Need a chuckle? Go read this. Jen emailed me the link this morning. It’s pretty much all the same talking points of the anti-gun crowd warmed over again. The author holds to the psychotic principal that we can stop the criminals by making there actions even more illegal than ever before.

He alleges that violent gun crime is running rampant in America without citing figures (as they tend to do). In reference to our very well-documented arguments that concealed weapons do indeed reduce violent crime, I will paraphrase his counter-argument to a sophisticated “Nuh-uh!” He says that it is an illogical stance and that we should prevent criminals from getting guns. He prattles on with his “There ought to be a law” attitude, missing the point that thousands of existing, restrictive gun laws are not doing any good, and completely writes off the natural deterrent of would-be criminals risking their life to violate others. That’s natural law right there.

It drives me nuts when these morons refuse to see that the stuff that they want to be illegal already is. There are sick people in the world that will do sick things to other people. Period. He writes about “violence enacted by guns” as though the little suckers go gallivanting about of their own free will, just looking for someone to shoot. Guns do not kill people. Gun operators kill people. Whether out of malice or negligence, it takes human interaction for a gun to become lethal. Well, almost always. All jokes aside, the gun has no will of its own. It has no hate, malice, or danger to enact on anyone or anything.

It is illegal for criminals to have guns. Criminals are people who break the law and do illegal things. More laws won’t keep them from getting guns. The criminals will simply break more laws. Even if you could somehow magically wipe the guns off the face of the planet, the sick people out there would find other ways. A tire iron will kill a victim. A rope, a stick, a bowling pin, a barbell, or even a hammer or screwdriver. There is a video at that last link, but I don’t recommend watching it. It is very gory and given the choice, I’d rather be shot dead than go through what those teens did to that man. I made it about two minutes in and thought I was going to be sick. My point is that there are weapons all around us. Most of them are less than ideal, certainly not so much as a gun, but will do the job in a pinch. The gun is not the danger in crime – the will to do harm is the danger. Take away guns, they will use knives. Take away knives, they will use something else.

He goes on to describe the Brady Campaign as ‘non-partisan’. I find myself giggling at anyone gushing over the Bradys.

He then cites the Westside School shooting as evidence of his anti-gun stance, and to argue that there should be tougher penalties. What he fails to mention is that it was in no way legal for these children to have guns. They stole guns, possessed them underage, illegally transported them, took them to a banned location, and committed murder. How much more illegal does it need to be to keep such things from happening? My solution – arm the staff. Arm the parents. When the little turds open fire, sixth grade teacher Shannon Wright returns fire, and the shooters die instead of her along with Natalie Brooks (age eleven), Paige Ann Herring (age twelve), Stephanie Johnson (age twelve), and Brittheny Varner (age eleven). Beyond what these two boys did, it is criminal that the five deceased had no defense whatsoever. It violates their God-given right to further life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, not to mention infringing their inalienable right to keep and bear arms.

Our author then cites the Binghamton NY shooting which claimed fourteen victims. Although a tragic case, it is another that suits the pro-gun argument far better. The shooter, Jiverly Voong could not legally obtain or possess guns. He had hardware that was not legal to possess in Binghamton (with upstate NY’s draconian gun laws). He transported illegally. Then, he committed murder. I wonder how many of those fourteen victims might be alive if there were a few good guys in the American Civic Association legally armed. I wonder if Voong would have bothered with his shooting if that had been a possibility.

This sentence is the real gem in the article that stands out to me:

Tragic calamities such as these beg the queWhy was an illegal immigrant able to obtain such deadly weapons so readily?

It’s actually a very good question. The answer is that when people are committed to a goal, they will find a way to achieve it. The United States is not unique in having a very healthy black market for guns. In fact, there are black market guns in countries where guns are completely banned from private possession.

The bottom line is this: Bad people do bad things. No amount of legislation is going to cure bad people. No amount of disarmament is going to fix them. At some point, the most reasonable solution is a .45-caliber slug in the brain stem. Guns are expensive. Ammunition prices grow faster than grass it seems. A good holster is worth its weight in gold, though I don’t charge that much. Training and practice take time and money. They are still far cheaper than trials for evil people, repeat offenses, and broken lives of innocent people. I pray to God that I never have to use my gun against another human being. But, I’m more willing to carry the scars from having taken another life than I am to bear the broken heart from losing my spouse or child, or to leave them without a husband and father.

BEFORE THE ADDRESS -

OK. First of all, it’s a quarter till the speech comes on. I only thought it fitting to watch on Fox. I mean, come on, right? So, anyhoo… It’s so freaking rare that I ever watch anything broadcast, it’s such a novelty that I turned on the TV ten minutes ago.

American Idol is on. What kind of ***t is this?!?!?!???!? I know that some people electively watch this garbage, but it’s seriously mundane! How could someone consciously subject them to this unless they are waiting for the next show to come on in twenty-five minutes? (Please, please don’t answer that.)

All the ’singers’ sound the same. I mean – THE. SAME. I know that there are styles that come and go, but be they men or women, boys or girls, they all sound EXACTLY the same! When they find out that they are going to Hollyweird, they flap their wrists in a frenzy as they fan away their tears. WTF is that?!?!?!

I mean they all that that little ‘Awawawawawa’ trill in their voices. If I had EVER and I mean EEEVVVEEERRRR performed any kind of music like that in my lifetime, I would have wound up with a teacher’s foot in my a-hole. The girls sing low, the boys sing high… Come to think of it, pop music hasn’t really changed much in the last twenty-five or so years…

I kind of like commercials as rarely as I ever see them anymore. Hyundai… *Well, that news girl is kind of hot – in a square-jawed, bite-it-off sort of severe way.* AI is back. She’s wearing PINK eyeshadow. I think her shorts are wider than they are long. Did I go to sleep normal and wake up a Puritan or am I just getting old in my non-TV-watching way? *This chick is TERRIBLE!*

The British dude is mean. She was bad, but she wasn’t abusively bad. Yeeeeeaaaahhhh… Melissa is getting drunk tonight. I bet she gives it up to the first dude that shows interest. That’s just sad. Simon! That’s his name!

Yup. This is tarded – all over again. I’m really ready for this crap to be over. But, this cancer chick is wearing a cute skirt. So, do they always show you some underdog that you have to feel sorry for on this God-forsaken show? Leukemia. Is that how that’s spelled? I feel compelled by her singing, but I know that it’s only that I feel sorry for her. Well, and she’s not doing the ‘Awawawawawa’ thing so much. Crap. They’re going to send her. Not even Simon was mean to her. Yup. Predictable.

I can honestly see why people watch this garbage. Leukemia girl is going to Hollyweird with all the other ‘Awawawawwawa’ losers! Yay! So, there’s a commercial break, and I need to put the kiddo to bed. Now that I’m all geared up for shallow, glitzy shows of formulaic showmanship, I’ll be ready for the teleprompter’s state of the onion address! BRB!

THE ADDRESS -

Okie dokie. I’m baaaaaack! I got the kid in bed, and got my booze refill. Tonight, it’s Fighting Cock. Never heard of the stuff before, but it’s cheaper than the regular stuff and it just sounds redneck. On the tube, they’re showing all the politicos, commontatos, stuffed shirts, and talking heads. You know, we should ship all those people to another planet along with all the telephone cleaner type people so we can get on with life.

Oh, oh! Here HE comes! *clapping* *commontation* “mumble, mumble” Apparently, there’s not teleprompter in the crowd. I think I heard him say, “Hey, hey, hey!” Wow! What an orator! I shouldn’t get judgmental yet. He’ll give me plenty of ammo before this is over…

Unrelated note – I’m missing buttons. I was going to link ‘Fighting Cock’ to the Fighting Cock website, fightingcock.com, but I don’t have buttons! That’s weird! I’ll have to check and see if my wordpress installation is jacked up or something…

*Shaking hands* *clapping* *waving* “Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” “Thank YOU! Thank you.” *San Fran Nan introducing* *clapping* *clapping* “Thank you.” *clapping* You know, the first ten minutes could have been skipped. I just got to see Leukemia Girl and Terets (sp?) Boy sent to Hollyweird.. Oh, he’s reading his teleprompter!

*Stating the obvious…* *Trying to sound ironic…* *Citing history…* *Talking about Civil Rights…* *Speaking of the American Way, in a roundabout way, trying to claim some sort of credit…* *Trying to sound like Reagan…* *Blaming the last guy.*

I think it’s funny that he’s talking about how much debt we WERE in when he took office. That’s actually really freaking hilarious! “One in ten people can’t find work” That’s me, Mr. Obama! I’ve decided to make my own work! Tee hee! *he KNOWS our struggles and anxieties!* Ooooooooooooo! *He’s touching our hearts and appealing to our emotions.* (He doesn’t know this robot very well…) Now, he thinks he knows what we want and feel, and what we’re tired of. What he doesn’t realize is that we are just tired of hyper-leftism. Let’s get rid of big government, and I think we’ll all be happier.

Crap. I’m going to have to take a break. I’m only fifteen minutes in, and the kybard is about to catch on fire. His voice is making me try to misspell! BRB. “Never more hopeful about this nations bla bla bla than tonight.” *clapping* “Despite…” Srsly, BRB.

Well, I stepped out during the ’saved or created’ bit, and bit my tongue, and came in to clapping. Now, he’s talking about how he’s going to shore up small businesses. I’m not impressed. Tax incentive for businesses to develop new stuff. Yeah. He’s now talking New Deal crap. If a 60-year-old accountant loses his job, he’s not going to go to work building a highway. I’m not going to go to work building a new highway. That’s not my skill set. He’s talking about building up blue-collar labor. Gobama. I guess. “Werr gonna give these jobs to Americans,” he says. Or, the teleprompter says, anyway. “Who is pulling those strings?” I wonder.

He’s demanding a bill. He better not claim ’saving or creating’ my job. That’s all I’m trying to say. He’s again blaming the last administration.

That’s a lot of gray hair that wasn’t there this time last year. This job is killing our Undocumented Commander in Chief. I’m shocked at all the yes-men cheering in the crowd. They must have cherry-picked them. He’s making more promises he can’t deliver on. That kind of exemplifies this administration. “I’m going to make sure that everyone has affordable, high-quality healthcare. Watch me turn this water into wine.” Bla, bla, bla…

Blaming the former administration again. That’s getting really old. Blaming financial institutions. Nancy Pelosi looks like a cross between Golum and a chimpanzee. Joe Biden must have gotten botox this week. I think both of them did, actually. Now he’s talking about free energy and curing cancer. Nope. He’s not a megalomaniac. Not at all. “More jobs. Clean jobs. Green jobs.”

So much for Valentine’s Day. I’m sorry, Jenni. I wanted it to be something special. So much for that. It looks painful when Joe and Nancy smile. I expect their faces to crack off behind Teh One!. “Overwhelming scientific evidence on Climate Change.” Except for the fact that it’s not getting any warmer. And, the fact that the ‘evidence’ is apparently fabricated. But, we’re going to fix it anyway! And, we’re going to export! Even though they don’t WANT our goods. We’re going to DOUBLE our exports, apparently! –to other countries that don’t want our crap. –with a new committee! –seeking AGGRESSIVELY! Oooooooooo!

We’re going to make sure our trade partners play by the rules! *giving the camera the ‘loser’ symbol* We’re going to invest in skills and education. Does that mean that he’s going to re-educate me? NOW, they’re only going to reward success. No longer is this administration going to reward failure. NO MORE!!!!! *clapping* Now, he’s prattling about the success of our children. We better shore up their success, since they owe a f***ing LOT OF MONEY!!!! Money for schools! *yes-men applaud standing.*

$10,000 towards college? ZOMG! That pays for BOOKS! Yay! If you go into the bureaucracy, you don’t pay for skoolz! Now, he’s feeling the middle class through the Biden. “Biden mad! Biden smash!” Now, we’re talking about refinancing.

Yes, we’ve had some bank sending us threatening letters saying that we need to refinance. But, we’re the RESPONSIBLE people. We bought a modest house at a good interest rate, and we’re getting letters saying that we need to refinance. They word it like we aren’t in compliance. But, I digress…

He didn’t choose to tackle this issue ’cause it’s good politics. Healthcare, healthcare… *close up of the first Klingon bride* “She gets embarrassed.” I would too, Barry. I would too. They’re going to bring down the deficit by ONE TRILLION dollars over the next two decades! OMG!!!11!!!! If they could do three times that in the next three years, that would put us back to before the dumbass got elected!

Now, he’s talking doomsday if we don’t do what he says. Too bad he doesn’t have an actual doomsday device to hold us ransom. Healthcare, healthcare… He’s claiming that the doctorses and nurseseses like his plan. He’s saying that he’s open to other ideas. But, we know how this administration treats alternative ideas. *clapping, oh the mindless clapping…* “massive fiscal hole in which we find ourselves” …yeah, after spending like no administration since Ramesis II. (Still blaming the last administration.)

(Still blaming the last administration.) “BS, BS, BS, BS…” (still blaming the last administration.) Now, he’s acting like he feels for us commonfolk serfs again. Now, he’s going to freeze federal spending for three years, except for all the programs. Now, they’re going to go through the budget line by line, page by page. (not like they have for the bills past.) (Blaming the previous administration yet again.) “Bi-partisanship.” I really hate that word. It’s the new Washington buzz-word. (Blaming Bush again.)

NOW, he’s a proponent of pay-as-you-go. I wonder where that was in the first year… Now, he’s misrepresenting AND blaming the previous administration. NOW, he wants to try ’something new.’ I thought that was the bullet-point of his campaign. Then, it was just Chicago-style, deep-dish politics, right? But NOW, NOW – it’s going to be something new. That’s what he came to Washington to do. He waited a year to do it… He’s excluded lobbyists from his club (except for the ones he liked – then, he dropped the rope ladder for them).

Now, he’s urging for bi-partisanship, “Democrats and republicans!” Lather, rinse, repeat. Now, he wants transparency in spending. He said that we’d get that a year ago, but he says we’re going to get it now. What shall we get? “Now… …I’m not naive.” No, you’re a bastard child of an American teenage whore in Kenya. Oops. Did I really just write that? Now, he’s trying to go buddy-buddy with the Repubs by “speakin’ to both parties now.” No more grudgeses! Letz just pass all teh billz taht Nancy wantsez too! *nearly whispering* He’s trying to change the tone of American politics here.

Notes the Democratic majority. Addresses the Republicans and gives a guilt trip. He’s going to have a ‘meeting’ with all of them. No doubt, he’ll make them run the gauntlet and then do a keg stand before he’ll let them go home. Better bring your lube, Repubs! It’s going to be a rough ride. *Close-up of that dude named Janet Neopolitan – or whatever his name is* Who would name their son ‘Janet’ anyway? Now, he’s talking about all our boys dying overseas. And, how we’re going to finally send more soldiers to finish the job! We’re going to come together in London – finally! Whew! He finally inspires confidence!

As a candidate, he said he was going to end the war. Some years later, he might actually – that is his promise. We’re going to partner with the Iraqi people to end this war – just like we have been for several years now. The military brass don’t seem impressed, but the yes-men applaud standing. At long last, Obama will sign for more resources for the military. Our troops are going to come home from Iraq so they can go to Afghanistan instead.

What the hell is Michelle wearing? It kind of looks like a purple theater curtain… He’s comparing himself to Reagan again… Now, we’re going to be the leader among the countries and we’re going to punish those that don’t obey us. He accuses the right of things, and then he claims that’s exactly what he’s going to do. WTF is that? (Don’t make fun of him for saying ‘HIV-Aids.’ That’s the way it was written on the teleprompter.) Now, he’s saying that we’re wonderful because of Haiti. Granted, we’re doing some great stuff there, but I don’t think that has anything to do with him or his decisions.

“America must always stand on the side of freedom and human dignity. Always.” (Unless it was the last administration, of course.) Now, he cites the Constitution, as if he gives a s*** about that rag scrap of paper… Strengthened punishment of ‘hate’ crimes. Will repeal laws against gays in the military. The military brass seems unimpressed while the yes-men go wild. Women’s rights. Crowd goes wild. NOW we’re going to enforce immigration. NOW we are. That hasn’t been at the top of the Left’s agenda, but NOW we’re going there.

*Talking about ‘American’ values.* I’m not the only one that doubts his sense of ‘American’ values, am I? Careful ragging on the lobbyists, ‘Bama! Some of them are in your cabinet! “Not everyone believes…” We can change when we deliver YOU to the border! Now, he’s talking about doing what’s best for the next generation. Heh. He’s funny. I wonder if he knows how funny he is… We’re going back to the setbacks of American families this year. Hey Barry, I’ll trade you! I bet I could do a better job than you are! Let’s see if you could do what I am. *Tear-jerking stories and inspirational bromides about us as Americans*

“You don’t quit, and I don’t quit!”

“And God bless the United States of America!”

CONCLUSION -

I’m not sure he actually said anything there. –well, if you read between the lines, some of it had to do with cold-sweats after that election in Mass. I dunno. The talking heads are talking, the yes-men are yessing, and the politicians are politicing now. I kind of think that American Idol was more of an investment than what I just watched. I’m kind of impressed with the way my keyboarding has come along. Even with his fast-talking I think I could have actually transcribed it live if I had really wanted to. Maybe I should try to get a job for court transcription or something. Maybe I should run for office. All the politicians made it, and I think I’ve got a whole lot more to offer than the vast majority of those.

GODWIN’S LAW -

Anybody notice that David Axelrod kind of looks like Adolf Hitler? He ought to go with a shorter haircut and lose the mustache. Maybe I should go into business giving makeovers to politicians. So. Many. Possibilities. I think I’ll stick with the holster gig for now… G’nite, all!

Just like clockwork, I fill up the gas tank on our car every five days. I have pushed it to six from time to time, but it seems that when I do that, I’m sweating over the tank light until I make it to the gas station. On the down side, the engine has an 11:1 compression ratio, and doesn’t run worth a crap on anything short of premuim. On the up-side, the tank only holds twelve gallons, and the car sips on that at an average of 26.5-mpg. Yesterday was the day in question when it was time to fill up.

The station that I prefer to go to is near Jenni’s office, but it’s kind of a rough corner. It’s not that I ever fully let my guard down – I’m just not the kind of person that ever takes it for granted that I’m ’safe’, but I have my more relaxed moments and my more guarded moments. When I’m at this gas station in particular, I’m usually on high-alert, carefully observing everything happening around me.

While I was filling the tank, I noted the other cars and drivers in the parking lot and at the pumps. It’s funny that the people I notice don’t necessarily seem to notice me there. I watched a silver Pontiac Vibe pull into the parking lot and up to the ‘FREE AIR’ compressor thingy. I watched as a mid-thirties, brunette girl stepped from the car, wearing a pair of khaki-colored pants and an unprinted, white T-shirt. This struck me as odd, since it was close to freezing, if not below. When she turned to close her door, I saw a full-sized, polymer semi-automatic in a belt holster on her right side.

It appeared to be a S&W M&P or something similar. The magazine floor plate looked like the M&P’s anyway, but I was trying my very hardest not to stare. I glanced around the parking lot, and it was very clear that nobody else had noticed. I looked back in her direction, and she had turned so that I could only see her left side, and the gun was out of sight. For a fraction of a second, I wondered if I had imagined it – until she turned with the air hose in her hand and I caught a full view of the profile of her sidearm again. Once she was done airing up her tires, she pulled around to a gas pump and proceeded to fill up her tank. I left the gas station while she was doing this.

When I picked up Jenni from her office, I told her about the whole experience. She said that it didn’t really surprise her, as she’s seen many people in that little part of town open carrying. She noted that they are usually young women alone, or people on motorcycles. Personally, I can fully understand why anyone on a bike, or without some kind of group support would want to be armed in this neighborhood. Honestly, that’s a big reason that I got my CCW permit – most places that I hang around are extremely safe, but I do pass through other areas that raise my red flags.

Having said all that, public open carry is explicitly illegal in the State of Oklahoma. I know people do it, because I’ve seen people do it on multiple occasions. Working retail, I had a salty, old, regular customer who kept a nickled revolver on his hip at all times, and in plain sight. And then, I’ve had many experiences like the one yesterday, where I’ve witnessed an ununiformed individual openly packing heat. (Maybe that’s why she was down to her T-shirt in freezing temperatures! ) In any case, I have to wonder how people get away with it. You don’t just wander around, obviously breaking the law as a lifestyle and still not get caught. I could understand how someone might do it out of ignorance, but that would only last until the inevitable confrontation with law enforcement. Perhaps they know some kind of obscure, legal loophole that has so far evaded me? There has been a pretty hard push to legalize open carry in the state, perhaps these people are deliberately breaking the law as a protest to that end? In any case, it does boggle the mind.

So, the truth comes out. For those of us that read what the IRS had to say about the legislation in the first place, we knew that we would be responsible for ‘paying back’ the ’stimulus’ money at the end of the year, anyway. So, this is not news. Here are some gems in the above article and my comments on them:

And that could force some people to repay what the government gave them.

That who did what?!?!? That mentality really pisses me off! The government didn’t give anybody anything. They simply delayed the inevitable theft that they call income tax. This is the administration ‘giving’ you your own money and expecting to be thanked for the ‘gift’ before they turn around and take it back from you. Many of us have expected no different of the current administration.

Sen. Chuck Grassley of Iowa, the senior Republican on the Senate Finance Committee, called problems with the tax credit “another unfortunate example of what can happen when Congress and the White House rush through legislation like the stimulus without thinking through the consequences.”

No ****, Sherlock.

Separately, the IRS estimated that about 65,000 taxpayers could face penalties for not withholding enough taxes in 2009 because of the Making Work Pay tax credit. However, those taxpayers will be eligible to have the penalty waived, IRS spokeswoman Michelle Eldridge said.

Awe, that’s real sweet of them, isn’t it?

The Low Men in the current administration, including but not limited to San Fran Nan, Bawney Fwank, the ‘Czars’, and basically the entire Obama freak show are scoundrels and knaves. As Bawney Fwank said himself, “We are trying on every front to increase the role of government.” Actually, it was, “We awe twying on ebwy fwont to incwease da woll ov gobewnment.” There. I fixed it. Debacles such as this deal with the IRS withholding tables are par for the course when the government gets its sticky fingers in our personal business. I shall cite Social Security and the USPS as great examples of government involvement. According to the last statement that I got from the SS, if I hold out to retire when I’m 68, my government-imposed retirement plan will pay me about $1,800.00 a month. Given the rate of inflation, what will that be worth in the year 2046? Besides that, I think they’re being quite optimistic with that number, considering the system is basically bankrupt anyway. I like to think of it as the Flushing Toilet Retirement Plan. Yeah, the USPS isn’t doing so hot either, hence the ‘forever stamp‘ and its sliding scale of constant price increase. *Insert slide whistle noise.*

The last time we had a serious recession, we had a great man in the White House, who history remembers as being a great president. I will close with a quote from him.

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’

–Ronald Reagan

And, just for bonus tickles, here’s the most appropriate Beatles song for the subject at hand:

Instinct pointed me to this page on the failblog in an email.

That just about sums up the naivety of the anti-gun crowd. How different is it from this?

For both my readers, I know I’m preaching to the choir. But, I’ve got to rant from time to time. It seems that some people are so deluded that they think they can keep some people from criminal actions by asking them not to – or by making those criminal actions doubly illegal. You can’t stop criminals by making their actions illegallererer. That’s not how it works. It’s not like the bad guy will see the sign on the door, stop in his tracks, and wander away dejectedly.

It’s already illegal to perform unjust violent acts. The criminal mind doesn’t care. A gun is a tool that a criminal may use to perform such acts. Such use of the tool is criminally illegal. A gun is also a tool that may be used to prevent such occurrences when a police officer is on the way – or not.

Much legislation has been put in place that makes obtaining a gun much more of a hassle. There was a time (that some still living people can attest to) in which you could walk into Sears or Montgomery Ward and walk out with a shiny new gun. You could even mail-order guns from the back of a magazine. It wasn’t all that long ago that you could purchase a gun at the local drug store with just the exchange of money – no paperwork needed apply. Has the legislation kept the guns out of unsavory hands? No. Will further legislation? No. If they were to pass a blanket ban on guns, the criminals would still have them. The biggest difference is that decent people like you and I would not – because we are decent, law-abiding people.

Yesterday, I was thinking about all of this in reference to the automotive industry. My brother has said on multiple occasions that he uses wheel locks on his car, because it keeps the honest people from stealing your wheels. I personally have taken wheel locks off of cars without the wheel key. Don’t worry, I used to be a mechanic. Most people can’t keep track of the key, so the locks have to be busted off by creative means at one time or another. It’s not that hard even.

The first few cars were made in such a way that they had absolutely no security or safety features whatsoever. Nobody had thought of anything like that. Cars were such a novel thing that only the rich had them, and most people didn’t have a clue how to operate them, so they wouldn’t steal them. They didn’t go very fast, so the dangers of accidents were muted.

Today, to keep criminals from stealing our cars, we have alarms and tamper-resistant locks. Some vehicles have OnStar, which can locate an individual vehicle and shut it down if need be. We have computerized keys that interface with the lock cylinder in both the old-fashioned, mechanical pin against key tooth method, and with a computer in the car that recognizes an imprinted chip in the key. If one or the other of these features is not present in the key, the car is designed to not operate. We have wheel locks, electric door locks that lack external key cylinders, The Club, and any number of anti-theft devices. Will any of that absolutely keep your car from being stolen? No. Not a chance. There are enterprising criminals that can bypass each and every or all of these and more. These devices simply keep the honest people honest.

When I park my car, I park it in plain view so that if any criminal got any ideas, he’d have an audience to his actions. I lock the doors, because criminals usually take the path of least resistance and won’t jimmy a car door if they have a better opportunity. I don’t leave valuable-looking stuff in plain sight in the vehicle, so it doesn’t look worth breaking into, and I don’t leave actually valuable stuff in an unattended car if I can help it, so if someone breaks in, the losses will be limited.

To keep us safe, we have crumple-zones that sacrificially reduce impact to the passenger cabin. We have three-point, auto-tensioning seat belts that will lock if the car stops too suddenly. Some of these seat belts have pyrotechnic rewind units that will actually pull us harder into the seat if the body structure is compromised. Similarly, if the body buckles, we have air bags that will deploy in front of us, and beside us, to lessen cranial stress in the event of an accident. Cars are often equipped with traction control that make them harder to lose control of, and I don’t think there’s a car manufactured for the U. S. market anymore that is not equipped with sophisticated, computer-controlled anti-lock brakes that are designed to make the car easier to stop in an emergency maneuver. BMW and other premium brands even have optional night vision systems that warn the driver of obstacles that they may not otherwise be able to see in the dark.

Do people still have accidents? Absolutely. Do people still die in automotive accidents? If you watch the news, you know the answer is yes. Chances are, you have known someone who has died in an accident in the last five years. You may not have been close to them, but it’s not at all an uncommon thing to happen.

This is why we use our seat belts and don’t drive excessively fast. We use our turn signals so other drivers can better predict what’s about to happen in traffic. This is why we check our mirrors, and our blind spots. A responsible driver is aware of the cars all around him, and is constantly making predictions as to what those other drivers are going to do. When I see a large vehicle piloted by a stressed-looking driver, on the phone, swerving from lane to lane, driving as fast as they possibly can, I steer clear. They are obviously not going to take the care of my safety like I am.

Some of these mentioned were imposed by government regulation and others are features that the manufactures independently developed to make their products more attractive to the consumer. With both the safety features and the security features built into modern automobiles, they can be argued as positive improvements. Each of them does serve a purpose, but not without pitfalls. I’ve had to chase wiring problems that arose from faulty security systems that had cars dead in their tracks. If your car has no key hole on its exterior and the battery goes dead, you’re in trouble. As I mentioned before, if you lose your wheel lock key, it can be quite the pain to get the locks off. Anti-lock brakes and traction control are frowned upon by some aficionados of driving, because they impede certain characteristics of high-performance driving. When your car is fitted with a system that can shut it down from a remote location, you have relinquished a certain amount of control over your property.

With rare exception, Smith & Wesson installs a lock on nearly every one of their new revolvers. These locks are known to spontaneously lock up the gun’s action while firing on occasion. It’s a rare occurrence, and most owners of new Smith & Wesson revolvers will never experience it. But, since the possibility exists, many people refuse to carry these fine machines as defensive tools. I personally abhor what I like to call ‘deliberate’ safeties on guns. I really don’t mind the trigger safeties on Glocks, S&W M&Ps, as well as other firearms, or the grip safety like you will find on a XD or a standard 1911. But, I hate a manual safety lever. God forbid I should ever have to use a hand gun in the act of defense, I don’t want to have to do anything beyond sighting and pulling the trigger, in order to get that first shot off.

The anti crowd would like to see more stringent safety devices on guns, and would like to see the gun manufacturers held criminally liable for the illegal use of their products. This would be like someone suing Ford because their daughter died when she ran her Mustang off a bridge, or because the getaway driver was in an E150, for that matter! The anti’s would like to make it even harder for decent people to obtain guns, and the licensure to carry them. With the idiots I see on the road, it seems that it’s only gotten easier to obtain a driver’s license! The antis would ultimately like to ban guns altogether, which would still not prevent gun crimes. All we have to do is look to Mexico for an example of that.

I’ve got to stop this rant somewhere, and I suppose this is as good a place as any. I have said and written it many times before, but I will close with this thought: When people comment to me that guns are scary because they kill people, I simply answer, “None of mine have.” That usually provokes some much needed thought.

This just popped into my head the other day. What is up with the grouping together of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms, anyway? I’ve read people saying that it sounds like their favorite store, not a gubermint agency – and that’s funny, but I have a different thought.

I can have a lot of fun running a shotgun or rifle at the range with both hands, or I can have a handgun in either hand on a course that I’ve set up out in the field. I’ll shoot the targets on my right with my right hand, then I’ll shoot the targets on the left with my left hand. After I’ve had my shooty fun, cleaned and put the guns away, I can sit out in the evening with a single-malt scotch in one hand and a hand-rolled maduro cigar in the other and be as happy as a pig in s**t.

If God had wanted alcohol, tobacco, and firearms to be all together, he would have given me four hands. I’m just saying.

I try to keep my keyboarding fingers clean from most of what’s going on politically, and leave politics to the pros. I have my convictions, thoughts, and opinions, but there are some who are far more studious on such things. Every now and then however, I’ve got to say something. This is one of those times.

The ‘cash for clunkers’ program will prove to be one, big, epic, circle-jerking FAIL. People who bought cars during this particular program were going to buy a car within the next few years anyway. That means that the cars that they bought to get their $4,500 Federal Cheese are simply a loan from the future of the industry, as those cars will not be purchased when they would have been in the next few years. Plus, because of the way the rules read, there were a lot of people who wound up buying economical imports rather than keeping the money in our own economy. So basically, instead of people supporting our market in the coming years, they’ve been bribed with tax dollars to pump that money to foreign shores. Brilliant!

Enter Sig Sauer. I got an email offer from them last night concerning their new promotion, “CA$H for your KLUNKER HANDGUN“. Apparently, some snarky dude in Sig Sauer’s marketing department decided that it would be a great idea to poke fun at the U. S. federal government for the profit of the company. The rules seem to paraphrase as: If you trade in an operational handgun of at least 9mm or .38 Spl caliber, they will give you a $200.00 cash rebate when you purchase a new Sig. So, if you have a beat-up Charter Arms that you’d like to upgrade from, why not trade it in on a new P250? I love it!

Go read this article. It is worth the laugh. (Thank you, Breda!)

Allow me to share some of the gems:

Mayor Byron Brown said, “We will get anything from long guns rifles, AK-47’s, oozies, so we have gotten those assault weapons.”

Translation: ‘long gun rifles’ = Super Soaker, ‘AK-47′ = Nerf Dart Blaster, ‘oozies’: Home Depot brand caulk gun. In truth, most of the guns were simply children’s toys, but the authorities and media have nearly no experience with actual firearms, so we can’t really blame them for the confusion.

“I found the pistol in my backyard and I found the sawed off shotgun in my trailer in the middle of winter,” he said.
He doesn’t know what they were used for but doesn’t want them near his home.

Not going to take them to the police, like he should have, but definitely, definitely doesn’t want them near his home when he can get $100.00 for them!

“The reason I brought them in is because I have a 9 year old and a stepson that was shot with a handgun, quite a few years ago and he survived,” Holiday exclaimed.

So, he needs a bigger handgun to shoot his stepson with? What is he trying to tell us here?

So far there have been more homicides this year than in all of last year.

…with a rapidly shrinking number of legal guns in the area, but that couldn’t possibly be a valid correlation, could it?

Surveillance video shows a passenger holding what appears to be a gun but the suspect has not been caught.

‘Appears’, huh? So, who knows? Maybe he was holding a kitten…

I’m shocked by the lack of intelligence in this op ed. No, on second thought, I’ve seen the wonderful stuff that’s been coming from the major media recently. God help us all!

UPDATE!!! *cheesy telegraph sound*

Sometime in the last few hours, they corrected their misspelling from ‘oozies’ to ‘uzis’, which thinly veils their complete and utter ignorance concerning firearms. I still think they got confused concerning the identity of an old caulk gun, but that’s just my opinion.

You know, I’m not too big to say I was wrong. Back in November, I was telling everyone I knew how I wanted to be wrong about the newly elected. I thought he was a typical, Chicago-style, deep-dish, corrupt politician that would make promises and back-pedal out of promising that which was impossible to deliver, or just because he didn’t mean it when he promised them. But, this morning, look what I found on my porch:

unicorn

OMG!!!! I thought that our undocumented-in-chief would send his knee-breakers to hunt me down for my dissent. But instead, he wins me over, offering me the olive branch in the form of this mythological creature! And, it has healing powers! It’s like the bestest health-care evah! It has healed my soul. *sigh.*

All seriousness aside, I found out by reading my wife’s blog that Chuck Norris is pissed off at the new health care bill. So, to those of us who think it’s another smoke-screened conglomeration of lib-turd pet-projects, no need to worry! They pissed off the Chuck! He’ll doubtlessly be in D. C. to kick some flabby, corrupt butt before we know it! Problem solved!

I had a dream last night that I was the White House cook. Mr. and Mrs. Obama and Sasha and Malia were all seated at the table with places set, ready for their meal. The plates and flatware were arranged, wine was served, candles were lit. My staff and I came out from the kitchen with covered trays, ready to serve the feast. The eyes of the first family settled on us as we entered. We placed the trays on the table, and the president picked up his fork and knife in anticipation. Several of my staff and I pulled the lids off the trays in unison, releasing a bit of steam from dinner.

Mr. Obama’s face went first from anticipation to confusion. Then it went to realization, shock, and anger. He dropped his silverware and pushed out of his chair, spilling his glass. He threw his napkin to the ground and spun at me. The first lady pushed her chair back and turned her head with a look of nausea on her face. The girls wrinkled their little noses and squealed in disgust.

“What is THIS?” he loudly demanded.

I nervously replied, “What do you mean? What’s wrong?”

“Is this supposed to be some kind of JOKE?” He howled, “What have you served to my family?”

I pointed at the trays, each in turn and explained, “That is potatoes au gratin, and that is asparagus, here’s the bread, and of course the free-range duckling. All of it is organic, and we digested it ourselves, just for you!”

“It’s CRAP!” He screamed, “How DARE you serve me and my family CRAP?!?!?”

I backed a step, “Sir, I’m not sure ‘crap’ is quite the proper term, and I thought you would be pleased.”

“‘Pleased’? What in the world would make you think that I would be pleased?”

“The Golden Rule,” I replied, “You want to force my family and I into the same, inferior health care as Cuba and Canada, because you don’t trust me to take care of the health and medicine of my family for myself. You push a rushed bill that is merely a conglomeration of left-wing pet projects that will shackle people like me with debt for generations, and call it ’stimulus.’ You think so low of people like me that we couldn’t possibly be trusted with our own defense against those that would seek to hurt us, or to realize that Guantanamo is a red herring that means nothing to you, or that I could possibly know how to properly spend my own paycheck.

“I simply thought that you would appreciate it if your dinner had already been digested for your convenience, considering the fact that you seem to think the American People are incapable of doing anything for themselves, and continue to push crap legislation that is advertised as beneficial. Was I mistaken?”