’s character discovers that his girlfriend has taken to another man in his most recent, month long, mysterious absence. Stallone announces that he is going back to the island and nobody else needs to feel obligated to do so. Predictably, the entire team assembles to aid his invasion. On their second trip to the island, they load everything up with C4 (which magically appears in armloads when they are ready to administer it), and kill bad guys with an assortment of weapons that share a triangular range between standard U.S.G.I.-, gun range mall ninja, and silly exaggeration of Future Weapons. There’s quite a bit of a fist fight between Stallone and Steve Austin. When our heroes are cornered between the ex-CIA’s men and the General’s soldiers, the General himself makes a statement (directly over them no less) to his men that he’s had a change of heart and plans on kicking out the Americans that have oppressed them (presumably CIA dude and his cronies). Former CIA dude chose this moment to assassinate the General, and all hell breaks loose. The Expendables are caught in a three-way battle between the soldiers and the American gang. This is when Stallone pulls out a rather large detonator switch (which must have been uncomfortably hidden in an orifice somewhere), and the rest of the movie is basically explosions, burning puddles of fuel, and raw body count. In the end, our heroes have lost no men (including Lundgren, who has a miraculous recovery and turns back to the proverbial Light Side of The Force), and Stallone saves the day. The singular surprise in the ‘plot’ is that he didn’t kiss the girl when he was leaving the island, but did promise that he would return. She was presumably left behind to cure the ills of her home with her pure heart and wise leadership. Upon their return, Statham finds that his replacement has hit his ex-girlfriend. So, he goes to the playground and beats him up along with the other bullies. That’s about it. After about the first ten minutes of set up, there are no surprises, but the entire screenplay kind of flows in all the most obvious directions. Well, besides Stallone not making out with a woman a third of his age – I really didn’t see that coming, given the context of his character.

Notable Characters:

Sylvester Stallone has never been an attractive man, in my opinion. But, he has really not aged well. His characteristic saggy eyes, crooked nose, and Novocain lip are even more pronounced in The Expendable Movie. In the film, Sly plays Barney Ross, leader of the mercenaries. He’s a caricature of a big action hero, with old skin stretched over it. He’s a tattooed, motorcycling, jewelry-wearing, gun blasting bad boy who can pull himself out of the water into a lifting-off airplane by its door-frame while wearing body armor. He dual-wields a pair of 1911s and has a SA revolver which he carries in a SOB holster which he’ll whip out to palm-fan a last-resort burst of lead at the bad guy. Carrying his M4 rifle, as with his 1911s, he aimlessly, carelessly, and wildly waves the muzzle around. Rarely does he ever appear to look for a sight picture or even pretend to exercise any kind of trigger control. This is of course consistent with Stallone’s typical, sociopathic, Hollyweird liberal, double standard on guns – even though he’s good enough to carry a gun, nobody else is. Although in his mid-60’s, it takes help from multiple men for Steve Austin overpower the grunting and snorting Stallone. Many of the other characters spend much of the movie talking about how big and bad he is. This was actually some of the better acting that I’ve seen from Stallone, which isn’t saying much.

Bruce Willis, playing Mr. Church meets with Stallone and Arnold Schwartzenegger playing Trench for a short scene towards the beginning of the film. Church presumably represents the CIA and wants to hire a team of mercenaries to flush the island dictator. Trench is the leader of a rival team. Church wanted to meet with the two of them to determine who would be best for the job. There was a little playful banter between Stallone and The Governator, and Willis got in a few pointed threatening statements, but that was about it for these two big names in the film. I imagine that Stallone dragged on the pants leg of each of these men for weeks until they relented and agreed to do the uncredited but much flaunted cameo.

Getting back to shockingly less than absolutely terrible acting, Jason Statham really opened up his acting abilities in this film and made three facial expressions instead of his standard one! In different scenes, he managed to look pissed off (as we’ve come to expect) and hurt, and happy! Statham played Lee Christmas, a knife-flinging brawler who challenged his knife throwing against Stallone’s single-action shooting multiple times during the movie.

Jet Li played Ying Yang (I know, I know – who the hell named these characters anyway). Ying Yang is predictably the martial arts expert in The Expendables who uses caricatured Kung-Fu motions for every action (including the requisite swishing sound effects) throughout the film. He is obsessive about his diminutive stature and uses it as an argument that he should be paid more than the other mercenaries. Although his martial arts are impressive, he often finds himself helpless against the brute force of the larger characters. Although surrounded by men taller than himself, he was the giant if you count acting abilities. I’m saddened that Li even agreed to do this insulting role. He is so much more talented an actor than that.

Dolph Lundgren plays Gunner Jensen, who gets fired from The Expendables for acting recklessly and outside of the group’s code of ethics. Upon dismissal, he ominously tells Stallone that he won’t cause any trouble because he’s “a nice guy”. Gunner Jensen has a particular beef with the diminutive Ying Yang. Gunner is probably the character with the least surprises, including his betrayal and death, and his resurrection and repentance in the end.

Eric Roberts plays James Monroe, a two-dimensional former CIA agent gone cocaine drug lord. He operates the island using a team of American thugs who influence the military force on the island to keep the people in submission.

Steve Austin plays Monroe’s hired muscle, named Paine (I know – again with the silly names). He does a lot of posturing and head beating in the movie until he falls into a puddle of burning jet fuel in his final fight.

David Zayas plays General Garza, who is the only character in the film with an actual internal conflict. After years of oppressing his people, first on his own and then under the thumb of Monroe and the other Americans, he decides that his pure-hearted daughter was right after all. He comes around to an upright moral position just before his demise, for a Darth Vader-esque death.

Giselle itié plays the beautiful, kind daughter of the general. In her one-track mind, she believes in good triumphing over evil even in the worst of odds. She refuses to flee the island, thinking that she can make a difference with her presence.

Mickey Rourke plays Tool, the lovable, wise womanizing tattoo artist that gives council to The Expendables.

And, I’ve saved the best character for last: Terry Crews plays Hale Caesar, who is the support character for the most important character, his AA-12 shotgun, which nobody has heard of despite being a 28-year-old design. In The Expendable Movie, the AA-12 is louder and more devastating than any other weapon, including M4’s, AK47’s, RPG’s, hand grenades, and belt-fed machine guns. It shoots a mythical, 12-gauge round that stabilizes with spring-loaded tail fins, that explodes upon impact. This fully-automatic shotgun fired hundreds of explosive rounds from only two drum magazines and was light enough that Caesar was able to haul it all over the jungle and through the palace, and finally had to drop it to make his escape from the exploding palace.

Final thought:

Don’t pay full-price to see The Expendable Movie. Wait until it’s in the dollar theaters, or out on rental. Make sure you are boozed up first. This flick would be fun to watch with a group that was pretty well buzzed. Other than that, it’s kind of a waste of time and money.

BEFORE THE ADDRESS -

OK. First of all, it’s a quarter till the speech comes on. I only thought it fitting to watch on Fox. I mean, come on, right? So, anyhoo… It’s so freaking rare that I ever watch anything broadcast, it’s such a novelty that I turned on the TV ten minutes ago.

American Idol is on. What kind of ***t is this?!?!?!???!? I know that some people electively watch this garbage, but it’s seriously mundane! How could someone consciously subject them to this unless they are waiting for the next show to come on in twenty-five minutes? (Please, please don’t answer that.)

All the ’singers’ sound the same. I mean – THE. SAME. I know that there are styles that come and go, but be they men or women, boys or girls, they all sound EXACTLY the same! When they find out that they are going to Hollyweird, they flap their wrists in a frenzy as they fan away their tears. WTF is that?!?!?!

I mean they all that that little ‘Awawawawawa’ trill in their voices. If I had EVER and I mean EEEVVVEEERRRR performed any kind of music like that in my lifetime, I would have wound up with a teacher’s foot in my a-hole. The girls sing low, the boys sing high… Come to think of it, pop music hasn’t really changed much in the last twenty-five or so years…

I kind of like commercials as rarely as I ever see them anymore. Hyundai… *Well, that news girl is kind of hot – in a square-jawed, bite-it-off sort of severe way.* AI is back. She’s wearing PINK eyeshadow. I think her shorts are wider than they are long. Did I go to sleep normal and wake up a Puritan or am I just getting old in my non-TV-watching way? *This chick is TERRIBLE!*

The British dude is mean. She was bad, but she wasn’t abusively bad. Yeeeeeaaaahhhh… Melissa is getting drunk tonight. I bet she gives it up to the first dude that shows interest. That’s just sad. Simon! That’s his name!

Yup. This is tarded – all over again. I’m really ready for this crap to be over. But, this cancer chick is wearing a cute skirt. So, do they always show you some underdog that you have to feel sorry for on this God-forsaken show? Leukemia. Is that how that’s spelled? I feel compelled by her singing, but I know that it’s only that I feel sorry for her. Well, and she’s not doing the ‘Awawawawawa’ thing so much. Crap. They’re going to send her. Not even Simon was mean to her. Yup. Predictable.

I can honestly see why people watch this garbage. Leukemia girl is going to Hollyweird with all the other ‘Awawawawwawa’ losers! Yay! So, there’s a commercial break, and I need to put the kiddo to bed. Now that I’m all geared up for shallow, glitzy shows of formulaic showmanship, I’ll be ready for the teleprompter’s state of the onion address! BRB!

THE ADDRESS -

Okie dokie. I’m baaaaaack! I got the kid in bed, and got my booze refill. Tonight, it’s Fighting Cock. Never heard of the stuff before, but it’s cheaper than the regular stuff and it just sounds redneck. On the tube, they’re showing all the politicos, commontatos, stuffed shirts, and talking heads. You know, we should ship all those people to another planet along with all the telephone cleaner type people so we can get on with life.

Oh, oh! Here HE comes! *clapping* *commontation* “mumble, mumble” Apparently, there’s not teleprompter in the crowd. I think I heard him say, “Hey, hey, hey!” Wow! What an orator! I shouldn’t get judgmental yet. He’ll give me plenty of ammo before this is over…

Unrelated note – I’m missing buttons. I was going to link ‘Fighting Cock’ to the Fighting Cock website, fightingcock.com, but I don’t have buttons! That’s weird! I’ll have to check and see if my wordpress installation is jacked up or something…

*Shaking hands* *clapping* *waving* “Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” “Thank YOU! Thank you.” *San Fran Nan introducing* *clapping* *clapping* “Thank you.” *clapping* You know, the first ten minutes could have been skipped. I just got to see Leukemia Girl and Terets (sp?) Boy sent to Hollyweird.. Oh, he’s reading his teleprompter!

*Stating the obvious…* *Trying to sound ironic…* *Citing history…* *Talking about Civil Rights…* *Speaking of the American Way, in a roundabout way, trying to claim some sort of credit…* *Trying to sound like Reagan…* *Blaming the last guy.*

I think it’s funny that he’s talking about how much debt we WERE in when he took office. That’s actually really freaking hilarious! “One in ten people can’t find work” That’s me, Mr. Obama! I’ve decided to make my own work! Tee hee! *he KNOWS our struggles and anxieties!* Ooooooooooooo! *He’s touching our hearts and appealing to our emotions.* (He doesn’t know this robot very well…) Now, he thinks he knows what we want and feel, and what we’re tired of. What he doesn’t realize is that we are just tired of hyper-leftism. Let’s get rid of big government, and I think we’ll all be happier.

Crap. I’m going to have to take a break. I’m only fifteen minutes in, and the kybard is about to catch on fire. His voice is making me try to misspell! BRB. “Never more hopeful about this nations bla bla bla than tonight.” *clapping* “Despite…” Srsly, BRB.

Well, I stepped out during the ’saved or created’ bit, and bit my tongue, and came in to clapping. Now, he’s talking about how he’s going to shore up small businesses. I’m not impressed. Tax incentive for businesses to develop new stuff. Yeah. He’s now talking New Deal crap. If a 60-year-old accountant loses his job, he’s not going to go to work building a highway. I’m not going to go to work building a new highway. That’s not my skill set. He’s talking about building up blue-collar labor. Gobama. I guess. “Werr gonna give these jobs to Americans,” he says. Or, the teleprompter says, anyway. “Who is pulling those strings?” I wonder.

He’s demanding a bill. He better not claim ’saving or creating’ my job. That’s all I’m trying to say. He’s again blaming the last administration.

That’s a lot of gray hair that wasn’t there this time last year. This job is killing our Undocumented Commander in Chief. I’m shocked at all the yes-men cheering in the crowd. They must have cherry-picked them. He’s making more promises he can’t deliver on. That kind of exemplifies this administration. “I’m going to make sure that everyone has affordable, high-quality healthcare. Watch me turn this water into wine.” Bla, bla, bla…

Blaming the former administration again. That’s getting really old. Blaming financial institutions. Nancy Pelosi looks like a cross between Golum and a chimpanzee. Joe Biden must have gotten botox this week. I think both of them did, actually. Now he’s talking about free energy and curing cancer. Nope. He’s not a megalomaniac. Not at all. “More jobs. Clean jobs. Green jobs.”

So much for Valentine’s Day. I’m sorry, Jenni. I wanted it to be something special. So much for that. It looks painful when Joe and Nancy smile. I expect their faces to crack off behind Teh One!. “Overwhelming scientific evidence on Climate Change.” Except for the fact that it’s not getting any warmer. And, the fact that the ‘evidence’ is apparently fabricated. But, we’re going to fix it anyway! And, we’re going to export! Even though they don’t WANT our goods. We’re going to DOUBLE our exports, apparently! –to other countries that don’t want our crap. –with a new committee! –seeking AGGRESSIVELY! Oooooooooo!

We’re going to make sure our trade partners play by the rules! *giving the camera the ‘loser’ symbol* We’re going to invest in skills and education. Does that mean that he’s going to re-educate me? NOW, they’re only going to reward success. No longer is this administration going to reward failure. NO MORE!!!!! *clapping* Now, he’s prattling about the success of our children. We better shore up their success, since they owe a f***ing LOT OF MONEY!!!! Money for schools! *yes-men applaud standing.*

$10,000 towards college? ZOMG! That pays for BOOKS! Yay! If you go into the bureaucracy, you don’t pay for skoolz! Now, he’s feeling the middle class through the Biden. “Biden mad! Biden smash!” Now, we’re talking about refinancing.

Yes, we’ve had some bank sending us threatening letters saying that we need to refinance. But, we’re the RESPONSIBLE people. We bought a modest house at a good interest rate, and we’re getting letters saying that we need to refinance. They word it like we aren’t in compliance. But, I digress…

He didn’t choose to tackle this issue ’cause it’s good politics. Healthcare, healthcare… *close up of the first Klingon bride* “She gets embarrassed.” I would too, Barry. I would too. They’re going to bring down the deficit by ONE TRILLION dollars over the next two decades! OMG!!!11!!!! If they could do three times that in the next three years, that would put us back to before the dumbass got elected!

Now, he’s talking doomsday if we don’t do what he says. Too bad he doesn’t have an actual doomsday device to hold us ransom. Healthcare, healthcare… He’s claiming that the doctorses and nurseseses like his plan. He’s saying that he’s open to other ideas. But, we know how this administration treats alternative ideas. *clapping, oh the mindless clapping…* “massive fiscal hole in which we find ourselves” …yeah, after spending like no administration since Ramesis II. (Still blaming the last administration.)

(Still blaming the last administration.) “BS, BS, BS, BS…” (still blaming the last administration.) Now, he’s acting like he feels for us commonfolk serfs again. Now, he’s going to freeze federal spending for three years, except for all the programs. Now, they’re going to go through the budget line by line, page by page. (not like they have for the bills past.) (Blaming the previous administration yet again.) “Bi-partisanship.” I really hate that word. It’s the new Washington buzz-word. (Blaming Bush again.)

NOW, he’s a proponent of pay-as-you-go. I wonder where that was in the first year… Now, he’s misrepresenting AND blaming the previous administration. NOW, he wants to try ’something new.’ I thought that was the bullet-point of his campaign. Then, it was just Chicago-style, deep-dish politics, right? But NOW, NOW – it’s going to be something new. That’s what he came to Washington to do. He waited a year to do it… He’s excluded lobbyists from his club (except for the ones he liked – then, he dropped the rope ladder for them).

Now, he’s urging for bi-partisanship, “Democrats and republicans!” Lather, rinse, repeat. Now, he wants transparency in spending. He said that we’d get that a year ago, but he says we’re going to get it now. What shall we get? “Now… …I’m not naive.” No, you’re a bastard child of an American teenage whore in Kenya. Oops. Did I really just write that? Now, he’s trying to go buddy-buddy with the Repubs by “speakin’ to both parties now.” No more grudgeses! Letz just pass all teh billz taht Nancy wantsez too! *nearly whispering* He’s trying to change the tone of American politics here.

Notes the Democratic majority. Addresses the Republicans and gives a guilt trip. He’s going to have a ‘meeting’ with all of them. No doubt, he’ll make them run the gauntlet and then do a keg stand before he’ll let them go home. Better bring your lube, Repubs! It’s going to be a rough ride. *Close-up of that dude named Janet Neopolitan – or whatever his name is* Who would name their son ‘Janet’ anyway? Now, he’s talking about all our boys dying overseas. And, how we’re going to finally send more soldiers to finish the job! We’re going to come together in London – finally! Whew! He finally inspires confidence!

As a candidate, he said he was going to end the war. Some years later, he might actually – that is his promise. We’re going to partner with the Iraqi people to end this war – just like we have been for several years now. The military brass don’t seem impressed, but the yes-men applaud standing. At long last, Obama will sign for more resources for the military. Our troops are going to come home from Iraq so they can go to Afghanistan instead.

What the hell is Michelle wearing? It kind of looks like a purple theater curtain… He’s comparing himself to Reagan again… Now, we’re going to be the leader among the countries and we’re going to punish those that don’t obey us. He accuses the right of things, and then he claims that’s exactly what he’s going to do. WTF is that? (Don’t make fun of him for saying ‘HIV-Aids.’ That’s the way it was written on the teleprompter.) Now, he’s saying that we’re wonderful because of Haiti. Granted, we’re doing some great stuff there, but I don’t think that has anything to do with him or his decisions.

“America must always stand on the side of freedom and human dignity. Always.” (Unless it was the last administration, of course.) Now, he cites the Constitution, as if he gives a s*** about that rag scrap of paper… Strengthened punishment of ‘hate’ crimes. Will repeal laws against gays in the military. The military brass seems unimpressed while the yes-men go wild. Women’s rights. Crowd goes wild. NOW we’re going to enforce immigration. NOW we are. That hasn’t been at the top of the Left’s agenda, but NOW we’re going there.

*Talking about ‘American’ values.* I’m not the only one that doubts his sense of ‘American’ values, am I? Careful ragging on the lobbyists, ‘Bama! Some of them are in your cabinet! “Not everyone believes…” We can change when we deliver YOU to the border! Now, he’s talking about doing what’s best for the next generation. Heh. He’s funny. I wonder if he knows how funny he is… We’re going back to the setbacks of American families this year. Hey Barry, I’ll trade you! I bet I could do a better job than you are! Let’s see if you could do what I am. *Tear-jerking stories and inspirational bromides about us as Americans*

“You don’t quit, and I don’t quit!”

“And God bless the United States of America!”

CONCLUSION -

I’m not sure he actually said anything there. –well, if you read between the lines, some of it had to do with cold-sweats after that election in Mass. I dunno. The talking heads are talking, the yes-men are yessing, and the politicians are politicing now. I kind of think that American Idol was more of an investment than what I just watched. I’m kind of impressed with the way my keyboarding has come along. Even with his fast-talking I think I could have actually transcribed it live if I had really wanted to. Maybe I should try to get a job for court transcription or something. Maybe I should run for office. All the politicians made it, and I think I’ve got a whole lot more to offer than the vast majority of those.

GODWIN’S LAW -

Anybody notice that David Axelrod kind of looks like Adolf Hitler? He ought to go with a shorter haircut and lose the mustache. Maybe I should go into business giving makeovers to politicians. So. Many. Possibilities. I think I’ll stick with the holster gig for now… G’nite, all!

So, the truth comes out. For those of us that read what the IRS had to say about the legislation in the first place, we knew that we would be responsible for ‘paying back’ the ’stimulus’ money at the end of the year, anyway. So, this is not news. Here are some gems in the above article and my comments on them:

And that could force some people to repay what the government gave them.

That who did what?!?!? That mentality really pisses me off! The government didn’t give anybody anything. They simply delayed the inevitable theft that they call income tax. This is the administration ‘giving’ you your own money and expecting to be thanked for the ‘gift’ before they turn around and take it back from you. Many of us have expected no different of the current administration.

Sen. Chuck Grassley of Iowa, the senior Republican on the Senate Finance Committee, called problems with the tax credit “another unfortunate example of what can happen when Congress and the White House rush through legislation like the stimulus without thinking through the consequences.”

No ****, Sherlock.

Separately, the IRS estimated that about 65,000 taxpayers could face penalties for not withholding enough taxes in 2009 because of the Making Work Pay tax credit. However, those taxpayers will be eligible to have the penalty waived, IRS spokeswoman Michelle Eldridge said.

Awe, that’s real sweet of them, isn’t it?

The Low Men in the current administration, including but not limited to San Fran Nan, Bawney Fwank, the ‘Czars’, and basically the entire Obama freak show are scoundrels and knaves. As Bawney Fwank said himself, “We are trying on every front to increase the role of government.” Actually, it was, “We awe twying on ebwy fwont to incwease da woll ov gobewnment.” There. I fixed it. Debacles such as this deal with the IRS withholding tables are par for the course when the government gets its sticky fingers in our personal business. I shall cite Social Security and the USPS as great examples of government involvement. According to the last statement that I got from the SS, if I hold out to retire when I’m 68, my government-imposed retirement plan will pay me about $1,800.00 a month. Given the rate of inflation, what will that be worth in the year 2046? Besides that, I think they’re being quite optimistic with that number, considering the system is basically bankrupt anyway. I like to think of it as the Flushing Toilet Retirement Plan. Yeah, the USPS isn’t doing so hot either, hence the ‘forever stamp‘ and its sliding scale of constant price increase. *Insert slide whistle noise.*

The last time we had a serious recession, we had a great man in the White House, who history remembers as being a great president. I will close with a quote from him.

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’

–Ronald Reagan

And, just for bonus tickles, here’s the most appropriate Beatles song for the subject at hand:

Instinct pointed me to this page on the failblog in an email.

That just about sums up the naivety of the anti-gun crowd. How different is it from this?

For both my readers, I know I’m preaching to the choir. But, I’ve got to rant from time to time. It seems that some people are so deluded that they think they can keep some people from criminal actions by asking them not to – or by making those criminal actions doubly illegal. You can’t stop criminals by making their actions illegallererer. That’s not how it works. It’s not like the bad guy will see the sign on the door, stop in his tracks, and wander away dejectedly.

It’s already illegal to perform unjust violent acts. The criminal mind doesn’t care. A gun is a tool that a criminal may use to perform such acts. Such use of the tool is criminally illegal. A gun is also a tool that may be used to prevent such occurrences when a police officer is on the way – or not.

Much legislation has been put in place that makes obtaining a gun much more of a hassle. There was a time (that some still living people can attest to) in which you could walk into Sears or Montgomery Ward and walk out with a shiny new gun. You could even mail-order guns from the back of a magazine. It wasn’t all that long ago that you could purchase a gun at the local drug store with just the exchange of money – no paperwork needed apply. Has the legislation kept the guns out of unsavory hands? No. Will further legislation? No. If they were to pass a blanket ban on guns, the criminals would still have them. The biggest difference is that decent people like you and I would not – because we are decent, law-abiding people.

Yesterday, I was thinking about all of this in reference to the automotive industry. My brother has said on multiple occasions that he uses wheel locks on his car, because it keeps the honest people from stealing your wheels. I personally have taken wheel locks off of cars without the wheel key. Don’t worry, I used to be a mechanic. Most people can’t keep track of the key, so the locks have to be busted off by creative means at one time or another. It’s not that hard even.

The first few cars were made in such a way that they had absolutely no security or safety features whatsoever. Nobody had thought of anything like that. Cars were such a novel thing that only the rich had them, and most people didn’t have a clue how to operate them, so they wouldn’t steal them. They didn’t go very fast, so the dangers of accidents were muted.

Today, to keep criminals from stealing our cars, we have alarms and tamper-resistant locks. Some vehicles have OnStar, which can locate an individual vehicle and shut it down if need be. We have computerized keys that interface with the lock cylinder in both the old-fashioned, mechanical pin against key tooth method, and with a computer in the car that recognizes an imprinted chip in the key. If one or the other of these features is not present in the key, the car is designed to not operate. We have wheel locks, electric door locks that lack external key cylinders, The Club, and any number of anti-theft devices. Will any of that absolutely keep your car from being stolen? No. Not a chance. There are enterprising criminals that can bypass each and every or all of these and more. These devices simply keep the honest people honest.

When I park my car, I park it in plain view so that if any criminal got any ideas, he’d have an audience to his actions. I lock the doors, because criminals usually take the path of least resistance and won’t jimmy a car door if they have a better opportunity. I don’t leave valuable-looking stuff in plain sight in the vehicle, so it doesn’t look worth breaking into, and I don’t leave actually valuable stuff in an unattended car if I can help it, so if someone breaks in, the losses will be limited.

To keep us safe, we have crumple-zones that sacrificially reduce impact to the passenger cabin. We have three-point, auto-tensioning seat belts that will lock if the car stops too suddenly. Some of these seat belts have pyrotechnic rewind units that will actually pull us harder into the seat if the body structure is compromised. Similarly, if the body buckles, we have air bags that will deploy in front of us, and beside us, to lessen cranial stress in the event of an accident. Cars are often equipped with traction control that make them harder to lose control of, and I don’t think there’s a car manufactured for the U. S. market anymore that is not equipped with sophisticated, computer-controlled anti-lock brakes that are designed to make the car easier to stop in an emergency maneuver. BMW and other premium brands even have optional night vision systems that warn the driver of obstacles that they may not otherwise be able to see in the dark.

Do people still have accidents? Absolutely. Do people still die in automotive accidents? If you watch the news, you know the answer is yes. Chances are, you have known someone who has died in an accident in the last five years. You may not have been close to them, but it’s not at all an uncommon thing to happen.

This is why we use our seat belts and don’t drive excessively fast. We use our turn signals so other drivers can better predict what’s about to happen in traffic. This is why we check our mirrors, and our blind spots. A responsible driver is aware of the cars all around him, and is constantly making predictions as to what those other drivers are going to do. When I see a large vehicle piloted by a stressed-looking driver, on the phone, swerving from lane to lane, driving as fast as they possibly can, I steer clear. They are obviously not going to take the care of my safety like I am.

Some of these mentioned were imposed by government regulation and others are features that the manufactures independently developed to make their products more attractive to the consumer. With both the safety features and the security features built into modern automobiles, they can be argued as positive improvements. Each of them does serve a purpose, but not without pitfalls. I’ve had to chase wiring problems that arose from faulty security systems that had cars dead in their tracks. If your car has no key hole on its exterior and the battery goes dead, you’re in trouble. As I mentioned before, if you lose your wheel lock key, it can be quite the pain to get the locks off. Anti-lock brakes and traction control are frowned upon by some aficionados of driving, because they impede certain characteristics of high-performance driving. When your car is fitted with a system that can shut it down from a remote location, you have relinquished a certain amount of control over your property.

With rare exception, Smith & Wesson installs a lock on nearly every one of their new revolvers. These locks are known to spontaneously lock up the gun’s action while firing on occasion. It’s a rare occurrence, and most owners of new Smith & Wesson revolvers will never experience it. But, since the possibility exists, many people refuse to carry these fine machines as defensive tools. I personally abhor what I like to call ‘deliberate’ safeties on guns. I really don’t mind the trigger safeties on Glocks, S&W M&Ps, as well as other firearms, or the grip safety like you will find on a XD or a standard 1911. But, I hate a manual safety lever. God forbid I should ever have to use a hand gun in the act of defense, I don’t want to have to do anything beyond sighting and pulling the trigger, in order to get that first shot off.

The anti crowd would like to see more stringent safety devices on guns, and would like to see the gun manufacturers held criminally liable for the illegal use of their products. This would be like someone suing Ford because their daughter died when she ran her Mustang off a bridge, or because the getaway driver was in an E150, for that matter! The anti’s would like to make it even harder for decent people to obtain guns, and the licensure to carry them. With the idiots I see on the road, it seems that it’s only gotten easier to obtain a driver’s license! The antis would ultimately like to ban guns altogether, which would still not prevent gun crimes. All we have to do is look to Mexico for an example of that.

I’ve got to stop this rant somewhere, and I suppose this is as good a place as any. I have said and written it many times before, but I will close with this thought: When people comment to me that guns are scary because they kill people, I simply answer, “None of mine have.” That usually provokes some much needed thought.

Link

One of Hasan’s neighbours described how on the day of the massacre, about 9am, he gave her a Koran and told her: “I’m going to do good work for God” before leaving for the base.

Fellow doctors have recounted how they were repeatedly harangued by Hasan about religion and that he openly claimed to be a “Muslim first and American second.”

Major Nidal Malik Hasan, the gunman who killed 13 at America’s Fort Hood military base, once gave a lecture to other doctors in which he said non-believers should be beheaded and have boiling oil poured down their throats. He also told colleagues at America’s top military hospital that non-Muslims were infidels condemned to hell who should be set on fire.

Without “jumping to conclusions,” I feel that it’s quite safe to say that we’ve had our first terrorist attack on U. S. soil since the Bush administration put an end to such things. I suppose it was only a matter of time. It’s quite unfortunate that the powers that be failed to identify this scum as a threat before he went all splody-monkey. I hope they treat him right.

Source

In a tape released Sunday by al-Qaida’s media wing, terrorist leader Osama bin Laden said President Barack Obama is “powerless” to stop the war in Afghanistan.

“Muhahahahahahahaaaaaaa!” *scratching lap kitty on the ear*

So much for sitting down and talking things out.

Here’s to eight years without a terrorist attack on U. S. soil. Mr. Bush, we couldn’t have done it without you! It seems like everyone is talking about it. In Jennifer’s Head Life in 3D Morgan Freeberg Larry Correia David Hardy Ron Zack There are many others, too. I’m going to bow to them this time around. That being said, let’s never forget.

I try to keep my keyboarding fingers clean from most of what’s going on politically, and leave politics to the pros. I have my convictions, thoughts, and opinions, but there are some who are far more studious on such things. Every now and then however, I’ve got to say something. This is one of those times.

The ‘cash for clunkers’ program will prove to be one, big, epic, circle-jerking FAIL. People who bought cars during this particular program were going to buy a car within the next few years anyway. That means that the cars that they bought to get their $4,500 Federal Cheese are simply a loan from the future of the industry, as those cars will not be purchased when they would have been in the next few years. Plus, because of the way the rules read, there were a lot of people who wound up buying economical imports rather than keeping the money in our own economy. So basically, instead of people supporting our market in the coming years, they’ve been bribed with tax dollars to pump that money to foreign shores. Brilliant!

Enter Sig Sauer. I got an email offer from them last night concerning their new promotion, “CA$H for your KLUNKER HANDGUN“. Apparently, some snarky dude in Sig Sauer’s marketing department decided that it would be a great idea to poke fun at the U. S. federal government for the profit of the company. The rules seem to paraphrase as: If you trade in an operational handgun of at least 9mm or .38 Spl caliber, they will give you a $200.00 cash rebate when you purchase a new Sig. So, if you have a beat-up Charter Arms that you’d like to upgrade from, why not trade it in on a new P250? I love it!

Go read this article. It is worth the laugh. (Thank you, Breda!)

Allow me to share some of the gems:

Mayor Byron Brown said, “We will get anything from long guns rifles, AK-47’s, oozies, so we have gotten those assault weapons.”

Translation: ‘long gun rifles’ = Super Soaker, ‘AK-47′ = Nerf Dart Blaster, ‘oozies’: Home Depot brand caulk gun. In truth, most of the guns were simply children’s toys, but the authorities and media have nearly no experience with actual firearms, so we can’t really blame them for the confusion.

“I found the pistol in my backyard and I found the sawed off shotgun in my trailer in the middle of winter,” he said.
He doesn’t know what they were used for but doesn’t want them near his home.

Not going to take them to the police, like he should have, but definitely, definitely doesn’t want them near his home when he can get $100.00 for them!

“The reason I brought them in is because I have a 9 year old and a stepson that was shot with a handgun, quite a few years ago and he survived,” Holiday exclaimed.

So, he needs a bigger handgun to shoot his stepson with? What is he trying to tell us here?

So far there have been more homicides this year than in all of last year.

…with a rapidly shrinking number of legal guns in the area, but that couldn’t possibly be a valid correlation, could it?

Surveillance video shows a passenger holding what appears to be a gun but the suspect has not been caught.

‘Appears’, huh? So, who knows? Maybe he was holding a kitten…

I’m shocked by the lack of intelligence in this op ed. No, on second thought, I’ve seen the wonderful stuff that’s been coming from the major media recently. God help us all!

UPDATE!!! *cheesy telegraph sound*

Sometime in the last few hours, they corrected their misspelling from ‘oozies’ to ‘uzis’, which thinly veils their complete and utter ignorance concerning firearms. I still think they got confused concerning the identity of an old caulk gun, but that’s just my opinion.

You know, I’m not too big to say I was wrong. Back in November, I was telling everyone I knew how I wanted to be wrong about the newly elected. I thought he was a typical, Chicago-style, deep-dish, corrupt politician that would make promises and back-pedal out of promising that which was impossible to deliver, or just because he didn’t mean it when he promised them. But, this morning, look what I found on my porch:

unicorn

OMG!!!! I thought that our undocumented-in-chief would send his knee-breakers to hunt me down for my dissent. But instead, he wins me over, offering me the olive branch in the form of this mythological creature! And, it has healing powers! It’s like the bestest health-care evah! It has healed my soul. *sigh.*

All seriousness aside, I found out by reading my wife’s blog that Chuck Norris is pissed off at the new health care bill. So, to those of us who think it’s another smoke-screened conglomeration of lib-turd pet-projects, no need to worry! They pissed off the Chuck! He’ll doubtlessly be in D. C. to kick some flabby, corrupt butt before we know it! Problem solved!