Fuzz-Head & Random Thoughts

I’ve been telling Jennifer on and off for years that she should shave her head sometime, not because I’m sadistic (well, this is not evidence of my sadism anyway), but because I know she’s pretty enough to pull it off. I’d still be crazy about her even if she wasn’t. Her looks aside, her hair grows fast enough that I knew it would be back in no time. Two weeks ago, we actually did shave her head in support of cancer victims, as you already know. Anyway, here’s what she looks like now:

Her hair has grown at least a quarter of an inch since we sheared her. Yeah, by Blogorado, she’ll be shaggier than a crew cut, unless she decides to trim it up between now and then. Even if she doesn’t, I’ll likely reshave my head before then, not like that’s newsworthy. Incidentally, the reason we didn’t call Schutenfest “Bloglahoma” is that sounds like something that got caught in your throat and you regret choking on in polite company. I’ve got loose visions for a logo, as it looks like it’s turning into a full-on annual event. Anyway, I took the above pics with my new Nikon AW100, which deserves its own post altogether. And speaking of gear reviews, I may have a redux to my Double Tap post, without giving too much away too soon.

And guess who I’m listening to this morning…

We could have had an owl
Rolling in DDT
You had my hardened Sal
Dee yea haw
But you plaited
To the bee.

First one to guess correctly wins one hundred internets.

What Caliber for Zombie Crickets?

I’m not the first to post about bugs and pets today by any means. But, LawDog segued a great queue for me to tell a story to yue. Ahem. To *you*. As Teen Bot and I were preparing for our lunch today, he commented that he saw a cricket that the cats had decapitated that was still hopping about. I commented that they were simple enough life forms that it just didn’t surprise me. Having the cats and dog around is actually really great pest control. The crickets have been horrible this year and we’ve had quite a few stow-aways. The cats’ favorite method to deal with these annoying pests is to play with them until they die from it, and leave the carcase on the floor until the dog finds it and cleans it up. The dog works quickly so this arrangement works pretty well for all of us. Most of the time we never even see the bug itself.

Anyway, About an hour after Teen Bot pointed out the headless cricket, a movement on the ground caught my eye. It was indeed the zombie cricket, still squirming. It seems that whichever kitty nearly dispatched the errant insect worked with surgical precision to mostly pull the head off, hanging by a thread of some kind of tissue. Central nerve perhaps? Anyway, it’s now been well over two hours since Teen Bot discovered our very own Miracle Mike, and he’s still break dancing in the living room. I agree with Teen Bot that it is pretty gross, but I also find it quite compelling. I may have to put the little guy in a jar to see how long he lasts. If this is indeed the beginning of the zombie invasion, I may need to get one of these. In fact, I’m off to jar up an abomination. Until later!

Internet Shoe Meme

Phlegmmy wrote about shoes being connected to personality and then my lovely wife followed suit. Today, I’m wearing a cream colored pair of vintage Tony Llamas with brown lizard wingtips and riding heels. What do my shoes say about me anyway? So, I did a Google search and wound up taking this quiz on Seventeen. It said that it was a personality test based on shoes, but it also asked about dresses and makeup, which is stuff that I don’t really participate in. Weird. Anyway, the results say “I’m Style Savvy!” Which, I guess is pretty true. The longer personality description is as follows:

You’ll try anything once! This applies to your footwear and your life. You know what you like, for instance a wedge in the summer and some kitten heels in the winter, but are also willing to try something more daring when called for. Loving the spiked boot trend? You’re already hitting the mall for a new pair. If it doesn’t work out, you know you’ll always have your go-to shoe styles to fall back on.

Wait. A wedge? Kitten heels? Spiked boot? I think Seventeen thinks I’m a cross-dresser. 😕 Maybe I should have taken the shoe personality quiz on 247Girl instead.

IT Again…

Last Summer, I had an incident with my laptop that I chronicled here. Since then, I’ve been a good kid. Every now and then I’ll pull the keyboard to blow out the CPU fan with canned air. Incidentally, canned air is the most terrifying thing in the world to kittehs. Even more so than acid water. As I’ve done this, the interval in which I have to blow out the cooling fan has become smaller and smaller. This morning, the laptop overheated and bluescreened on me. *sigh…*

I decided that it was about time that I more fully open up the machine and get better access to the CPU fan so I could more thoroughly clean the dust out. I figured that a deeper cleaning was in order. So, I got out my tiny screwdriver, turned on my task lights and tore into the poor computer. Some of the Toshiba Satellites have been made so that you pull the keyboard, and the top panel and then you have access to the fan. This is how Jennifer‘s Satellite is put together, actually. But my computer is put together in an awkward format so that it has to be torn down to bare pieces and the motherboard has to come completely out of the case in order to fully access the stupid fan! So, I had the lappy in a million pieces all over my sewing table and design desk.

I didn’t realize I would have to separate the heat sink from the CPU until this point. Crap. I don’t have any of the dielectric goo that you’re supposed to smear between the CPU and heat sink. Well back in the day, I used to just slap a heat sink right back on a P-II processor with whatever was left of the old grease. Maybe that would work here too. So, I cleaned out the fan very thoroughly and reinstalled it. I tracked down every screw and replugged every pigtail. Once I had every component reinstalled and had checked the whole thing over three times, I powered her up. The computer booted up and everything seemed great for about three minutes until it overheated and shut down. Crap. Heat sink grease. These earlish AMD dual-core, 64-bit processors are renowned for their heat production.

Having no car, since Jenni drove our only car to work, I had to either find a ride or walk to the local computer supply store. I called my brother who has not been working for a little while, and he agreed to pick me up and run my errands with me. We made it by the supply store and the cute little Asian girl helped me out. She apologized that they had no static bracelets or alcohol swabs, and showed me two different variations on dielectric grease. I opted for the allegedly better one. While we were out, we caught some texmex fast food, ran by the p4wn shop, and the insurance office.

Once I made it back home, I again reduced the lappy to bits and pieces, but this time I douched the CPU, GPU, and heatsink with denatured alcohol on a cotton ball and applied the gray goo. Again, I reassembled everything. Holding my breath, I didn’t lose any screws. Whew! By this time, I was getting pretty good at disassembling and reassembling my computer. When everything was all put together again, I took a deep breath and powered on the computer. It hummed to life normally and I began to check settings and files and make sure I hadn’t lost any data in the last crash. About three minutes in, around the time that I realized that I did not yet hear the cooling fan, it overheated and shut down. Again. Crap. I forgot to plug in the damned cooling fan.

Tearing the computer back down to bits and pieces went remarkably quickly this time. I was becoming a pro and wondered if I should start doing this for a living. When I had the machine into a million pieces again, and had removed the motherboard once more, I found that I had indeed failed to plug in the cooling fan on the last reassembly. The heatsink was nice and toasty from one end to the other, but the fan had not moved air across it. Practically smacking myself on the forehead, I plugged in the fan and reassembled the computer at record speed. Of course, my brother had decided to hang around for a while. He was getting quite the giggle out of my antics. But, but, I neeeeeed my computer!!! And, it doesn’t work like this:

Once the laptop was all one piece again, I hit that power button again. The computer hummed. Lights came on. I waited. I heard drives spin. I heard beeps. The monitor produced no sign of life. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After waiting a few moments with no life from the display, I powered it down yet again and laid my head down on the keyboard, fighting the urge to sob or throw the stupid thing through the closed window. I couldn’t swear that I had gotten the monitor plugged in on the last go-together, so it was safe to assume that I simply had not plugged it in. So the computer came apart again. All the while I thought about how normal people pay someone else to do this. The monitor wasn’t unplugged per se, but it wasn’t exactly fully plugged in. I’m not sure how I managed that, but there it was. I plugged in the damned display and screwed the damned computer back together.

I said a quick prayer and took another deep breath. I held it this time. I pressed the power button and clenched my teeth, still holding said breath. the next few seconds were an eternity as I braced for whatever should come next with Murphy’s Law. But, the lappy blazed to life with the Toshiba spash screen. OH HALLELUIAH, PRAISE JESUS!!!!! My ears were serenaded with the sweet sweet sound of the Windon’t startup jingle. By this time, the day was about shot and I hadn’t done any of the work that I really needed to. But, my computer is back together and running better than it has in some time. Ironically, I think that I can just as effectively spray out the cooling fan through the underside of the keyboard now that I’ve seen what I’m working with. Someday I’m going to pay someone else to do this crap though.

Five Most Wanted?

Robb Allen gives this challenge. Money or usefulness not being an object, what five guns would I get? Easy.

#5 – Pocket cannon. These things are somehow even dumber and cheaper than a NAA Mini, but it would be soooo fun to have one! At $30, I honestly don’t know why I haven’t bought one yet.

#4 – Mateba Unica 6 Autorevolver. I must admit that I am a sucker for weird guns. Maybe it’s a little sci-fi fanboy of me to want one of these abominations. At least I didn’t say Desert Eagle! 😛

#3 – Beretta UGB25 XCEL 12-gauge shotgun. And frankly, even though it comes with a 28 or 30-inch barrel, I’d probably hack it down to around 22-inches. (Hey, this is my money-no-object fantasy here, and I’m making this up as I go along.) For those of us who believe breach loading your house gun is a more useful option than recharging a tube mag, a semi-auto with a single round magazine hanging off the right-hand side of the gun sounds like a sweet proposition for a home defense scattergun!

#2 – GE GAU-8/A 30mm. Even thinking outside of the realm of usefulness or affordability, this one stays pretty ludicrous as on option to own, which is why it didn’t make first place.

And so…

#1 – Ma Deuce, baby! That’s right, kids. Normal people get a Rolex when they’ve finally ‘made it’ in life. Not me. Imma buy me a M2 Browning machine gun. Hellz yeah! This truly is my Holy Grail gun.

Yeah. In fact, if I could have one and only one any gun designed by John Moses Browning, it would have to be his beautiful M2. You can keep your 1911. All joking aside, this list would probably be completely different from day to day (and yet, a Registered Magnum didn’t make today’s list somehow) with the exception of the .50 Cal.

Skype Scammer

I hadn’t had a contact from a 419 scammer in quite some time. I was starting to think that they had gone extinct or something. But, apparently not. I recently signed up for a Skype account so I could be part of the train wreck known as Vicious Circle. It was fun but my equipment sucked up the show. So, I’m going to have to get a new headset and see if I can do that again sometime. Since I now have a Skype account, I downloaded the Android app to my Epic 4G and linked my account with my FB account. Pretty nifty, actually. The other day I saw that a woman had added me as a Skype contact. I added her reciprocally, assuming that she was some distant cousin that I didn’t remember at the moment. Seconds later, she attempted to call me on Skype. That’s about when I realized that I didn’t know her at all. I didn’t answer, but I shot her an IM via Skype.

[9/26/2011 3:18:49 PM] Evyl Robot: Do I know you from somewhere?
[9/26/2011 3:19:15 PM] freda boamah: oh not really
[9/26/2011 3:19:41 PM] freda boamah: i just wanna make some friends

Don’t think that I’m too slow. This is about when I thought that she may have ulterior motives. In fact, I initially only continued the conversation because I was curious as to whether she was a person or a sophisticated bot.

[9/26/2011 3:20:11 PM] Evyl Robot: Fair enough.
[9/26/2011 3:20:28 PM] freda boamah: ok
[9/26/2011 3:20:34 PM] freda boamah: cool
[9/26/2011 3:22:14 PM] freda boamah: im freda all the way from usa now in ghana on a mission in search of my missing mum n my dad is admitted at the hospital in ohio suffering from cancer n life has turned upside down for me

Now, I haven’t been to Ohio, but I don’t believe that the natives typicaly refer to their mothers as ‘mum’ there. By this point I was pretty certain that I was not messaging with an American. And, I could kind of smell the request for money coming.

[9/26/2011 3:22:32 PM] freda boamah: but i know i will surely work things out
[9/26/2011 3:23:29 PM] Evyl Robot: That is rough. How did your mother go missing?
[9/26/2011 3:24:40 PM] freda boamah: my dad n mum got divorced n my mum came to ghana n i have been sent to search for my mum

“Have been sent to search for”? Why yes. ‘Cuz she’s totally a sooper seekrit spye dotter!

[9/26/2011 3:25:25 PM] freda boamah: but have spent all my money on me in sleeping at hotels n guest houses just to find my mum to bring peace

Wait for it!

[9/26/2011 3:26:12 PM] Evyl Robot: I see. I spent all my money starting a business at home.
[9/26/2011 3:26:37 PM] freda boamah: ok dear

“Dear”?!? *Snick. Guffaw.* Alright, I have to admit that the only reason I didn’t block and report her at this point is I wanted to see how far she’d take the ruse with absolutely no promise of anything.

[9/26/2011 3:26:46 PM] freda boamah: so what work do u do?
[9/26/2011 3:28:54 PM] freda boamah: hello
[9/26/2011 3:35:09 PM] Evyl Robot: I do leather work. I sell belts and holsters for guns.
[9/26/2011 3:36:19 PM] freda boamah: ok
[9/26/2011 3:36:38 PM] Evyl Robot: I have made a few purses and other leather goods as well.
[9/26/2011 3:36:48 PM] Evyl Robot: But the holsters are my biggest volume.

Which all of you know you can order here, incidentally. 😉

[9/26/2011 3:37:33 PM] freda boamah: ok dear thats cool
[9/26/2011 3:37:49 PM] freda boamah: are u married?

Oh crap. This isn’t one of those sex scams is it?

[9/26/2011 3:38:03 PM] Evyl Robot: Yes. I’ve been married for thirteen years.

Thirteen wonderful years to an American woman who could kick your Ghanan butt!

[9/26/2011 3:39:46 PM] freda boamah: ok cool
[9/26/2011 3:52:22 PM] Evyl Robot: Are you married?
[9/26/2011 3:53:45 PM] freda boamah: nooo
[9/26/2011 3:54:40 PM] Evyl Robot: LOL!
[9/26/2011 3:56:12 PM] freda boamah: why?
[9/26/2011 3:56:39 PM] Evyl Robot: Lots of ‘o’s in that ‘nooo’.
[9/26/2011 3:57:15 PM] freda boamah: ok
[9/26/2011 3:57:17 PM] freda boamah: i see
[9/26/2011 3:57:30 PM] freda boamah: but for now im really disturbed

No, it just seems that way because you are a scammer from overseas. But, you didn’t mean ‘disturbed’ as in a little off mentally, did you? My bad.

[9/26/2011 3:57:47 PM] Evyl Robot: About your parents?

See how nice I’m playing? You know where this is going. Wait for it.

[9/26/2011 3:58:01 PM] freda boamah: i dont have money for shopping tommorow my foodstuffs are finished
[9/26/2011 3:58:04 PM] freda boamah: yeah

Wait.

[9/26/2011 4:03:25 PM] Evyl Robot: I hear you. It’s hard to make it.
[9/26/2011 4:04:10 PM] freda boamah: can u do me a favour by sending me an amount to buy foodstufs tommorow?

BOOOM!!! Bwahahahahahahaaa! That didn’t take her long at all, did it? I decided to play sympathetic at this point.

[9/26/2011 4:04:56 PM] Evyl Robot: I’m sorry. I’m all tapped out right now. I don’t even have enough to buy my work supplies.

And, that was partially true that day! :/

[9/26/2011 4:06:35 PM] freda boamah: ok dear
[9/26/2011 4:06:51 PM] freda boamah: not even a $50?
[9/26/2011 4:13:16 PM] Evyl Robot: I wish I could. Sorry. :(

Alright. That was an outright lie. God, please forgive me for lying to your precious, scamming snowflakes.

[9/26/2011 4:13:54 PM] freda boamah: :(
[9/26/2011 4:23:12 PM] freda boamah: hello
[9/26/2011 4:23:48 PM] Evyl Robot: Hi.
[9/26/2011 4:24:09 PM] freda boamah: so what about me ?

Yeah, what about HER?

[9/26/2011 4:24:20 PM] freda boamah: my life is in dnger now
[9/26/2011 4:24:45 PM] Evyl Robot: And that sucks. I’m sorry.

That wasn’t exactly true either. When people do this as a lifestyle, they probably do live in some pretty crappy conditions, and I do feel for them. But, I’m not stupid enough to let that part me from my money by way of gross dishonesty.

[9/26/2011 4:26:09 PM] freda boamah: so what do we do?\

I really wish that I hadn’t jumped off the computer by this point. But, alas. I wouldn’t get to explore this question until she engaged me in another thread a couple of days later. Where do these people get off? Is anyone actually stupid enough to fall for this crap? Anyway, here’s what happened next:

[9:57:27 AM] freda boamah: hello
[9:58:06 AM] Evyl Robot: Good morning.

What kind of a morning would it be without Freda, after all? I bet y’all are jealous you don’t have a freda of your own!

[9:58:27 AM] freda boamah: morning
[9:58:39 AM] freda boamah: n how are u doing?

She sounds so concerned! Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?

[9:58:55 AM] Evyl Robot: Just fine. Were you able to come up with funds for your groceries?
[9:59:10 AM] freda boamah: no dear
[9:59:23 AM] freda boamah: not at all
[9:59:26 AM] Evyl Robot: :(
[9:59:34 AM] freda boamah: no one to help me out

Maybe I have a feeling that if people like me will keep people like freda busy, they won’t have time to talk to the gullible old people that actually would send money. This is like a public service. I’m a philanthropist!

[10:00:30 AM] Evyl Robot: That sucks. I feel for you.
[10:00:59 AM] freda boamah: ok
[10:01:22 AM] freda boamah: dear pls cant u in any means help me out?
[10:01:32 AM] freda boamah: :(

I’m actually pretty proud of my answer here…

[10:02:33 AM] Evyl Robot: Only with sympathy and prayer.
[10:02:49 AM] freda boamah: oh i see
[10:02:58 AM] freda boamah: n thx for that
[10:03:20 AM] freda boamah: but dear pls with a little amount u wish to help me out pls
[10:03:23 AM] freda boamah: :(
[10:06:03 AM] freda boamah: hello

Maybe it’s because I have a short attention span or maybe it’s because I legitimately stay too busy for this kind of foolishness, but I was bored at this point. Time to see how much push she’ll take in the other direction.

[10:06:18 AM] Evyl Robot: Within thirty minutes of introducing yourself, you asked me for money.

In all fairness, the timestamps indicate that it was more like forty minutes. Maybe she was legit after all. LOL!

[10:06:31 AM] Evyl Robot: I have tried to be nice, but that stinks of a scam.

In other words, this was obviously a scam even before she asked for money.

[10:06:57 AM] Evyl Robot: I do not make it a practice to give money to random internet acquaintances no matter how sad their sob story is.

If there’s more of a background than a thin story and shady claims, things might be different. Maybe.

[10:07:08 AM] Evyl Robot: I’m sorry but I will not be sending you money.
[10:07:14 AM] freda boamah: oh
[10:07:30 AM] freda boamah: is that all u can tell me?
[10:07:45 AM] freda boamah: n u now call me a scam?
[10:07:49 AM] freda boamah: :(

This one is observant, isn’t she? 😛

[10:08:37 AM] freda boamah: oh lord of mercy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I defy you to diagram that sentence!

[10:12:23 AM] Evyl Robot: http://www.scamwarners.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=18712
[10:12:49 AM] Evyl Robot: Normal people don’t make friends on the internet so they can ask them for money.
[10:13:19 AM] freda boamah: i dont understand what u are saying

That’s only because your English isn’t very good.

[10:15:14 AM] Evyl Robot: I don’t believe you are from the U.S., I don’t believe your profile pic is of you, I don’t believe your dad is sick in OH, I don’t believe your mother is lost, I don’t believe you are on a quest to reunite your family, and I don’t believe you need $50 from me for groceries. I believe you are a native of Ghana who wants to part an American fool with his cash with a sad story.

*Crickets chirping*

[10:15:22 AM] Evyl Robot: If that’s not true, prove it.

She’s gone, Evyl. She finally figured out that you aren’t buying what she’s selling.

[10:16:30 AM]You have no response? I’ll give you ten minutes to think about it and then I’m going to block your profile unless you have something to say about it.
[10:36:08 AM] Evyl Robot: Good bye. If anything you’ve told me has been true, I wish you the best. No, I wish you the best regardless. If my suspicions are correct and everything you’ve told me is a lie, may God have mercy on your soul.

Would you believe that I haven’t heard back from her? 😛 I removed her from my contacts and blocked her profile. Then, Skype popped up with a “Report Abuse?” window. Don’t mind if I do! Anyway, I could have used some of that raw snark on her I suppose. That’s what I’ll do next time I get one of these.

p.s. – Give donations for Kilted to Kick Cancer here. I think the other kilted bloggers are falling for this whole ‘put it off till the last minute’ sneak attack ambush thing that you’re doing. It’s safe now. If you make your donations on my behalf now, they won’t know what hit them!