Need a chuckle? Go read this. Jen emailed me the link this morning. It’s pretty much all the same talking points of the anti-gun crowd warmed over again. The author holds to the psychotic principal that we can stop the criminals by making there actions even more illegal than ever before.

He alleges that violent gun crime is running rampant in America without citing figures (as they tend to do). In reference to our very well-documented arguments that concealed weapons do indeed reduce violent crime, I will paraphrase his counter-argument to a sophisticated “Nuh-uh!” He says that it is an illogical stance and that we should prevent criminals from getting guns. He prattles on with his “There ought to be a law” attitude, missing the point that thousands of existing, restrictive gun laws are not doing any good, and completely writes off the natural deterrent of would-be criminals risking their life to violate others. That’s natural law right there.

It drives me nuts when these morons refuse to see that the stuff that they want to be illegal already is. There are sick people in the world that will do sick things to other people. Period. He writes about “violence enacted by guns” as though the little suckers go gallivanting about of their own free will, just looking for someone to shoot. Guns do not kill people. Gun operators kill people. Whether out of malice or negligence, it takes human interaction for a gun to become lethal. Well, almost always. All jokes aside, the gun has no will of its own. It has no hate, malice, or danger to enact on anyone or anything.

It is illegal for criminals to have guns. Criminals are people who break the law and do illegal things. More laws won’t keep them from getting guns. The criminals will simply break more laws. Even if you could somehow magically wipe the guns off the face of the planet, the sick people out there would find other ways. A tire iron will kill a victim. A rope, a stick, a bowling pin, a barbell, or even a hammer or screwdriver. There is a video at that last link, but I don’t recommend watching it. It is very gory and given the choice, I’d rather be shot dead than go through what those teens did to that man. I made it about two minutes in and thought I was going to be sick. My point is that there are weapons all around us. Most of them are less than ideal, certainly not so much as a gun, but will do the job in a pinch. The gun is not the danger in crime – the will to do harm is the danger. Take away guns, they will use knives. Take away knives, they will use something else.

He goes on to describe the Brady Campaign as ‘non-partisan’. I find myself giggling at anyone gushing over the Bradys.

He then cites the Westside School shooting as evidence of his anti-gun stance, and to argue that there should be tougher penalties. What he fails to mention is that it was in no way legal for these children to have guns. They stole guns, possessed them underage, illegally transported them, took them to a banned location, and committed murder. How much more illegal does it need to be to keep such things from happening? My solution – arm the staff. Arm the parents. When the little turds open fire, sixth grade teacher Shannon Wright returns fire, and the shooters die instead of her along with Natalie Brooks (age eleven), Paige Ann Herring (age twelve), Stephanie Johnson (age twelve), and Brittheny Varner (age eleven). Beyond what these two boys did, it is criminal that the five deceased had no defense whatsoever. It violates their God-given right to further life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, not to mention infringing their inalienable right to keep and bear arms.

Our author then cites the Binghamton NY shooting which claimed fourteen victims. Although a tragic case, it is another that suits the pro-gun argument far better. The shooter, Jiverly Voong could not legally obtain or possess guns. He had hardware that was not legal to possess in Binghamton (with upstate NY’s draconian gun laws). He transported illegally. Then, he committed murder. I wonder how many of those fourteen victims might be alive if there were a few good guys in the American Civic Association legally armed. I wonder if Voong would have bothered with his shooting if that had been a possibility.

This sentence is the real gem in the article that stands out to me:

Tragic calamities such as these beg the queWhy was an illegal immigrant able to obtain such deadly weapons so readily?

It’s actually a very good question. The answer is that when people are committed to a goal, they will find a way to achieve it. The United States is not unique in having a very healthy black market for guns. In fact, there are black market guns in countries where guns are completely banned from private possession.

The bottom line is this: Bad people do bad things. No amount of legislation is going to cure bad people. No amount of disarmament is going to fix them. At some point, the most reasonable solution is a .45-caliber slug in the brain stem. Guns are expensive. Ammunition prices grow faster than grass it seems. A good holster is worth its weight in gold, though I don’t charge that much. Training and practice take time and money. They are still far cheaper than trials for evil people, repeat offenses, and broken lives of innocent people. I pray to God that I never have to use my gun against another human being. But, I’m more willing to carry the scars from having taken another life than I am to bear the broken heart from losing my spouse or child, or to leave them without a husband and father.

Overall impression:

In a nutshell, this movie was made to make Sylvester Stallone feel like a bad-ass action hero one last time before his 65th birthday. The previews boast of a cast full of past and present action movie actors. In reality, several of those were no more than brief cameos. The screenplay was co-written by Stallone, who also co-produced, directed, and starred in the film. Yeah, this flick was basically his way of junk-greasing his own ego. It looks like his last hurrah, and seems like he wanted to take out as many action actors as he could with him. I shall henceforth refer to the film as “The Expendable Movie”.

What Happens:

The exhaustive storyline is that a group of elite-force type mercenaries (The Expendables) are contracted to overthrow a dictator of a banana republic (El General). Said dictator is largely a puppet leader backed by a jilted CIA agent gone drug lord. Stallone and another member of The Expendables scout out the island to determine whether the job pays well enough for the work that it will take to complete. In the process, they meet the beautiful daughter of the General and are found out by the bad guys. They leave a swath of fire-storm fed destruction across the island and determine that the job is not worth the money. Once back at home, Stallone has a pang of conscience and decides that he must save the girl. Meanwhile, an unstable Dolph Lundgren who was just excused from The Expendables is contracted by the General and the former CIA dude to infiltrate and exterminate his former boss, Stallone. A fight on home turf ensues ending in the apparent death of Lundgren’s character. With his last breath, he repents to Stallone and tells him everything. Meanwhile, Jason Statham’s character discovers that his girlfriend has taken to another man in his most recent, month long, mysterious absence. Stallone announces that he is going back to the island and nobody else needs to feel obligated to do so. Predictably, the entire team assembles to aid his invasion. On their second trip to the island, they load everything up with C4 (which magically appears in armloads when they are ready to administer it), and kill bad guys with an assortment of weapons that share a triangular range between standard U.S.G.I.-, gun range mall ninja, and silly exaggeration of Future Weapons. There’s quite a bit of a fist fight between Stallone and Steve Austin. When our heroes are cornered between the ex-CIA’s men and the General’s soldiers, the General himself makes a statement (directly over them no less) to his men that he’s had a change of heart and plans on kicking out the Americans that have oppressed them (presumably CIA dude and his cronies). Former CIA dude chose this moment to assassinate the General, and all hell breaks loose. The Expendables are caught in a three-way battle between the soldiers and the American gang. This is when Stallone pulls out a rather large detonator switch (which must have been uncomfortably hidden in an orifice somewhere), and the rest of the movie is basically explosions, burning puddles of fuel, and raw body count. In the end, our heroes have lost no men (including Lundgren, who has a miraculous recovery and turns back to the proverbial Light Side of The Force), and Stallone saves the day. The singular surprise in the ‘plot’ is that he didn’t kiss the girl when he was leaving the island, but did promise that he would return. She was presumably left behind to cure the ills of her home with her pure heart and wise leadership. Upon their return, Statham finds that his replacement has hit his ex-girlfriend. So, he goes to the playground and beats him up along with the other bullies. That’s about it. After about the first ten minutes of set up, there are no surprises, but the entire screenplay kind of flows in all the most obvious directions. Well, besides Stallone not making out with a woman a third of his age – I really didn’t see that coming, given the context of his character.

Notable Characters:

Sylvester Stallone has never been an attractive man, in my opinion. But, he has really not aged well. His characteristic saggy eyes, crooked nose, and Novocain lip are even more pronounced in The Expendable Movie. In the film, Sly plays Barney Ross, leader of the mercenaries. He’s a caricature of a big action hero, with old skin stretched over it. He’s a tattooed, motorcycling, jewelry-wearing, gun blasting bad boy who can pull himself out of the water into a lifting-off airplane by its door-frame while wearing body armor. He dual-wields a pair of 1911s and has a SA revolver which he carries in a SOB holster which he’ll whip out to palm-fan a last-resort burst of lead at the bad guy. Carrying his M4 rifle, as with his 1911s, he aimlessly, carelessly, and wildly waves the muzzle around. Rarely does he ever appear to look for a sight picture or even pretend to exercise any kind of trigger control. This is of course consistent with Stallone’s typical, sociopathic, Hollyweird liberal, double standard on guns – even though he’s good enough to carry a gun, nobody else is. Although in his mid-60’s, it takes help from multiple men for Steve Austin overpower the grunting and snorting Stallone. Many of the other characters spend much of the movie talking about how big and bad he is. This was actually some of the better acting that I’ve seen from Stallone, which isn’t saying much.

Bruce Willis, playing Mr. Church meets with Stallone and Arnold Schwartzenegger playing Trench for a short scene towards the beginning of the film. Church presumably represents the CIA and wants to hire a team of mercenaries to flush the island dictator. Trench is the leader of a rival team. Church wanted to meet with the two of them to determine who would be best for the job. There was a little playful banter between Stallone and The Governator, and Willis got in a few pointed threatening statements, but that was about it for these two big names in the film. I imagine that Stallone dragged on the pants leg of each of these men for weeks until they relented and agreed to do the uncredited but much flaunted cameo.

Getting back to shockingly less than absolutely terrible acting, Jason Statham really opened up his acting abilities in this film and made three facial expressions instead of his standard one! In different scenes, he managed to look pissed off (as we’ve come to expect) and hurt, and happy! Statham played Lee Christmas, a knife-flinging brawler who challenged his knife throwing against Stallone’s single-action shooting multiple times during the movie.

Jet Li played Ying Yang (I know, I know – who the hell named these characters anyway). Ying Yang is predictably the martial arts expert in The Expendables who uses caricatured Kung-Fu motions for every action (including the requisite swishing sound effects) throughout the film. He is obsessive about his diminutive stature and uses it as an argument that he should be paid more than the other mercenaries. Although his martial arts are impressive, he often finds himself helpless against the brute force of the larger characters. Although surrounded by men taller than himself, he was the giant if you count acting abilities. I’m saddened that Li even agreed to do this insulting role. He is so much more talented an actor than that.

Dolph Lundgren plays Gunner Jensen, who gets fired from The Expendables for acting recklessly and outside of the group’s code of ethics. Upon dismissal, he ominously tells Stallone that he won’t cause any trouble because he’s “a nice guy”. Gunner Jensen has a particular beef with the diminutive Ying Yang. Gunner is probably the character with the least surprises, including his betrayal and death, and his resurrection and repentance in the end.

Eric Roberts plays James Monroe, a two-dimensional former CIA agent gone cocaine drug lord. He operates the island using a team of American thugs who influence the military force on the island to keep the people in submission.

Steve Austin plays Monroe’s hired muscle, named Paine (I know – again with the silly names). He does a lot of posturing and head beating in the movie until he falls into a puddle of burning jet fuel in his final fight.

David Zayas plays General Garza, who is the only character in the film with an actual internal conflict. After years of oppressing his people, first on his own and then under the thumb of Monroe and the other Americans, he decides that his pure-hearted daughter was right after all. He comes around to an upright moral position just before his demise, for a Darth Vader-esque death.

Giselle itié plays the beautiful, kind daughter of the general. In her one-track mind, she believes in good triumphing over evil even in the worst of odds. She refuses to flee the island, thinking that she can make a difference with her presence.

Mickey Rourke plays Tool, the lovable, wise womanizing tattoo artist that gives council to The Expendables.

And, I’ve saved the best character for last: Terry Crews plays Hale Caesar, who is the support character for the most important character, his AA-12 shotgun, which nobody has heard of despite being a 28-year-old design. In The Expendable Movie, the AA-12 is louder and more devastating than any other weapon, including M4’s, AK47’s, RPG’s, hand grenades, and belt-fed machine guns. It shoots a mythical, 12-gauge round that stabilizes with spring-loaded tail fins, that explodes upon impact. This fully-automatic shotgun fired hundreds of explosive rounds from only two drum magazines and was light enough that Caesar was able to haul it all over the jungle and through the palace, and finally had to drop it to make his escape from the exploding palace.

Final thought:

Don’t pay full-price to see The Expendable Movie. Wait until it’s in the dollar theaters, or out on rental. Make sure you are boozed up first. This flick would be fun to watch with a group that was pretty well buzzed. Other than that, it’s kind of a waste of time and money.

On his email list on 2/5/10, John Farnam wrote:

Excellent response to a common question from naive students, “Why can’t I just shoot him in the leg?”

… from a colleague:

“Deliberately launching high-velocity missiles, from a firearm, in someone’s direction, necessarily represents a voluntary employment of ‘deadly-force.’ Your sincerely articulated ‘intended outcome,’ for the most part, ceases to be relevant once you press the trigger!

I’m not sure why so many apparently fail to grasp the foregoing, when they simultaneously claim to understand perfectly why they are shooting someone in the first place! When defending yourself with gunfire, it is always because you perceive an imminent, deadly threat to yourself (and/or other innocent parties), and other, lesser options are precluded, ie: unlikely to be efficacious, unavailable, or not practicable.

Any time you shoot someone, you are employing ‘deadly-force,’ because no one can accurately predict the ultimate damage a bullet (any kind of bullet, striking anywhere on the body) will do. You may attempt a shot to an extremity, and you may even be successful, but your bullet may still sever an artery, and, as a direct result, the person may bleed to death in short order, even when that outcome was not your ‘intention.’ Even when death does not result immediately, permanent disablement/impairment/disfigurement surely will. No one ever ‘recovers completely’ from a gunshot wound!

Deadly force is deadly force. Know and understand that you cannot shoot anyone in a ‘non-deadly’ manner!

In defensive shooting, our goal is, of course, to end the criminal’s violent behavior as quickly as possible. To that end, we shoot with sufficient precision and volume to accomplish the goal. After that goal is accomplished, additional shooting is unnecessary, and thus unjustified.

The incontrovertible, inescapable maxim is: Shot placement that is most likely to stop violent, criminal behavior quickly is also most likely to beget fatal wounds. For better or worse, the two outcomes are inseparably linked! Accordingly, purposely attempting to inflict ostensibly non-fatal wounds may well actually prolong the fight, exacerbating risk-exposure yourself, other innocent parties, even the VCA himself.

In addition, attempting to hit arms or legs of an aggressively animated attacker represents a far greater challenge, even for competent marksman, than does aiming for the chest and trunk. Thus, attempting to ’shoot him in the leg’ is unlikely to be successful to begin with!

You must, at long last, confront the unavoidable fact that employing gunfire in self-defense, no matter your intent, is likely to result in forceful death, or permanent, crippling injury, to the VCA in question. Who cannot
accept, nor deal with, that stark reality, should have naught to do with guns!

Trying, in the face of the foregoing, to convince yourself that ’shooting him in the leg’ is an appropriate force-response to a lethal, personal attack is delusional in the extreme! It is identical to the self-deceptive concept that a nation can print its way to prosperity, or that death, pain, and suffering, in general, can all be legislated out of existence.

Only cretins and children believe that!

‘Shooting with charity’ is thus an absurd contradiction! Who believe it are destined for a short and unhappy life!”

Comment: Years ago, the false concept of deliberately wounding an attacker with gunfire was actually taught in some circles. No one, with any credibility, teaches it today.

/John

As many times as I’ve tried to state the same point, I’ve never been able to say it so fully and yet plainly. This was simply too good to not pass on.

BEFORE THE ADDRESS -

OK. First of all, it’s a quarter till the speech comes on. I only thought it fitting to watch on Fox. I mean, come on, right? So, anyhoo… It’s so freaking rare that I ever watch anything broadcast, it’s such a novelty that I turned on the TV ten minutes ago.

American Idol is on. What kind of ***t is this?!?!?!???!? I know that some people electively watch this garbage, but it’s seriously mundane! How could someone consciously subject them to this unless they are waiting for the next show to come on in twenty-five minutes? (Please, please don’t answer that.)

All the ’singers’ sound the same. I mean – THE. SAME. I know that there are styles that come and go, but be they men or women, boys or girls, they all sound EXACTLY the same! When they find out that they are going to Hollyweird, they flap their wrists in a frenzy as they fan away their tears. WTF is that?!?!?!

I mean they all that that little ‘Awawawawawa’ trill in their voices. If I had EVER and I mean EEEVVVEEERRRR performed any kind of music like that in my lifetime, I would have wound up with a teacher’s foot in my a-hole. The girls sing low, the boys sing high… Come to think of it, pop music hasn’t really changed much in the last twenty-five or so years…

I kind of like commercials as rarely as I ever see them anymore. Hyundai… *Well, that news girl is kind of hot – in a square-jawed, bite-it-off sort of severe way.* AI is back. She’s wearing PINK eyeshadow. I think her shorts are wider than they are long. Did I go to sleep normal and wake up a Puritan or am I just getting old in my non-TV-watching way? *This chick is TERRIBLE!*

The British dude is mean. She was bad, but she wasn’t abusively bad. Yeeeeeaaaahhhh… Melissa is getting drunk tonight. I bet she gives it up to the first dude that shows interest. That’s just sad. Simon! That’s his name!

Yup. This is tarded – all over again. I’m really ready for this crap to be over. But, this cancer chick is wearing a cute skirt. So, do they always show you some underdog that you have to feel sorry for on this God-forsaken show? Leukemia. Is that how that’s spelled? I feel compelled by her singing, but I know that it’s only that I feel sorry for her. Well, and she’s not doing the ‘Awawawawawa’ thing so much. Crap. They’re going to send her. Not even Simon was mean to her. Yup. Predictable.

I can honestly see why people watch this garbage. Leukemia girl is going to Hollyweird with all the other ‘Awawawawwawa’ losers! Yay! So, there’s a commercial break, and I need to put the kiddo to bed. Now that I’m all geared up for shallow, glitzy shows of formulaic showmanship, I’ll be ready for the teleprompter’s state of the onion address! BRB!

THE ADDRESS -

Okie dokie. I’m baaaaaack! I got the kid in bed, and got my booze refill. Tonight, it’s Fighting Cock. Never heard of the stuff before, but it’s cheaper than the regular stuff and it just sounds redneck. On the tube, they’re showing all the politicos, commontatos, stuffed shirts, and talking heads. You know, we should ship all those people to another planet along with all the telephone cleaner type people so we can get on with life.

Oh, oh! Here HE comes! *clapping* *commontation* “mumble, mumble” Apparently, there’s not teleprompter in the crowd. I think I heard him say, “Hey, hey, hey!” Wow! What an orator! I shouldn’t get judgmental yet. He’ll give me plenty of ammo before this is over…

Unrelated note – I’m missing buttons. I was going to link ‘Fighting Cock’ to the Fighting Cock website, fightingcock.com, but I don’t have buttons! That’s weird! I’ll have to check and see if my wordpress installation is jacked up or something…

*Shaking hands* *clapping* *waving* “Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” “Thank YOU! Thank you.” *San Fran Nan introducing* *clapping* *clapping* “Thank you.” *clapping* You know, the first ten minutes could have been skipped. I just got to see Leukemia Girl and Terets (sp?) Boy sent to Hollyweird.. Oh, he’s reading his teleprompter!

*Stating the obvious…* *Trying to sound ironic…* *Citing history…* *Talking about Civil Rights…* *Speaking of the American Way, in a roundabout way, trying to claim some sort of credit…* *Trying to sound like Reagan…* *Blaming the last guy.*

I think it’s funny that he’s talking about how much debt we WERE in when he took office. That’s actually really freaking hilarious! “One in ten people can’t find work” That’s me, Mr. Obama! I’ve decided to make my own work! Tee hee! *he KNOWS our struggles and anxieties!* Ooooooooooooo! *He’s touching our hearts and appealing to our emotions.* (He doesn’t know this robot very well…) Now, he thinks he knows what we want and feel, and what we’re tired of. What he doesn’t realize is that we are just tired of hyper-leftism. Let’s get rid of big government, and I think we’ll all be happier.

Crap. I’m going to have to take a break. I’m only fifteen minutes in, and the kybard is about to catch on fire. His voice is making me try to misspell! BRB. “Never more hopeful about this nations bla bla bla than tonight.” *clapping* “Despite…” Srsly, BRB.

Well, I stepped out during the ’saved or created’ bit, and bit my tongue, and came in to clapping. Now, he’s talking about how he’s going to shore up small businesses. I’m not impressed. Tax incentive for businesses to develop new stuff. Yeah. He’s now talking New Deal crap. If a 60-year-old accountant loses his job, he’s not going to go to work building a highway. I’m not going to go to work building a new highway. That’s not my skill set. He’s talking about building up blue-collar labor. Gobama. I guess. “Werr gonna give these jobs to Americans,” he says. Or, the teleprompter says, anyway. “Who is pulling those strings?” I wonder.

He’s demanding a bill. He better not claim ’saving or creating’ my job. That’s all I’m trying to say. He’s again blaming the last administration.

That’s a lot of gray hair that wasn’t there this time last year. This job is killing our Undocumented Commander in Chief. I’m shocked at all the yes-men cheering in the crowd. They must have cherry-picked them. He’s making more promises he can’t deliver on. That kind of exemplifies this administration. “I’m going to make sure that everyone has affordable, high-quality healthcare. Watch me turn this water into wine.” Bla, bla, bla…

Blaming the former administration again. That’s getting really old. Blaming financial institutions. Nancy Pelosi looks like a cross between Golum and a chimpanzee. Joe Biden must have gotten botox this week. I think both of them did, actually. Now he’s talking about free energy and curing cancer. Nope. He’s not a megalomaniac. Not at all. “More jobs. Clean jobs. Green jobs.”

So much for Valentine’s Day. I’m sorry, Jenni. I wanted it to be something special. So much for that. It looks painful when Joe and Nancy smile. I expect their faces to crack off behind Teh One!. “Overwhelming scientific evidence on Climate Change.” Except for the fact that it’s not getting any warmer. And, the fact that the ‘evidence’ is apparently fabricated. But, we’re going to fix it anyway! And, we’re going to export! Even though they don’t WANT our goods. We’re going to DOUBLE our exports, apparently! –to other countries that don’t want our crap. –with a new committee! –seeking AGGRESSIVELY! Oooooooooo!

We’re going to make sure our trade partners play by the rules! *giving the camera the ‘loser’ symbol* We’re going to invest in skills and education. Does that mean that he’s going to re-educate me? NOW, they’re only going to reward success. No longer is this administration going to reward failure. NO MORE!!!!! *clapping* Now, he’s prattling about the success of our children. We better shore up their success, since they owe a f***ing LOT OF MONEY!!!! Money for schools! *yes-men applaud standing.*

$10,000 towards college? ZOMG! That pays for BOOKS! Yay! If you go into the bureaucracy, you don’t pay for skoolz! Now, he’s feeling the middle class through the Biden. “Biden mad! Biden smash!” Now, we’re talking about refinancing.

Yes, we’ve had some bank sending us threatening letters saying that we need to refinance. But, we’re the RESPONSIBLE people. We bought a modest house at a good interest rate, and we’re getting letters saying that we need to refinance. They word it like we aren’t in compliance. But, I digress…

He didn’t choose to tackle this issue ’cause it’s good politics. Healthcare, healthcare… *close up of the first Klingon bride* “She gets embarrassed.” I would too, Barry. I would too. They’re going to bring down the deficit by ONE TRILLION dollars over the next two decades! OMG!!!11!!!! If they could do three times that in the next three years, that would put us back to before the dumbass got elected!

Now, he’s talking doomsday if we don’t do what he says. Too bad he doesn’t have an actual doomsday device to hold us ransom. Healthcare, healthcare… He’s claiming that the doctorses and nurseseses like his plan. He’s saying that he’s open to other ideas. But, we know how this administration treats alternative ideas. *clapping, oh the mindless clapping…* “massive fiscal hole in which we find ourselves” …yeah, after spending like no administration since Ramesis II. (Still blaming the last administration.)

(Still blaming the last administration.) “BS, BS, BS, BS…” (still blaming the last administration.) Now, he’s acting like he feels for us commonfolk serfs again. Now, he’s going to freeze federal spending for three years, except for all the programs. Now, they’re going to go through the budget line by line, page by page. (not like they have for the bills past.) (Blaming the previous administration yet again.) “Bi-partisanship.” I really hate that word. It’s the new Washington buzz-word. (Blaming Bush again.)

NOW, he’s a proponent of pay-as-you-go. I wonder where that was in the first year… Now, he’s misrepresenting AND blaming the previous administration. NOW, he wants to try ’something new.’ I thought that was the bullet-point of his campaign. Then, it was just Chicago-style, deep-dish politics, right? But NOW, NOW – it’s going to be something new. That’s what he came to Washington to do. He waited a year to do it… He’s excluded lobbyists from his club (except for the ones he liked – then, he dropped the rope ladder for them).

Now, he’s urging for bi-partisanship, “Democrats and republicans!” Lather, rinse, repeat. Now, he wants transparency in spending. He said that we’d get that a year ago, but he says we’re going to get it now. What shall we get? “Now… …I’m not naive.” No, you’re a bastard child of an American teenage whore in Kenya. Oops. Did I really just write that? Now, he’s trying to go buddy-buddy with the Repubs by “speakin’ to both parties now.” No more grudgeses! Letz just pass all teh billz taht Nancy wantsez too! *nearly whispering* He’s trying to change the tone of American politics here.

Notes the Democratic majority. Addresses the Republicans and gives a guilt trip. He’s going to have a ‘meeting’ with all of them. No doubt, he’ll make them run the gauntlet and then do a keg stand before he’ll let them go home. Better bring your lube, Repubs! It’s going to be a rough ride. *Close-up of that dude named Janet Neopolitan – or whatever his name is* Who would name their son ‘Janet’ anyway? Now, he’s talking about all our boys dying overseas. And, how we’re going to finally send more soldiers to finish the job! We’re going to come together in London – finally! Whew! He finally inspires confidence!

As a candidate, he said he was going to end the war. Some years later, he might actually – that is his promise. We’re going to partner with the Iraqi people to end this war – just like we have been for several years now. The military brass don’t seem impressed, but the yes-men applaud standing. At long last, Obama will sign for more resources for the military. Our troops are going to come home from Iraq so they can go to Afghanistan instead.

What the hell is Michelle wearing? It kind of looks like a purple theater curtain… He’s comparing himself to Reagan again… Now, we’re going to be the leader among the countries and we’re going to punish those that don’t obey us. He accuses the right of things, and then he claims that’s exactly what he’s going to do. WTF is that? (Don’t make fun of him for saying ‘HIV-Aids.’ That’s the way it was written on the teleprompter.) Now, he’s saying that we’re wonderful because of Haiti. Granted, we’re doing some great stuff there, but I don’t think that has anything to do with him or his decisions.

“America must always stand on the side of freedom and human dignity. Always.” (Unless it was the last administration, of course.) Now, he cites the Constitution, as if he gives a s*** about that rag scrap of paper… Strengthened punishment of ‘hate’ crimes. Will repeal laws against gays in the military. The military brass seems unimpressed while the yes-men go wild. Women’s rights. Crowd goes wild. NOW we’re going to enforce immigration. NOW we are. That hasn’t been at the top of the Left’s agenda, but NOW we’re going there.

*Talking about ‘American’ values.* I’m not the only one that doubts his sense of ‘American’ values, am I? Careful ragging on the lobbyists, ‘Bama! Some of them are in your cabinet! “Not everyone believes…” We can change when we deliver YOU to the border! Now, he’s talking about doing what’s best for the next generation. Heh. He’s funny. I wonder if he knows how funny he is… We’re going back to the setbacks of American families this year. Hey Barry, I’ll trade you! I bet I could do a better job than you are! Let’s see if you could do what I am. *Tear-jerking stories and inspirational bromides about us as Americans*

“You don’t quit, and I don’t quit!”

“And God bless the United States of America!”

CONCLUSION -

I’m not sure he actually said anything there. –well, if you read between the lines, some of it had to do with cold-sweats after that election in Mass. I dunno. The talking heads are talking, the yes-men are yessing, and the politicians are politicing now. I kind of think that American Idol was more of an investment than what I just watched. I’m kind of impressed with the way my keyboarding has come along. Even with his fast-talking I think I could have actually transcribed it live if I had really wanted to. Maybe I should try to get a job for court transcription or something. Maybe I should run for office. All the politicians made it, and I think I’ve got a whole lot more to offer than the vast majority of those.

GODWIN’S LAW -

Anybody notice that David Axelrod kind of looks like Adolf Hitler? He ought to go with a shorter haircut and lose the mustache. Maybe I should go into business giving makeovers to politicians. So. Many. Possibilities. I think I’ll stick with the holster gig for now… G’nite, all!

Wai writes:

If you file for unemployment, you can probably get your state’s unemployment agency to pay for your college classes, if you meet the qualifications. And don’t think of it as “feeding off the system” because your former employer’s unemployment insurance payments to the state pays for these services, for the most part.

As for me, I finally got a job interview next week.

I would have never guessed that Wai was the Antichrist.

The thought of going back to school is becoming more and more plausible. I really am going to check and see what the laws in OK are. I hope your job interview goes well!

At work, I’ve been getting spam from what appears to be some kind of Russian dating site. I obviously have not followed the link, for fear of contracting some kind of digital disease. But, I’ve been giggling at the messages in the emails as I peruse my “Junk E-mail” folder. Here are a couple of gems:

Subject line:

If you are disappointed in its second half, bold, come in!

..and the body text:

I can do for you is – what can not no girl! Step to enter [web link redacted]

It cracks me up when spambot girls speak engrish! She sounds like a LOLcat!

Here’s another:

Subject line:

You feel lonely? “I’m too lonely, a friend of the other company?

(I love the superlative quotation mark!)

And, the body text:

Hey, why do not you write? You forgot about me? “I am very unhappy without you, remember me?” It’s me, Olga from Russia, Moscow, remember? I’m waiting for you on his page on the Internet, and miss you terribly!

Um… Olga *shuddering at the mental image of the woman that this name evokes* – srsly NOT interested!!! Whose page are you waiting on again? Maybe you should hit ‘him’ up. I prefer my women less digital and more familiar to me. In fact, I prefer my women in the singular, and I’m really quite happy actually. Thanks anyway.

By now, anybody who has been been reading my blog is aware of my watch experiments. For anybody else who doesn’t feel like following that link, here’s a quick update: My Seiko and my Tag Heuer were both significantly losing time, after relatively fresh overhauls. The reason I’m wearing mechanical movements is that something about my body’s chemistry quickly kills quartz watches. Since both automatics were losing time, I decided to demagnetize them and see if that fixed the problem. With the Seiko, it very much did fix the problem.

I’ve been wearing my Tag for six weeks now since the demagnetization. I set it to the time on my phone, which as you probably have assumed is set by the atomic clock in Colorado. At this point, the Tag is eight minutes fast, according to the same reference. So, it appears to be gaining 1:20 per week, which although not perfect, is a significant improvement over what it was doing prior to the demagnetization. Until this writing, I have not attempted to start the timer on the watch. But, I will now start the timer and run it for a minute as a preliminary test.

…

The one minute test functioned correctly, except the reset seems to be jammed on the minute hand of the timer. I’m going to reset the time, turn on the timer and run it for a couple of hours see if that corrects the problem. I’ll let you know what happens!

…

UPDATE *cheesey telegraph beeping sound*

The Tag’s movement got completely jammed when the timer had hit about half an hour. The minute hand still doesn’t reset. I’m really annoyed. I’m going to call the jeweler who rebuilt it and give them a piece of my mind!

Jenni pointed me to this rant by Stingray at Atomic Nerds about the commercialization of Christmas. It seems that at about this point, nearly every year, I find myself making an empty vow that I will never participate in commercial Christmas again. I pretty much hate trying like mad to find that special something for each and every person on my list. Most of the time I’ll find an item here or there that’s a no-brainer for someone in particular, and then when we’re getting down to the line, I’ll desperately throw my hard-earned money at some other stuff that will do so no one will feel left out. It’s psychotic! And yet, I know that I’m not alone. Lots and lots of people do the very same thing. Year after year, I claim to myself that I will never do it again, and year after year, I do the very same thing all over again. Our household is basically on a spending freeze until after the first of the year. What was supposed to be a really cool gunnie Christmas has turned into a frantic run to empty assets as quickly as possible.

After reading the above mentioned rant, I found my friend, Wai’s words in the comment section:

I don’t care what you say, Stingray, I still believe in God, Christmas and the Christmas Spirit. I feel the same way you do about the commercialization of Christmas, which is why I don’t buy into any of it. I went to Catholic school and became so disillusioned by all the hypocrisy that I became, not only an atheist, but an anti-God bonehead. Throughout the years of personal strife, I came to let God back into my heart and at once, I felt inner peace that I had never felt before. I don’t believe in organized religion by any means, but God is always and forever and will always be my saviour.

And, that’s one of the many things I like about him. I’ve tried on several occasions to bully him into starting up his own blog, but he apparently is not to be bullied into such things. He makes so many excellent points in his comment that I can’t really touch on all of them. for one, I’m not about to get started on my atheist rant right now. But, words like these convict me that I have lost sight of what the celebration is really about. It’s not about getting a shiny new gun, or fancy electronics, or boots or hats, or a tacky tie. It’s not about spending my hard-earned cash on some piece of crap that the receiver won’t even like, nor is it about finding that perfect present that a loved one will cherish forever. At the risk of sounding like a Hallmark special, what is Christmas really about?

Most biblical scholars agree that Christ was not, in fact born on December 25. In Rome, December 25 was the pagan celebration of the Winter solstice, a time of wild partying, since the sun was not in fact going to disappear forever, yet again for another year. Early Christians adopted this date, as the ambient celebration would mask their risky, religious holiday. Christians were not well-liked at the time, and open celebration could get them thrown to the lions. Ironically, many historians agree that Jesus was born on September 11, 3 B.C.

The ‘wise men’ or ‘magi’ traveled from the far East to see the King of Kings who had be prophesied. These magicians were astronomers and astrologers. Something was lost in the English translations, referring to the star that they followed, as the original text refers to a cosmic event of some sort. We make a distinctions between different bodies in the heavens, and events in the sky. The textual reference to the star that they followed may have been more general than our language can allow, and actually referred to a conjunction between the moon and the constellation Virgo, in a form that has only ever happened once. It was a symbolic conjunction that told these ‘wise men’ that a virgin was giving birth to the Savior. They were able to calculate when the conjunction would occur and where it would be most visible from on the globe. This told them exactly where Christ was born. If this is true, the same conjunction is described in the book of Revelation.

These visitors from the East bought three symbolic treasures with them. Gold represented the wealth of royalty and showed respect to Jesus as being the one true king. Frankincense represented the priesthood of Christ, as it was used in ceremony by the priestly class. Myrrh symbolized the fact that the child was born to die. Myrrh was used as a fragrant embalming agent, and is a resin, harvested by gashing the commiphora tree. It bleeds out of the gashes and is collected after it hardens. So, the magi from the orient knew exactly who they were coming to see – probably on a far deeper level than Mary and Joseph.

Three hundred some-odd years later, a boy named Nicholas was born in the Greek city of Patara on the southern coast of Turkey. He was orphaned while relatively young, and his parents left him a fortune. As he grew, his religious convictions led him to use his wealth to the benefit of others. There are legends about his generosity of Robin Hood proportions. Multiple stories tell of him throwing bags of gold through the open windows of the needy, landing in the shoes which were left by the fireplace to dry (hence stockings for gifts). Nicholas became Bishop of Myra and was known as the patron and protector of children. St. Nicholas spent time in prison because of his faith, and the anniversary of his death was celebrated for centuries on December 6. I’m not really sure how St. Nicholas got inducted into the whole Christmas celebration beyond the closeness of the dates of December 6 and 25.

Fast forward a thousand years, give or take, and filter the holiday and traditions through Norse religion. Santa took on Thor characteristics and gained a ‘helper’ based on Thor’s greatest enemy, Loki. Thus was born a demon-like creature, Krampus, which means ‘claw’ in old German. So the lore went: The list was kept and checked twice. The nice children got treats from Santa. The naughty children got beaten and whipped by ‘Claws’, and were left with lumps of coal and switches. In Austria and other parts of Europe today, Krampus is highly celebrated in a tradition that’s like our Halloween – but for grown-ups to scare little kids – and with booze instead of candy – and everybody gets schnockered.

Somehow, Krampus got left off the boat when Christmas came to the New World. Santa kept the ‘Claus’, but only in name. We grew up hearing about the jolly old elf who shook like a bowl full of jelly, who magically comes down the chimney perhaps due to Clement Clarke Moore or Henry Livingston… Then, Christmas became commercialized. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman inexplicably entered the holiday in the mid-century. Christmas was taken over by industry and hard sales. Even the Oklahoma City Zoo got in on the action to wheedle themselves into a hippopotamus.

Now, so-called ‘Black Friday’ Christmas sales make up 20% of annual retail sales. Some say the Saturday before Christmas is even busier. This is not to mention Cyber Monday or the stragglers that run amok on Christmas Eve. The sheer amount of money that changes hands due to this holiday is mind-boggling.

Public schools can no longer promote ‘Christmas,’ as it may offend those of other faiths. My child’s school has no ‘Christmas’ programs, but instead has ‘Seasonal’ programs where the kids will sing about snow (which doesn’t even happen often in this part of the country). The lights and signs in people’s lawns say ’season’s greetings’ or ‘happy holidays’ instead of ‘merry Christmas. The poison known as political correctness has all but completely driven the reason out of the season. Christmas is regrettably no longer a Christian holiday. It has returned to the pagans in the worship of money and wordly goods, and the celebration of nothing more than going into debt.

So, what is the true meaning of Christmas? Can we go all the way back and celebrate it as an unprecedented event that took place on the most significant 9/11 in the history of the Universe – that was even worth designing the history of the sky around? Is it about throwing sacks of gold through people’s windows, hoping you can score in a sock or a shoe? Is it about scaring the living crap out of little kids so they’ll do what their parents tell them to? Is it about spending every last penny you have, and then going into debt to benefit no other than industry in a gambling-addict-like craze?

Or, can it be as simple as my friend, Wai put it? I would like to think so. Jenni and I were able to purchase some nice gifts for a few people. We don’t presume that it’s the reason for the holiday. We will spend time with friends and family, and we will remember God’s love and His gift to us. I believe that’s the reason for the season. If you are reading this, I hope you can see through the lights, plastic, and glaze and feel His love as well. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Just like clockwork, I fill up the gas tank on our car every five days. I have pushed it to six from time to time, but it seems that when I do that, I’m sweating over the tank light until I make it to the gas station. On the down side, the engine has an 11:1 compression ratio, and doesn’t run worth a crap on anything short of premuim. On the up-side, the tank only holds twelve gallons, and the car sips on that at an average of 26.5-mpg. Yesterday was the day in question when it was time to fill up.

The station that I prefer to go to is near Jenni’s office, but it’s kind of a rough corner. It’s not that I ever fully let my guard down – I’m just not the kind of person that ever takes it for granted that I’m ’safe’, but I have my more relaxed moments and my more guarded moments. When I’m at this gas station in particular, I’m usually on high-alert, carefully observing everything happening around me.

While I was filling the tank, I noted the other cars and drivers in the parking lot and at the pumps. It’s funny that the people I notice don’t necessarily seem to notice me there. I watched a silver Pontiac Vibe pull into the parking lot and up to the ‘FREE AIR’ compressor thingy. I watched as a mid-thirties, brunette girl stepped from the car, wearing a pair of khaki-colored pants and an unprinted, white T-shirt. This struck me as odd, since it was close to freezing, if not below. When she turned to close her door, I saw a full-sized, polymer semi-automatic in a belt holster on her right side.

It appeared to be a S&W M&P or something similar. The magazine floor plate looked like the M&P’s anyway, but I was trying my very hardest not to stare. I glanced around the parking lot, and it was very clear that nobody else had noticed. I looked back in her direction, and she had turned so that I could only see her left side, and the gun was out of sight. For a fraction of a second, I wondered if I had imagined it – until she turned with the air hose in her hand and I caught a full view of the profile of her sidearm again. Once she was done airing up her tires, she pulled around to a gas pump and proceeded to fill up her tank. I left the gas station while she was doing this.

When I picked up Jenni from her office, I told her about the whole experience. She said that it didn’t really surprise her, as she’s seen many people in that little part of town open carrying. She noted that they are usually young women alone, or people on motorcycles. Personally, I can fully understand why anyone on a bike, or without some kind of group support would want to be armed in this neighborhood. Honestly, that’s a big reason that I got my CCW permit – most places that I hang around are extremely safe, but I do pass through other areas that raise my red flags.

Having said all that, public open carry is explicitly illegal in the State of Oklahoma. I know people do it, because I’ve seen people do it on multiple occasions. Working retail, I had a salty, old, regular customer who kept a nickled revolver on his hip at all times, and in plain sight. And then, I’ve had many experiences like the one yesterday, where I’ve witnessed an ununiformed individual openly packing heat. (Maybe that’s why she was down to her T-shirt in freezing temperatures! ) In any case, I have to wonder how people get away with it. You don’t just wander around, obviously breaking the law as a lifestyle and still not get caught. I could understand how someone might do it out of ignorance, but that would only last until the inevitable confrontation with law enforcement. Perhaps they know some kind of obscure, legal loophole that has so far evaded me? There has been a pretty hard push to legalize open carry in the state, perhaps these people are deliberately breaking the law as a protest to that end? In any case, it does boggle the mind.

On October 27, I wrote about attempting to demagnetize my watch to see if that would make it keep better time. On Saturday, October 24, I used my Elimag on both my Seiko and my Tag Heuer. The Tag has been in my underwear drawer since then, but I’ve been wearing the Seiko constantly. I reported that my Seiko had been losing approximately six minutes a month, and that I wondered if this problem was due to magnetism. On November 1, I forgot that I was conducting this experiment, and went to reset it, as I have the habit of doing at the beginning of each month. So, I lost my results for that week. However – today, December 1, I am happy to report that my Seiko has actually gained a minute in the last month! I would consider that a huge success! When I get home this evening, I’ll stash my Seiko in my underwear drawer and switch over to the Tag again (that is – if I don’t forget). We shall see whether I experience similar results with it. I wonder if other people have trouble with their mechanical watches and magnetism…