In reference to my title on this one, if you haven’t seen Oh, Brother Where Art Thou, get thee to the movie kiosk or the Netflix stream, or whatever flavor of movie rental you prefer!

I believe it was the first Christmas Jenni and I were together. We were recently married and had not known each other for very long in the grand scheme of things. Many people were betting against our success, and it was hard to blame them. In the first year of our marriage, we bought a house, had a kid, and our net income put us comfortably in the poverty bracket. I wouldn’t trade that year for anything.

I’ve got sensitive facial skin. Gillette ought to run the census, because their demographic intel is incredible! When I got to about shaving age in my teens, I started getting Mach 5’s in the mail. They were useless to me. None of those multi-blade monstrosities have been any good on my face, but lead to endless razor burn and breakouts. I found that Grandpa’s old safety razor made for a beautifully close shave without side-effects, but I was not comfortable using it. Teenage boys are not well-known for their minute dexterity, and it took me half and hour and several cuts to get a shave with the thing. So, I went electric. In my adolescence, I had an electric shaver that served me well, even if it didn’t ever shave very close.

Then, on that first Christmas of my marriage, my new wife gave me a really nice Panasonic wet/dry electric shaver. I might add that she doesn’t particularly like me to wear facial hair. Now, that would make the little shaver 11.5 years old. It has served me well for over a decade. But, in the last few months, its performance has suffered. The battery would need to be charged more often, and the blades were showing clearer signs of their age. A couple of weeks ago, it finally deteriorated to the point of uselessness.

I was shaving one morning, and the old motor was giving its hum, albeit a few steps lower in pitch than when it was younger. When I got to the tougher whiskers on my chin, rather than being cut, they got jammed between the blades and the screen, and pulled hard. No amount of turning the switch off would make the shaver release its death grip on my facial hair. I wound up gritting my teeth and yanking the wayward device from my face. That was the final straw.

The Panasonic has gotten to the age that blades and batteries are no longer readily available, and would likely require a seal kit to install. I don’t even want to think about trying to obtain that! A new shaver would probably be a better option. It appears that this early gift from my young bride deserves a Viking funeral at long last. As Murphy’s Law would have it, a new shaver has exactly zero priority in my life right now, as we are pinching pennies in every conceivable way, with the start of the business and all. So, I took up Grandpa’s safety razor again.

I have a few blades for the antique razor, and when they run out, replacements are cheap. I didn’t realize exactly how dilapidated the Panasonic’s blades had gotten until using a real blade again. Where I was shaving every morning with the wet/dry, I can achieve similar results with three mornings a week using the safety razor. With the repetitive use, in my adult life, I’ve gotten a lot more efficient using the blade. What took thirty minutes as a goofy teen takes five now – and that’s with a whole lot more facial hair. I’m starting to think that I won’t own another electric, even when I am not feeling so thrifty again.

Over the last week or so, I’ve been a bit of a slug on grooming. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still showering and using deodorant. I just haven’t bothered to shave. Over the last couple of days, I was noticing that my head was getting a little fuzzier than I like it as well. So, this morning I decided to fix it. I got out the Wahl clippers and the #1 guard and went to town. I don’t often cut my own hair since it’s difficult to see whether I got it even in the back, but I thought that it would be far more likely to get done if I only had to ask Jenni to even up the back when she gets home from work.

Once I got all trimmed up, I looked really funny (to me anyway) as the hair on my head was roughly the same length as my stubble. So, out came Grandpa’s safety razor and I took care of that as well. Now, I look more like a respectable business man than an insane bum – always a good thing. Funny enough, I have not cut myself once in this round of using the old single blade. I’ve often mused about going to a straight razor, and I think I’d like to try that one day. The problem is that you don’t just need the razor, but all the peripheral stuff as well – the strop, stone, brush, cup, soap, etc. The initial investment is significant but well pays for itself in savings on supplies. There’s simply no cheaper way to shave in the long run. Until I do make such a jump, it appears that I’ll be using the old safety razor.

Overall impression:

In a nutshell, this movie was made to make Sylvester Stallone feel like a bad-ass action hero one last time before his 65th birthday. The previews boast of a cast full of past and present action movie actors. In reality, several of those were no more than brief cameos. The screenplay was co-written by Stallone, who also co-produced, directed, and starred in the film. Yeah, this flick was basically his way of junk-greasing his own ego. It looks like his last hurrah, and seems like he wanted to take out as many action actors as he could with him. I shall henceforth refer to the film as “The Expendable Movie”.

What Happens:

The exhaustive storyline is that a group of elite-force type mercenaries (The Expendables) are contracted to overthrow a dictator of a banana republic (El General). Said dictator is largely a puppet leader backed by a jilted CIA agent gone drug lord. Stallone and another member of The Expendables scout out the island to determine whether the job pays well enough for the work that it will take to complete. In the process, they meet the beautiful daughter of the General and are found out by the bad guys. They leave a swath of fire-storm fed destruction across the island and determine that the job is not worth the money. Once back at home, Stallone has a pang of conscience and decides that he must save the girl. Meanwhile, an unstable Dolph Lundgren who was just excused from The Expendables is contracted by the General and the former CIA dude to infiltrate and exterminate his former boss, Stallone. A fight on home turf ensues ending in the apparent death of Lundgren’s character. With his last breath, he repents to Stallone and tells him everything. Meanwhile, Jason Statham’s character discovers that his girlfriend has taken to another man in his most recent, month long, mysterious absence. Stallone announces that he is going back to the island and nobody else needs to feel obligated to do so. Predictably, the entire team assembles to aid his invasion. On their second trip to the island, they load everything up with C4 (which magically appears in armloads when they are ready to administer it), and kill bad guys with an assortment of weapons that share a triangular range between standard U.S.G.I.-, gun range mall ninja, and silly exaggeration of Future Weapons. There’s quite a bit of a fist fight between Stallone and Steve Austin. When our heroes are cornered between the ex-CIA’s men and the General’s soldiers, the General himself makes a statement (directly over them no less) to his men that he’s had a change of heart and plans on kicking out the Americans that have oppressed them (presumably CIA dude and his cronies). Former CIA dude chose this moment to assassinate the General, and all hell breaks loose. The Expendables are caught in a three-way battle between the soldiers and the American gang. This is when Stallone pulls out a rather large detonator switch (which must have been uncomfortably hidden in an orifice somewhere), and the rest of the movie is basically explosions, burning puddles of fuel, and raw body count. In the end, our heroes have lost no men (including Lundgren, who has a miraculous recovery and turns back to the proverbial Light Side of The Force), and Stallone saves the day. The singular surprise in the ‘plot’ is that he didn’t kiss the girl when he was leaving the island, but did promise that he would return. She was presumably left behind to cure the ills of her home with her pure heart and wise leadership. Upon their return, Statham finds that his replacement has hit his ex-girlfriend. So, he goes to the playground and beats him up along with the other bullies. That’s about it. After about the first ten minutes of set up, there are no surprises, but the entire screenplay kind of flows in all the most obvious directions. Well, besides Stallone not making out with a woman a third of his age – I really didn’t see that coming, given the context of his character.

Notable Characters:

Sylvester Stallone has never been an attractive man, in my opinion. But, he has really not aged well. His characteristic saggy eyes, crooked nose, and Novocain lip are even more pronounced in The Expendable Movie. In the film, Sly plays Barney Ross, leader of the mercenaries. He’s a caricature of a big action hero, with old skin stretched over it. He’s a tattooed, motorcycling, jewelry-wearing, gun blasting bad boy who can pull himself out of the water into a lifting-off airplane by its door-frame while wearing body armor. He dual-wields a pair of 1911s and has a SA revolver which he carries in a SOB holster which he’ll whip out to palm-fan a last-resort burst of lead at the bad guy. Carrying his M4 rifle, as with his 1911s, he aimlessly, carelessly, and wildly waves the muzzle around. Rarely does he ever appear to look for a sight picture or even pretend to exercise any kind of trigger control. This is of course consistent with Stallone’s typical, sociopathic, Hollyweird liberal, double standard on guns – even though he’s good enough to carry a gun, nobody else is. Although in his mid-60’s, it takes help from multiple men for Steve Austin overpower the grunting and snorting Stallone. Many of the other characters spend much of the movie talking about how big and bad he is. This was actually some of the better acting that I’ve seen from Stallone, which isn’t saying much.

Bruce Willis, playing Mr. Church meets with Stallone and Arnold Schwartzenegger playing Trench for a short scene towards the beginning of the film. Church presumably represents the CIA and wants to hire a team of mercenaries to flush the island dictator. Trench is the leader of a rival team. Church wanted to meet with the two of them to determine who would be best for the job. There was a little playful banter between Stallone and The Governator, and Willis got in a few pointed threatening statements, but that was about it for these two big names in the film. I imagine that Stallone dragged on the pants leg of each of these men for weeks until they relented and agreed to do the uncredited but much flaunted cameo.

Getting back to shockingly less than absolutely terrible acting, Jason Statham really opened up his acting abilities in this film and made three facial expressions instead of his standard one! In different scenes, he managed to look pissed off (as we’ve come to expect) and hurt, and happy! Statham played Lee Christmas, a knife-flinging brawler who challenged his knife throwing against Stallone’s single-action shooting multiple times during the movie.

Jet Li played Ying Yang (I know, I know – who the hell named these characters anyway). Ying Yang is predictably the martial arts expert in The Expendables who uses caricatured Kung-Fu motions for every action (including the requisite swishing sound effects) throughout the film. He is obsessive about his diminutive stature and uses it as an argument that he should be paid more than the other mercenaries. Although his martial arts are impressive, he often finds himself helpless against the brute force of the larger characters. Although surrounded by men taller than himself, he was the giant if you count acting abilities. I’m saddened that Li even agreed to do this insulting role. He is so much more talented an actor than that.

Dolph Lundgren plays Gunner Jensen, who gets fired from The Expendables for acting recklessly and outside of the group’s code of ethics. Upon dismissal, he ominously tells Stallone that he won’t cause any trouble because he’s “a nice guy”. Gunner Jensen has a particular beef with the diminutive Ying Yang. Gunner is probably the character with the least surprises, including his betrayal and death, and his resurrection and repentance in the end.

Eric Roberts plays James Monroe, a two-dimensional former CIA agent gone cocaine drug lord. He operates the island using a team of American thugs who influence the military force on the island to keep the people in submission.

Steve Austin plays Monroe’s hired muscle, named Paine (I know – again with the silly names). He does a lot of posturing and head beating in the movie until he falls into a puddle of burning jet fuel in his final fight.

David Zayas plays General Garza, who is the only character in the film with an actual internal conflict. After years of oppressing his people, first on his own and then under the thumb of Monroe and the other Americans, he decides that his pure-hearted daughter was right after all. He comes around to an upright moral position just before his demise, for a Darth Vader-esque death.

Giselle itié plays the beautiful, kind daughter of the general. In her one-track mind, she believes in good triumphing over evil even in the worst of odds. She refuses to flee the island, thinking that she can make a difference with her presence.

Mickey Rourke plays Tool, the lovable, wise womanizing tattoo artist that gives council to The Expendables.

And, I’ve saved the best character for last: Terry Crews plays Hale Caesar, who is the support character for the most important character, his AA-12 shotgun, which nobody has heard of despite being a 28-year-old design. In The Expendable Movie, the AA-12 is louder and more devastating than any other weapon, including M4’s, AK47’s, RPG’s, hand grenades, and belt-fed machine guns. It shoots a mythical, 12-gauge round that stabilizes with spring-loaded tail fins, that explodes upon impact. This fully-automatic shotgun fired hundreds of explosive rounds from only two drum magazines and was light enough that Caesar was able to haul it all over the jungle and through the palace, and finally had to drop it to make his escape from the exploding palace.

Final thought:

Don’t pay full-price to see The Expendable Movie. Wait until it’s in the dollar theaters, or out on rental. Make sure you are boozed up first. This flick would be fun to watch with a group that was pretty well buzzed. Other than that, it’s kind of a waste of time and money.

I shall tag Jenni who will write the next line and pass it on. I’ll do my best to keep up with the updates. Feel free to join in in the comments section. Okay, here we go!

Black and blocky
was the Glocky
that did slay
the Jabberwocky.

Next victim! Muhahahahha!!!

Update:

Original Line:

Black and blocky
was the Glocky
that did slay
the Jabberwocky.

Quoth Jennifer:

Asked did he
upon demise
What could be
the caliber size.

Sarah:

Jabberwockies, so hard to slay,
will go down if they are shot
with a round starting with “four”
and bearing the name Gold Dot.

And Christina:

The Jabberwock, not known for wit
is easy to be stalked.
You merely find a place to sit
and leave him to be Glocked.

He comes galumphing, trailing drool
and doesn’t glance my way.
Oh, shit! No Vorpal-ammo, Fool!
He lives to die another day.

Then Lissa:

And as in uffish thought she stood,
The Goblin-wock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the front-door wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! NOT through-and-through
My lil’ Siguette went snicker-snack!
The four nine-mil’s quite turned its head
And put him on his back.

Alright. So, I haven’t been great about keeping this thing moving. I’m feeling like kind of a slug about it at the moment. I don’t really have much to say right now… Not much at all…

We had a nice Independence Day weekend, for what that’s worth. Cat O’ Nine Tales drove in to our neck of the woods for the weekend. So, that was nice. Everything just kind of worked out great all weekend. We got to the parade later than we wanted, but we still got the best parking space in town. And, when we went to set up our chairs, we found a great place to park our butts too! The weather was cool and it started to sprinkle at the end of the parade. The go-cart drivers in the Shriners were in the finest form I’ve ever seen them. They must have a practice track somewhere, because I didn’t think it was possible to drive those little suckers that hard!

We had the same story when we went to the University to see the fireworks show. Got there late, still found a great spot. It was nice. Sunday afternoon we went to the range and converted money into noise and jubilation. I made some decent groups, but my lack of practice is starting to show. That kind of sucks.

On the business front, the sales are starting to roll in slowly. I’m seeing a very slow and steady increase in interest and in actual sales. This is a good thing. It tells me that it is actually working. I’m going to wager a guess and say that what I’m seeing right now is typical of a year in. If I’m right on that, I deserve a pat on the back or something. Maybe I’m just being optimistic. At any rate, I’m about to announce a great event over at The Holster Site. I’ve got to keep that pretty secretive for the moment, but I’m getting really excited about that!

Anyway, I’ve got some other stuff to finish up in the next couple hours, and that’s about all I’ve got for now.

I just posted a new entry on The Holster Site concerning feedback from the people that wear my holsters. Although I’ve been making holsters for a few years, right now sales are slow. I’m trying to remain realistic about it though. In any practical sense, I’ve only been in business for about five weeks. The fact that I’ve made any money at all is pretty fantastic, actually. But, it can be pretty easy to temporarily lose perspective and freak out.

I find it to be much like the attitude it takes to quit smoking. When someone is puffing away on a cancer stick, it’s really easy for them to say that they will quit. They can envision it – putting the pack down and never picking it up again. Sure, they would miss it, but it seems like it should be so easy when they are actually in the act of smoking. But, when they get an hour or two after when they normally would have had that last cigarette, the heart rate increases and they feel nervous. Ask them about quitting at that point and you may induce a full-on panic attack! When Jenni and I decided that I should pursue my own business full-time, we very realistically acknowledged that things could be tight for the first couple of years, and that we were willing to work through that. But, five weeks into that decision and I find it really easy to get twisted over the lack of sales.

Attempting to branch out into other products is starting to look like a successful endeavor. I am about to nail this handbag deal – I’ve actually come up with a couple of viable prototypes! I’m currently wearing my Surefire G2 in a leather belt holster that I made for it. I’ll be posting pics of that before long. the coolest part is that it would be incredibly easy to alter the design to carry a can of OC spray. I’m thinking of maybe setting up a rig that has two holes in it – one for your light and the other for your pepper. I’ve also been carrying one of my new carbon/Kevlar wallets and have been taking notes on making it a real full-production item. I’m figuring out where it wears and where it doesn’t. Where it does wear needs to be fixed before I can offer it.

As of yet, the carbon fiber and carbon Kevlar have far exceeded my expectations of their performance. For that matter, all of the new materials that I’ve been experimenting with have been fantastic! You have to have special cutting tools for some of the stronger composites, as if that’s any surprise. The surprising part is that it’s not necessarily what you would think. In anticipation of the cutting challenge presented by Kevlar cloth, I purchased Gingher’s G12 industrial Shears. Although they work really well on the carbon fiber cloth, they won’t cut the Kevlar. For the carbon Kevlar cloth, the two tools that I’ve discovered work are Ginger’s 4-inch embroidery scissors and an Olfa rotary cutter. So, the industrial shears wouldn’t cut the industrial material, but embroidery scissors and quilting cutters will. I need to look at more crafter’s tools. Apparently, they’re a lot tougher than I have given them credit for.

I still need to set up the website for the bags and stuff, but I’m having a hard enough time keeping up with my posting here and at The Holster Site. I’m going to need to really set up a hard schedule if I’m going to keep track of three websites! Besides that, I’ve got to make sure that I’ve got product to put on the website!

On a household note, the car needs tires and an exhaust and a little body work, and we’re still paying on it for another year. That’s got me a little freaked right now. We are long overdue for a range session but it’s really hard to justify the expense of the ammo and stuff at the moment. We’re also long overdue for a vacation, but without a decent laptop, we can’t even consider the old road-trip-to-family-in-the-next-state budget vacation. There are lots of things that I would like to be able to afford right now, but there’s just no way. I guess I should write down a list for when things aren’t so tight. This can’t last forever afterall.

I know that with one big break, things could radically change for the better. If I could outsource production and basically just be a designer, that would be wonderful! At that point in time, I imagine that I would think back on the present with fond nostalgia. Well, wish me luck and keep praying for me.

To both my readers – I’m sorry. I haven’t been a very good blogger lately. If you have been following my rants, you both probably know that I haven’t been very good at keeping up with my online presence. You probably also know that I’ve been working – A LOT!!!!! If you haven’t, you can pretty much catch up on the antics here or here. If you haven’t already, GO, READ!

As you can already tell from the preceding, I’ve been worked really hard over the course of the last month’s time. I’ve been on my feet on a shop floor for a good ten hours a day. This is no excuse for my absence in my blogging, but I hope that you will forgive me and understand that there has been some other pressure.

I learned a lot at Appleseed when we went, but it was a real disaster to me in the present state of things. It was a real lifter to Jenni, and you can read about it here. Once again, I learned A LOT. If I skip the part about my failure (or my lack of mastery) can I skip on to the part about bad equipment without guilt? Frankly, I feel like the equipment challenges forced me to learn a whole lot more than the other students of the workshop. This won’t be my last Appleseed, as I WANT THAT PATCH!!!!!!!!

Jenni and I are still in the one-income mindset for some reason. This means that we’ve been living on the cheap (a.k.a. like poor people), and I’ve been working a lot of hours, and dragging the cash home. So, we found ourselves with a household export deficiency.

When Christmas was coming around, we had this grand idea that we were going to have a gunny Christmas. The fat man was going to come down our non-existent chimney with a bag full of shooty goodness, and he was going to leave a precision air rifle for the kiddo, a DAO Beretta PX4 Storm .45 for Jenni, and a Saiga 12 for Your’s Truly. But, that didn’t happen. Life got in the way, and we took care of life instead. We made it right for the kiddo, but we vowed that we’d take care of each other later.

Valentine’s Day came and went. I was unemployed. This weekend, we found ourselves together with a little excess cash. So, we took care of each other. We found a great Nikon camera that Jenni couldn’t go on without, and we made our way to the range to return some loaner gear to my friend, Will.

While we were at the range, I looked over that 12-gauge AK that I’ve been imagining owning. They didn’t have the exact model that I’d like to own, the price was a little higher than I remembered, and I was thinking of all the mods I’d have to do to it before I loved it. So, after much deliberation I didn’t go that route. Instead, I bought a brand new Smith & Wesson M&P45c.

“Why that particular gun?” you might ask. Well, I’ve been a fan of Smith & Wesson since I’ve been even fascinated by guns. They haven’t let me down yet. Jenni has the 9mm equivalent of this gun, and although I was thinking about getting a nine, it made more sense for me to get a different caliber if I was getting the same model – and I don’t believe in .40 or .357 Sig. Bang for the buck, it’s really hard to argue with S&W’s M&P guns. They’re really fantastic firearms for the green they command.

While at the range, I rented a S&W M&P45 full-sized model, just to get the feel for the thing. The rental gun was well-abused, with many thousands of careless rounds put through it. And, its countenance showed it. The sucker was visibly mal-handled as a lifestyle. The polymer frame was warped away from the muzzle, and everything in it that could rattle was. And yet, it returned fuzzy hole after fuzzy hole in the way of groups. The gun felt remarkably solid in the hand and all actions were consistent – safety, slide, trigger, etc.

Smith & Wesson is currently offering a $50 or two-free mags mail-in rebate on this line of guns, so the economics made perfect sense. I went to the young man who had showed me the Saiga and broke the news that I would not be buying that shotgun – but asked him if he would sell me a pistol instead.

Over the weekend, Jenni and I took the little big bore to the range. She performed perfectly over the course of 200-rounds. I resisted the urge to be horribly stingy, and let Jenni shoot her a few times. Although the users weren’t perfect, the equipment itself performed flawlessly. There were fuzzy groups returned when we shot our wellest, and adequate-to-kill-teh-BG for our worstest of shooting.

This evening, when Jenni was out to church choir, I walked down to the range at the corner and picked up some defensive .45. It’s the Bonded PDX – or whatever bullet, as loaded by Winchester. Now, I need to work myself into my holster-making schedule. My real customers come first, but this girl will have a name and be riding in good leather in no time flat!

Jenni has taken some very impressive pictures with her new camera, and the new pistol shoots wonderfully. So, for a VERY late Christmas present, Jenni took some nice shots at my new pistol. I very wisely did not reciprocate. There are pics of the new gun which will come out shortly, but you aren’t missing anything as it looks like a very generic, polymer, striker-fired auto-chucker.

So, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Happy St. Patrick’s Day and Merry Christmas to both my readers!

To both my faithful readers: I give my sincerest apologies for not writing a blog entry for over two weeks. These are the actions of a n00b, and I hope you can forgive me. Now, please allow me to explain myself. Right now, I’m receiving my 100-proof therapy after my fifteenth consecutive day of work at the new place. I’m not much worried about getting Dooced right now, as I don’t think anybody there has any time to find my blog, much less read it. Week one wound up around fifty-two hours of labor. Last week tallied in at a little over sixty. Fortunately, I will not be working this weekend. I’ve made comment and had coworkers say that they thought ‘we’ would be working. I’ve explained that I have scheduled the time off, and will be taking it, as I have already purchased my tickets to the Appleseed shoot that I’ve been wanting to go to for two years now! I’m friggin’ excited and dead tired all at the same time. The weather looks like it will be great (although I don’t put any faith in a forecast beyond 72-hours).

The wife, child, and I will be well-overdue for some challenging rifle action. I hope to learn some tricks that will make my shooting go from adequate to astounding. From what I’ve heard and read from other Appleseed attendees, this is exactly what I should expect. It was about two years ago that there was an event near my home, and that’s where we are going next weekend. I inquired, and there were no assurances that there would be another event at said location in the foreseeable future. So, we ponied up, paid the admission, called in some favors to complete our gear, and we will be storming our stores for the remainder of what it will take to go to this magnificent event. With our awesome .22lr’s in hand, we will drive to the gun range where the three of us will learn to reliably hit a man-sized target at 500-meters with a rifle equipped with iron sights. Yeah. I’m psyched! The range also has an area reserved for some real-life, 600-yard shooting, so I imagine that we’ll also drag our AR’s along for the ride. We’re going to have a really nice, soopah awsom, rifley weekend!

Besides the obvious complaint about the hours, I REALLY like the new job. I thought that I was working with an outstanding group of people at my last job. But, this company is 10x bigger than the last, and I can’t find anybody that I have had any significant head-butting with. Having crammed three weeks worth of work into two, that’s really saying something! As far as the hours are concerned, my one saving grace is that it is temporary. The factory is:
1 – Moving from one computer system to a distinctly different one.
2 – Changing warehouse and manufacturing locations to streamline production.
3 – Going through a meticulous inventory of like a quarter million distinct part numbers (I may be exaggerating a little there).
and:
4 – Implementing a massive overhaul of the part numbering system.
The bottom line is that they need all the help they can get. My position is the obvious help there. Salaried employees put in free overtime, and they perform accordingly. Hourly employees must legally get paid time-and-a-half for their overtime. Consultants (a. k. a. ‘contract labor’), such as I, may be paid straight, hourly pay for any and all time over the Federally allotted, forty per week. Therefore, they will make their hardest attempt to work the snot out of me for the duration for the ninety-day contract. I must say that I don’t mind the extra pay, even if I do mind the extra hours. I am rapidly wearing thin, but I don’t think that it will be a problem to deliver at least their money’s worth through the end of the week. I have even managed to get a little of my holster work in on the side! Granted, I have not completed a huge amount of that work, but it has been progress… As far as more traditional work is concerned, I like them a lot, and they seem to like me as well. The people at the new company express in many ways that they are really impressed and appreciative of my presence there. Apparently, I have not offered disappointment since my interview. I don’t plan on offering any.

On the holster end of things, I’m just about to unveil my first exotic-skinned holster as well as the much-requested, much awaited, pocket/IWB convertible. And, I’ve got a few tricks in store there! I’ve also freshened up my belt-optional IWB holsters and added a matching magazine carrier for the weak side. True to my previous promises, I’m about to show off some beautiful new products! For a teaser, please look at what Caleb has to say about his new Red Racer! I’m trying my hardest to make the best holster you can get, regardless of price – and a .2-second drop in draw speed over kydex for a Bianchi Cup competing IDPA shooter is nothing to scoff at!

Yes, friends. I’m very tired. But, the ride has been a good one. I’m looking forward to some much earned R&R, but for now, I believe I’ve got enough fuel left to get through the demanding part. Once again, I’ll try my hardest to not let it get to two weeks before my next post. Thanks for reading. Regards,

ERM

BEFORE THE ADDRESS -

OK. First of all, it’s a quarter till the speech comes on. I only thought it fitting to watch on Fox. I mean, come on, right? So, anyhoo… It’s so freaking rare that I ever watch anything broadcast, it’s such a novelty that I turned on the TV ten minutes ago.

American Idol is on. What kind of ***t is this?!?!?!???!? I know that some people electively watch this garbage, but it’s seriously mundane! How could someone consciously subject them to this unless they are waiting for the next show to come on in twenty-five minutes? (Please, please don’t answer that.)

All the ’singers’ sound the same. I mean – THE. SAME. I know that there are styles that come and go, but be they men or women, boys or girls, they all sound EXACTLY the same! When they find out that they are going to Hollyweird, they flap their wrists in a frenzy as they fan away their tears. WTF is that?!?!?!

I mean they all that that little ‘Awawawawawa’ trill in their voices. If I had EVER and I mean EEEVVVEEERRRR performed any kind of music like that in my lifetime, I would have wound up with a teacher’s foot in my a-hole. The girls sing low, the boys sing high… Come to think of it, pop music hasn’t really changed much in the last twenty-five or so years…

I kind of like commercials as rarely as I ever see them anymore. Hyundai… *Well, that news girl is kind of hot – in a square-jawed, bite-it-off sort of severe way.* AI is back. She’s wearing PINK eyeshadow. I think her shorts are wider than they are long. Did I go to sleep normal and wake up a Puritan or am I just getting old in my non-TV-watching way? *This chick is TERRIBLE!*

The British dude is mean. She was bad, but she wasn’t abusively bad. Yeeeeeaaaahhhh… Melissa is getting drunk tonight. I bet she gives it up to the first dude that shows interest. That’s just sad. Simon! That’s his name!

Yup. This is tarded – all over again. I’m really ready for this crap to be over. But, this cancer chick is wearing a cute skirt. So, do they always show you some underdog that you have to feel sorry for on this God-forsaken show? Leukemia. Is that how that’s spelled? I feel compelled by her singing, but I know that it’s only that I feel sorry for her. Well, and she’s not doing the ‘Awawawawawa’ thing so much. Crap. They’re going to send her. Not even Simon was mean to her. Yup. Predictable.

I can honestly see why people watch this garbage. Leukemia girl is going to Hollyweird with all the other ‘Awawawawwawa’ losers! Yay! So, there’s a commercial break, and I need to put the kiddo to bed. Now that I’m all geared up for shallow, glitzy shows of formulaic showmanship, I’ll be ready for the teleprompter’s state of the onion address! BRB!

THE ADDRESS -

Okie dokie. I’m baaaaaack! I got the kid in bed, and got my booze refill. Tonight, it’s Fighting Cock. Never heard of the stuff before, but it’s cheaper than the regular stuff and it just sounds redneck. On the tube, they’re showing all the politicos, commontatos, stuffed shirts, and talking heads. You know, we should ship all those people to another planet along with all the telephone cleaner type people so we can get on with life.

Oh, oh! Here HE comes! *clapping* *commontation* “mumble, mumble” Apparently, there’s not teleprompter in the crowd. I think I heard him say, “Hey, hey, hey!” Wow! What an orator! I shouldn’t get judgmental yet. He’ll give me plenty of ammo before this is over…

Unrelated note – I’m missing buttons. I was going to link ‘Fighting Cock’ to the Fighting Cock website, fightingcock.com, but I don’t have buttons! That’s weird! I’ll have to check and see if my wordpress installation is jacked up or something…

*Shaking hands* *clapping* *waving* “Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” “Thank YOU! Thank you.” *San Fran Nan introducing* *clapping* *clapping* “Thank you.” *clapping* You know, the first ten minutes could have been skipped. I just got to see Leukemia Girl and Terets (sp?) Boy sent to Hollyweird.. Oh, he’s reading his teleprompter!

*Stating the obvious…* *Trying to sound ironic…* *Citing history…* *Talking about Civil Rights…* *Speaking of the American Way, in a roundabout way, trying to claim some sort of credit…* *Trying to sound like Reagan…* *Blaming the last guy.*

I think it’s funny that he’s talking about how much debt we WERE in when he took office. That’s actually really freaking hilarious! “One in ten people can’t find work” That’s me, Mr. Obama! I’ve decided to make my own work! Tee hee! *he KNOWS our struggles and anxieties!* Ooooooooooooo! *He’s touching our hearts and appealing to our emotions.* (He doesn’t know this robot very well…) Now, he thinks he knows what we want and feel, and what we’re tired of. What he doesn’t realize is that we are just tired of hyper-leftism. Let’s get rid of big government, and I think we’ll all be happier.

Crap. I’m going to have to take a break. I’m only fifteen minutes in, and the kybard is about to catch on fire. His voice is making me try to misspell! BRB. “Never more hopeful about this nations bla bla bla than tonight.” *clapping* “Despite…” Srsly, BRB.

Well, I stepped out during the ’saved or created’ bit, and bit my tongue, and came in to clapping. Now, he’s talking about how he’s going to shore up small businesses. I’m not impressed. Tax incentive for businesses to develop new stuff. Yeah. He’s now talking New Deal crap. If a 60-year-old accountant loses his job, he’s not going to go to work building a highway. I’m not going to go to work building a new highway. That’s not my skill set. He’s talking about building up blue-collar labor. Gobama. I guess. “Werr gonna give these jobs to Americans,” he says. Or, the teleprompter says, anyway. “Who is pulling those strings?” I wonder.

He’s demanding a bill. He better not claim ’saving or creating’ my job. That’s all I’m trying to say. He’s again blaming the last administration.

That’s a lot of gray hair that wasn’t there this time last year. This job is killing our Undocumented Commander in Chief. I’m shocked at all the yes-men cheering in the crowd. They must have cherry-picked them. He’s making more promises he can’t deliver on. That kind of exemplifies this administration. “I’m going to make sure that everyone has affordable, high-quality healthcare. Watch me turn this water into wine.” Bla, bla, bla…

Blaming the former administration again. That’s getting really old. Blaming financial institutions. Nancy Pelosi looks like a cross between Golum and a chimpanzee. Joe Biden must have gotten botox this week. I think both of them did, actually. Now he’s talking about free energy and curing cancer. Nope. He’s not a megalomaniac. Not at all. “More jobs. Clean jobs. Green jobs.”

So much for Valentine’s Day. I’m sorry, Jenni. I wanted it to be something special. So much for that. It looks painful when Joe and Nancy smile. I expect their faces to crack off behind Teh One!. “Overwhelming scientific evidence on Climate Change.” Except for the fact that it’s not getting any warmer. And, the fact that the ‘evidence’ is apparently fabricated. But, we’re going to fix it anyway! And, we’re going to export! Even though they don’t WANT our goods. We’re going to DOUBLE our exports, apparently! –to other countries that don’t want our crap. –with a new committee! –seeking AGGRESSIVELY! Oooooooooo!

We’re going to make sure our trade partners play by the rules! *giving the camera the ‘loser’ symbol* We’re going to invest in skills and education. Does that mean that he’s going to re-educate me? NOW, they’re only going to reward success. No longer is this administration going to reward failure. NO MORE!!!!! *clapping* Now, he’s prattling about the success of our children. We better shore up their success, since they owe a f***ing LOT OF MONEY!!!! Money for schools! *yes-men applaud standing.*

$10,000 towards college? ZOMG! That pays for BOOKS! Yay! If you go into the bureaucracy, you don’t pay for skoolz! Now, he’s feeling the middle class through the Biden. “Biden mad! Biden smash!” Now, we’re talking about refinancing.

Yes, we’ve had some bank sending us threatening letters saying that we need to refinance. But, we’re the RESPONSIBLE people. We bought a modest house at a good interest rate, and we’re getting letters saying that we need to refinance. They word it like we aren’t in compliance. But, I digress…

He didn’t choose to tackle this issue ’cause it’s good politics. Healthcare, healthcare… *close up of the first Klingon bride* “She gets embarrassed.” I would too, Barry. I would too. They’re going to bring down the deficit by ONE TRILLION dollars over the next two decades! OMG!!!11!!!! If they could do three times that in the next three years, that would put us back to before the dumbass got elected!

Now, he’s talking doomsday if we don’t do what he says. Too bad he doesn’t have an actual doomsday device to hold us ransom. Healthcare, healthcare… He’s claiming that the doctorses and nurseseses like his plan. He’s saying that he’s open to other ideas. But, we know how this administration treats alternative ideas. *clapping, oh the mindless clapping…* “massive fiscal hole in which we find ourselves” …yeah, after spending like no administration since Ramesis II. (Still blaming the last administration.)

(Still blaming the last administration.) “BS, BS, BS, BS…” (still blaming the last administration.) Now, he’s acting like he feels for us commonfolk serfs again. Now, he’s going to freeze federal spending for three years, except for all the programs. Now, they’re going to go through the budget line by line, page by page. (not like they have for the bills past.) (Blaming the previous administration yet again.) “Bi-partisanship.” I really hate that word. It’s the new Washington buzz-word. (Blaming Bush again.)

NOW, he’s a proponent of pay-as-you-go. I wonder where that was in the first year… Now, he’s misrepresenting AND blaming the previous administration. NOW, he wants to try ’something new.’ I thought that was the bullet-point of his campaign. Then, it was just Chicago-style, deep-dish politics, right? But NOW, NOW – it’s going to be something new. That’s what he came to Washington to do. He waited a year to do it… He’s excluded lobbyists from his club (except for the ones he liked – then, he dropped the rope ladder for them).

Now, he’s urging for bi-partisanship, “Democrats and republicans!” Lather, rinse, repeat. Now, he wants transparency in spending. He said that we’d get that a year ago, but he says we’re going to get it now. What shall we get? “Now… …I’m not naive.” No, you’re a bastard child of an American teenage whore in Kenya. Oops. Did I really just write that? Now, he’s trying to go buddy-buddy with the Repubs by “speakin’ to both parties now.” No more grudgeses! Letz just pass all teh billz taht Nancy wantsez too! *nearly whispering* He’s trying to change the tone of American politics here.

Notes the Democratic majority. Addresses the Republicans and gives a guilt trip. He’s going to have a ‘meeting’ with all of them. No doubt, he’ll make them run the gauntlet and then do a keg stand before he’ll let them go home. Better bring your lube, Repubs! It’s going to be a rough ride. *Close-up of that dude named Janet Neopolitan – or whatever his name is* Who would name their son ‘Janet’ anyway? Now, he’s talking about all our boys dying overseas. And, how we’re going to finally send more soldiers to finish the job! We’re going to come together in London – finally! Whew! He finally inspires confidence!

As a candidate, he said he was going to end the war. Some years later, he might actually – that is his promise. We’re going to partner with the Iraqi people to end this war – just like we have been for several years now. The military brass don’t seem impressed, but the yes-men applaud standing. At long last, Obama will sign for more resources for the military. Our troops are going to come home from Iraq so they can go to Afghanistan instead.

What the hell is Michelle wearing? It kind of looks like a purple theater curtain… He’s comparing himself to Reagan again… Now, we’re going to be the leader among the countries and we’re going to punish those that don’t obey us. He accuses the right of things, and then he claims that’s exactly what he’s going to do. WTF is that? (Don’t make fun of him for saying ‘HIV-Aids.’ That’s the way it was written on the teleprompter.) Now, he’s saying that we’re wonderful because of Haiti. Granted, we’re doing some great stuff there, but I don’t think that has anything to do with him or his decisions.

“America must always stand on the side of freedom and human dignity. Always.” (Unless it was the last administration, of course.) Now, he cites the Constitution, as if he gives a s*** about that rag scrap of paper… Strengthened punishment of ‘hate’ crimes. Will repeal laws against gays in the military. The military brass seems unimpressed while the yes-men go wild. Women’s rights. Crowd goes wild. NOW we’re going to enforce immigration. NOW we are. That hasn’t been at the top of the Left’s agenda, but NOW we’re going there.

*Talking about ‘American’ values.* I’m not the only one that doubts his sense of ‘American’ values, am I? Careful ragging on the lobbyists, ‘Bama! Some of them are in your cabinet! “Not everyone believes…” We can change when we deliver YOU to the border! Now, he’s talking about doing what’s best for the next generation. Heh. He’s funny. I wonder if he knows how funny he is… We’re going back to the setbacks of American families this year. Hey Barry, I’ll trade you! I bet I could do a better job than you are! Let’s see if you could do what I am. *Tear-jerking stories and inspirational bromides about us as Americans*

“You don’t quit, and I don’t quit!”

“And God bless the United States of America!”

CONCLUSION -

I’m not sure he actually said anything there. –well, if you read between the lines, some of it had to do with cold-sweats after that election in Mass. I dunno. The talking heads are talking, the yes-men are yessing, and the politicians are politicing now. I kind of think that American Idol was more of an investment than what I just watched. I’m kind of impressed with the way my keyboarding has come along. Even with his fast-talking I think I could have actually transcribed it live if I had really wanted to. Maybe I should try to get a job for court transcription or something. Maybe I should run for office. All the politicians made it, and I think I’ve got a whole lot more to offer than the vast majority of those.

GODWIN’S LAW -

Anybody notice that David Axelrod kind of looks like Adolf Hitler? He ought to go with a shorter haircut and lose the mustache. Maybe I should go into business giving makeovers to politicians. So. Many. Possibilities. I think I’ll stick with the holster gig for now… G’nite, all!

Wai writes:

If you file for unemployment, you can probably get your state’s unemployment agency to pay for your college classes, if you meet the qualifications. And don’t think of it as “feeding off the system” because your former employer’s unemployment insurance payments to the state pays for these services, for the most part.

As for me, I finally got a job interview next week.

I would have never guessed that Wai was the Antichrist.

The thought of going back to school is becoming more and more plausible. I really am going to check and see what the laws in OK are. I hope your job interview goes well!

At work, I’ve been getting spam from what appears to be some kind of Russian dating site. I obviously have not followed the link, for fear of contracting some kind of digital disease. But, I’ve been giggling at the messages in the emails as I peruse my “Junk E-mail” folder. Here are a couple of gems:

Subject line:

If you are disappointed in its second half, bold, come in!

..and the body text:

I can do for you is – what can not no girl! Step to enter [web link redacted]

It cracks me up when spambot girls speak engrish! She sounds like a LOLcat!

Here’s another:

Subject line:

You feel lonely? “I’m too lonely, a friend of the other company?

(I love the superlative quotation mark!)

And, the body text:

Hey, why do not you write? You forgot about me? “I am very unhappy without you, remember me?” It’s me, Olga from Russia, Moscow, remember? I’m waiting for you on his page on the Internet, and miss you terribly!

Um… Olga *shuddering at the mental image of the woman that this name evokes* – srsly NOT interested!!! Whose page are you waiting on again? Maybe you should hit ‘him’ up. I prefer my women less digital and more familiar to me. In fact, I prefer my women in the singular, and I’m really quite happy actually. Thanks anyway.